Jotunn on the loose
by moonbird
Summary: One evening, a young Loki mess's with a spell he had been warned to stay away from. The spell reveals a horrible secret, a secret involving blue skin and suddenly Loki is having the worst night of his life as he must run for dear life.
1. Spell gone wrong

In Asgard, home of the gods, two princes lived. They were at that age where they weren't quite adults yet. They were not as tall as the proud warriors they admired and their shoulders not so broad yet either, but it was okay. They were still growing.

Thor was the oldest and as such had a bit of a head start. His younger brother still only came to just below his shoulder. Then again, there were a few hundred years between them, so it probably wouldn't stay that way. Thor was a warrior prince, already getting into fights with warriors twice his own size.

On the other hand, Loki had always been considered weak, even for his own age. As a child he had been rather sickly, often confined to bed. This had, however, allowed him to spend time in his mother's company learning about sorcery.

From a young age, Loki had realized that if he ever wanted to beat Thor in a fair fight, he couldn't simply rely on physical strength as his brother did. He would have to use different means. Play to his own strengths. Loki was determined to prove that, with his magic, he could be a warrior equal to Thor, perhaps even better. He just had to keep going, had to keep studying, keep practicing.

As brothers, it was a very natural order of things that the two would always push each other, always try to show each other up. They would be friends but also rivals. This constant state of challenge was a struggle for Loki. Whenever he and Thor engaged in a practice battle, Thor would win. Every single time. There had never been an exception.

This time was no different. Just as Loki had blocked Thor's sword with his daggers, Thor pushed, sending Loki flying backwards. He landed with a hollow thud and groaned, "Urrghh."

"Are you alright, Brother?" Thor asked, his brow furrowing in mild concern.

"I'm fine," Loki muttered, not bothering to get up from the ground.

Thor blinked, then stepped over to Loki, looking down at him. "You are getting better," he grinned. "It took me over fifteen minutes to get you down this time!"

Loki rolled his eyes. Then Thor reached down to offer his brother a hand. There was a moment of strained silence before Loki finally accepted the proffered hand, allowing Thor to pull him up.

Thor smiled, looking at his smaller brother with a glimmer in his eyes. "Mother and Father will be leaving soon. We should go see them off."

"Yes indeed." Loki sighed as he brushed dirt off his sleeve.

Thor just looked at him. This was one of those habits that were a bit unique to Loki; he always hated being dirty, unlike most Asgardians who didn't seem to care much. It was like Loki's dislike of being touched… Loki was the only one Thor knew who was like that. On Asgard, embraces were freely given. It was a sign of their comradery, of their friendship as warriors. It was just normal.

In situations like this Loki always slipped out when he could. He simply didn't like being touched, which was… unfortunate. This often led to the people of Asgard thinking Loki was being rude or that he didn't like them, when that wasn't true. It was often up to Thor to explain to them, _No, it's not you. Loki just doesn't like being touched by anyone… anyone except our mother._

Finally, Loki seemed to be done as he tugged a renegade string of hair behind his ear and glanced up. "Shall we?" he asked.

Thor nodded. As they started to walk together the elder prince began to chatter, "Don't lose heart, Loki. I have four hundred year's head start. It only makes sense that it should take time for you to catch up."

Loki groaned, his eyes closing.

"How goes the spell casing?" Thor prodded. "You were working on…" his eyes squinted. "Glamours, right?"

"Fine," Loki proclaimed. "I am doing perfectly fine."

"Struggling, huh?" Thor asked, knowing how to read his brother. "When are you going to learn something interesting? Like... fireballs or, you know, things that are useful in combat?"

At that, Loki halted, fixing his brother with a glare.

Thor blinked. Clearly, he had just angered Loki, but he couldn't, for the life of him, figure out why. Then he smiled, his thoughts already rushing ahead to a new topic. "Hey, the warriors three and I are going hunting this evening. You should come."

"Why ever would I want to?" Loki asked.

"It'll be fun!" Thor beamed.

"Your friends hate me," Loki countered as he picked up the pace.

"No, they don't. They love you!" Thor grinned, running after him. "When they talk about you, it's only about how smart you are."

"Because _you_ are in the room with them," Loki replied, arching an eyebrow. "You really don't know how to read between the lines, do you?"

"They say it out loud, so it must be true," Thor interjected.

"You really are an oaf. You know that?" Loki asked.

"Am not," Thor replied, unphased by the jibe. "Just give them a chance. We have so much fun together. I really wish you would join us more often," he stated, his eyes shining with honesty.

Loki rolled his eyes. "I have plans for this evening," he informed him.

"Really?" Thor asked, looking surprised.

"Yes!" Loki snapped. "Believe it or not, my world doesn't revolve around you. I have other ways I prefer to spend my time."

"Oh, alright. Maybe next time." Thor's smile faltered for only a moment before returning to that big, stupid, outright innocent grin. Loki closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

* * *

It was true. That night Loki had plans of his own.

Together he and Thor had seen their parents off, as they were on their way to one of their political meetings in another realm. As usual, Frigga had kissed the both of them on the forehead and asked them to behave while they were away. Odin, for his part, offered them a stern look, reminding them that they were princes of Asgard and that he expected them to be on their best behavior. As was their habit, both Thor and Loki nodded, their father nodding back in approval.

Of course, Odin's words often meant very little in this regard. Both princes were deeply aware that the perfect time for mischief was when their parents were away. The two young boys were more than happy to exploit the opportunity.

Thor, as he had already informed his brother, was going hunting with his friends. Desiring to prove his worth, he already had his hopes set on slaying an enormous beast. What did it matter to him if others said he was still too young for such a quest?

As for Loki, he had been waiting for this opportunity.

It had happened only a few days ago. Loki had stumbled upon a spell, a spell that would reveal a magician's true potential. The moment Frigga had seen what he was doing though, she had snatched the book away.

"But Mother," Loki protested, looking up with entreating eyes, "it says plainly that this is a very common spell. It helps guide magicians so that they know what direction they should go. It won't unlock anything, just show where the potential lies."

Frigga hesitated as she held the book. Then her eyes lowered. "Loki," she said, "my dear son, I will have to ask you not to attempt this spell on your own." Her tone was both firm and pleading as she went on. "Allow me time to consider how to go about it. And promise me that we'll do it together?"

Loki blinked, confused. While it was true that his mother was his first and best teacher, he didn't need her around for every single spell he worked on, certainly not one as simple as this.

"But we will do it?" Loki asked.

Frigga paused. Then slowly she nodded. "Yes, I think… It is long overdue. Still, I must think."

Her words were rather confusing. Several days had passed, and the subject had not come up on its own. Whenever Loki had tried to bring it up, Frigga had dismissed it no matter how cleverly he went about the request. She would always inform him that she was a little busy right now but assure him that they would get around to the spell.

It was odd. Although there were few people whom Loki trusted, his mother had always been one of them. And yet, the longer she avoided the subject the more he suspected that this was one promise she did not intended to keep.

That only sparked Loki's curiosity more.

He had waited, biding his time. Now that Frigga and Odin were away from Asgard, there was no chance of someone telling their mother that Loki had taken the same book from the library. He was now seated with the spell book in his own chambers. Peering at the pages, he shifted to a more comfortable position, laying on his stomach.

It really was a simple spell, novice at best. There didn't seem to be anything dangerous about it, nothing that would warrant his mother's hesitation. Just a spell to showcase where his potential was, what he should focus on as he continued his studies. What his core was made of. Loki smirked as he sat up, crossing his legs then clasping his hands together as he took a steadying breath.

Time to find out.

He reached inwards towards his own _seiðr_, bringing it to the surface. _Show me… What is my true potential?_

There it was! He found his center. Murmuring the words from the yellowed pages before him, he tapped into his magical core. Loki blinked. It was like… a cooling breeze. The feeling rushed through his body, up his spine, and he shivered in surprise before slowly exhaling. It felt… really nice, and he opened up to it, allowing the pleasant energy to fill him.

Honestly, it felt amazing. It felt as if Loki had been wearing a huge suit of armor that had been too heavy for him and yet at the same time so tight that it had constricted him, not allowing him to breath properly. Without even realizing it, he had never breathed freely before.

Loki took a deep breath, feeling his lungs fill before letting go of the suddenly fresh air. He could feel the magic, cool and refreshing, pulsing through his veins, and he smiled as he looked at his hands. Loki felt his heart slow to a halt. Wide eyed, he stared at his hands. Why were they… blue?

Slowly Loki lifted his hands then pulled back his sleeve. Blue covered his entire arm, and there were strange ridges. What?! What the Hel was this?

Frantic eyes darted around the room. Scrambling to his feet, Loki nearly tripped as he ran to the mirror; however, the second he caught a glimpse of himself he let out a scream in pure shock, tumbling to the floor.

No. No, no, NO! Loki squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to suppress the image of ruby red eyes looking back at him. What was this? What was happening? Loki screamed again as he grabbed his hair. No, this wasn't real. There was no way this was real!

"Prince Loki!" A voice boomed from outside his door. "We heard screaming. Are you hale?"

Loki gasped, turning huge eyes toward the door. "Yes… Yes, I am hale!" he shouted in a desperate voice. Only then did he notice the place he was sitting. Ice was spreading from his body, crawling across the floor like spiderwebs. That made Loki jolt up. He stumbled backwards, only to fall directly into a chair that in turn fell with a crash.

"My prince!" came the startled shout.

"D-don't come in!" Loki bit his tongue. He had sounded panicked. He tried to pull himself back up but stumbled again.

"Prince Loki?" a concerned voice now asked. "Forgive me, Your Highness, I shall enter."

"No!" Loki screamed, only for a gust of icy wind to slam into the door and freeze it. A shriek sounded from the other side. Loki halted. He gasped for air. Then knocks thundered on the door.

"Jotunn ice!" A yell sounded. "The door has been frozen by Jotunn ice! Prince Loki!"

Deafening thuds echoed through his chambers as more shouts came.

"Break down the door!"

"The prince!"

Loki shook his head, stepping backwards. No. No, no, no. This could not be happening. It could not.

Finally, the door shattered, giving way to the barrage of blows from outside and sending fragments of ice splintering throughout the room. Three guards stared wide eyed at Loki, whom returned their wide-eyed gaze.

One of the guards gasped. "A Jotunn! What have you done to the prince?" he demanded drawing his sword.

Loki's eyes watered, his entire body shaking. "I… I…" he cried. "I haven't done anything!" he shouted, spreading out his hands. To his surprise, shards of ice shot from his fingers, forcing the guards to shield themselves with their arms. Loki took the opportunity to run, run right past them and out.

"The Jotunn!" a guard screamed. "After him! Don't let him escape!"

Loki could only think of one thing. _Run_. He tried to suppress his tears, to control his shaking body. Wildly, he gestured with his hands, trying to cast a shape shifting spell. His fingers sizzled with magic, even more than he was used to, but there was no shape shifting. Instead he unintentionally made the floor pure ice, and the guards behind him slipped and fell over each other as Loki gasped.

"The prince is not in his chambers!" a voice boomed.

"The Jotunn must have taken him! Get him!"

Loki squinted his eyes. Oh god… This could not be happening. This could _not_ be happening!

* * *

_This chapter has been edited by Serpina Silver_


	2. The hunt

Thor's laughter bellowed through the wind and rang against the cliffs, crashing like thunder. "What a glorious hunt!" he beamed.

"Indeed! Fandral grinned. "The women should be most impressed when we show them this beast."

Sif looked at Fandral, giving him that expression of 'You can't be serious, can you?'

"Splendid marksmanship, Hogun," Volstagg complimented their archer.

Hogun bowed his head. "I have vowed to become the finest archer in Asgard," he reminded them. "I shall claim that title." He raised a fist signaling the triumph to come, and Thor laughed.

Tied behind their four horses was a massive beast, its carcass dragging the ground. The creature resembled a boar but had fur black as night. It was larger than any of their horses, and its huge mouth held the razor-sharp teeth of a carnivore.

"Wait till Loki sees this," Thor grinned. "He will surely regret not joining us on the hunt!"

None of Thor's companions replied to this. They elected not to, simply shaking their heads in amusement instead. Thor didn't seem to notice this, but the rumble of laughter died in his throat as he blinked and stared straight ahead. The others joined his stunned silence. They were nearing the palace, and it was very late, so late that most of the servants ought to have been asleep. The palace was supposed to be in darkness, yet there were lights in every window. Where they expected calm, there was instead frantic chaos.

Confused, Thor and his comrades exchanged a glance and then spurred their horses on as one, increasing their speed as well as they could with the huge beast in tow. As they arrived in the courtyard, they saw guards running to and fro. The maids were huddled together, trying to calm one of the younger serving girls who was screeching madly.

"What is the meaning of this?" Thor asked. Much to his displeasure, the question was lost in the uproar. "What is going on?!" he bellowed so loudly that he could not be ignored. Finally, an Einherjar came running.

"Prince Thor," he saluted him, "there you are. I must insist that you be brought to safety."

"What for?" Thor asked.

"A Jotunn attack, My Liege," the warrior informed him, earing wide-eyed stares from the prince and his four companions. "Somehow a Jotunn has gained access into the heart of the palace. We suspect there are more. Of that we are nearly certain." He glanced over the four warriors, then looked back to Thor, his brow furrowing. "Prince Loki is not with you?"

Thor blinked. "No, he said he had other plans for tonight." It only took a moment for this information to sink in. "Do you mean to tell me that Loki is missing?" he asked.

The Einherjar paled. "Oh no."

"What is it?" Thor demanded. His voice rose when there was no reply. "Speak!"

"The Jotunn, the frost giant scum… it was found… inside Prince Loki's chambers." Thor's eyes widened at the Einherjar's words. "And there has been no sign of Prince Loki. When we discovered that you had gone out hunting, we hoped he was with you."

Thor swallowed then shook his head. "No… I haven't seen him since we bid goodbye to Mother and Father." He shivered. "He… he went to the library. After that, I made ready for the hunt."

The look of panic on the Einherjar's face was anything but a good sign.

"Loki…" Thor breathed. Then his hands tightened around the reigns. His body began to quake. The sky above them turned dark, and a rumbling sound rolled overhead. "Who?" he seethed. "Who dares to touch my brother?"

Sif turned to him, her eyes shining with worry. "Thor."

"Friends," Thor spoke in a low voice, "it seems that the true hunt has yet to begin." He dismounted, holding Mjolnir aloft. "Whoever dares to enter Asgard's halls and touch my brother shall not live long to regret his folly!" A bolt of lightning split the sky.

"My prince!" Now more Einherjars had gathered.

"I will _not_ go into hiding!" Thor bellowed, forgetting the fact that he had yet to even grow stubble, heedless that he was yet to be as tall as any of the warriors surrounding him. "Never! Not when my brother is in need of my aid."

The warriors three and Sif then nodded solemnly as they all jumped down from their horses to stand behind Thor.

"We are with you, My Prince," Fandral said, and the rest nodded their agreement.

"That Jotunn scum shall pay," Thor growled. "Brother!"

* * *

Loki screamed as a massive bolt of lightning streaked the sky, briefly lighting his hideaway from a nearby window. Oh All Father, Thor was here. Thor was here and he was furious!

Desperately Loki swirled his hands. _Change… change! Why can't I change? Alright, perhaps I don't need to change forms…. A glamour will be enough. Just a simple, stupid glamour._

As Loki tried to do just that, a cascade of ice erupted and speared the table in front of him, impaling the wood with frozen spikes. The splintering wood sent Loki shrieking as he tumbled backwards bulging eyes fixed on what was left of the table. Then he took in the room at large. He had done it again. Everything had turned to ice.

Loki swallowed, fighting against the tears welling in his eyes. Whenever he tried to do magic, any kind of magic, it came out as ice. He clutched his head as fresh waves of panic washed over him. What was going on?

"He's in here!" the yells sounded from outside, and Loki squeezed his eyes shut. He had tried to hide in one of the many studies of the palace, tried to collect himself so that he could change or think of a plan. Any plan.

Once again, the ice spread across the floor, crawling up the door. It would always give away his location. Loki was trembling as he stared at the door, which would soon be hammered down. Not knowing what else to do, he placed his hands on the ground and created a block of ice right in front of the door. Loki already knew that he was only putting off the inevitable. Again, he closed his eyes, shutting out the horrible scene that continued to unfold before them.

Just a few hours ago, he hadn't been able to do any ice magic. Now that was coming so easily to him, but everything else was lost. Even the tears on his face were turning to ice.

Why… why?!

The guards had nearly broken into his sanctuary. Desperate to escape, Loki ran to the window, crawling outside. As he reached the roof above, he heard the shouts beneath him:

"Blast! The slippery fiend."

How was Loki to explain this? He wasn't a Jotunn. Something had gone wrong. Something had gone terribly wrong. Why hadn't he done what his mother had asked him to? Wait. Make sure the spell was done correctly.

Hugging his legs to his chest, Loki buried his face in his knees as he choked down sobs alone on the rooftop. He wasn't a little boy anymore. He wasn't. Yet he wanted to call out for his mother so very badly.

Just then, out of nowhere, an arrow with a fiery tip came straight for Loki, and he screeched, just managing to jump aside in time.

"There! I told you my eyes were not playing tricks on me."

Startled, Loki crept forward and looked down to see Hogun with his bow. Next to him were Fandral, Volstagg, Sif, and Thor.

Thor.

His entire body seemed to be crackling. This certainly explained the rain that was soaking Loki's body and turning to ice as it made contact with his clothes.

Thor took a deep breath, and then he roared so that all of Asgard was sure to hear, "Where is Loki?!"

Loki scrambled back. He knew that even though Thor was not yet a fully-grown man, that hammer in his hand could still crush his skull. He crawled further backwards, stalling for time while he grasped for a plan. All too soon the sky sizzled with a familiar energy and with it came the Thunderer himself, hoisted up by his hammer, flying above Loki. Thor landed on the roof with a boom.

"Where," he seethed as he took a step forwards, "is… my… BROTHER?"

Loki retreated again, his frightened ruby red eyes the most visible part of him in the blackness of night. Then a lightning bolt crashed, illuminating Loki for a moment in its blinding flash.

"Jotunn scum!" Thor shouted, hammering down with a terrifying blow, breaking through the roof. Loki yelled as he jumped back. "I'll kill you!" Thor threatened. "I'll kill _all_ of you!"

Loki closed his eyes. He could not say a word. His body was frozen. Then suddenly he heard a panicked shuffling. Eyes flying open, Loki looked down to the startling realization that the ground beneath them was glare ice. Thor was slipping backwards, tumbling down the roof.

"No!" Thor took a step but kept sliding. "You tricky fiend!" he shouted, only to fall down once more.

Loki shook his head, still unable to move beyond that gesture of disbelief. He watched as a gust of wind pushed Thor, sending him sliding down. The elder prince tumbled to the edge of the roof and then fell to the ground, landing amongst Sif and the warriors three with a thud.

* * *

"Thor!" Sif shouted, frightened as the body of the young thunder god landed next to her. "Are you alright?"

Thor hissed as he sat up. "It's a slippery one," he stated, wiping his face on his arm. He looked up just in time to see the Jotunn scurry down the hole he had created with his hammer.

"How did it get in here?" Fandral asked.

"We'll soon find out when we catch him," Thor fumed. "We shall make him tell us everything… as I break his arms and legs!" As he rose, he couldn't help but smile.

"Thor?" Sif questioned.

"That's a Jotunn, a real Jotunn!" Thor pointed to the spot on the roof where the creature had disappeared. "I have never seen one in real life before. If we catch it then Father will surely be proud." Then he frowned. "Norns help him if he has harmed Loki," he rumbled, the thunder joining him, adding gravity to his words.

"What did it look like?" Fandral asked.

"Ghastly," Thor breathed. "Those eyes… demon eyes, and his skin… blue like dirty, frozen ice. It was truly a horrid sight." Then he frowned. "It was a bit small though. I thought frost _giants_ were supposed to be larger."

"Well, they do come in many sizes," Volstagg pointed out.

"Maybe he is just a runt who thought he was being clever," Hogun pointed out.

"Whatever that thing is," Thor looked up, gritting his teeth, "he shall not get away. No one touches my brother!"

* * *

_This chapter has been edited by Serpina Silver_


	3. A horrible realization

Loki once again closed his eyes. This was without a doubt the longest, most horrible night of his entire life. It was a nightmare! In fact, Loki was on the edge of convincing himself that the whole thing was nothing but a figment of his imagination. Perhaps he was actually asleep, and this was just a very, very bad dream.

Unfortunately, when he nearly relaxed because he had all but convinced himself of this, the comforting illusion was shattered by pain. His side burned from where a sword had managed to slice him. His leg stung where an arrow had grazed him. These sensations made it all too clear that he was awake.

The many hours that Loki had spent exploring the palace were finally put to good use. He knew every hallway, each secret passageway, and even the dusty, unused rooms better than anyone else. It would have been so easy to hide, if it hadn't been for the ice that haunted his every step. This couldn't go on though. What was Loki to do? If he managed to escape the palace, what would become of him? He would be outside with nowhere to hide.

From Thor's yells, it was obvious that no one had made the connection that Loki and the Jotunn were one and the same. And those yells were getting closer.

Once again, Loki was on the run, until he crashed into the all-too-familiar form of a warrior maiden. With a grim smile, she lifted her sword.

"Thor shall be most pleased."

"Sif!" Loki held up his hands. "Please don't. I… I don't want this!"

Sif's eyes narrowed. Then, stunned, she blinked. "That voice…" She shook her head. "No, Jotunns are known for their trickery!"

The hallways echoed with shouts. Pounding footsteps reverberated off the walls. The warriors three were coming. Thor would be here at any moment. Soon Loki would be surrounded with no chance for escape. He didn't have time for this.

"I'm sorry!" Loki shouted, creating a big block of ice that pushed Sif away.

Again, he took off running, dodging several arrows. Hogun was tailing him and not far behind ran Fandral brandishing his sword. Loki froze the floor with his ice and then slid on it himself, gliding much faster than he could have run.

Outside, the dark sky had slowly begun to take on a grayish hue. Soon the sun would rise. This was not good news for Loki. He had to think of something.

Finally, he rounded a corner and escaped into the great library. Slamming the doors behind him, he froze them shut before turning to the rows upon rows of books. The answer must be in here. Something… anything to turn him back. Please, for Helheim's sake! He rushed to the section on old magic, his body shaking so fiercely that he couldn't even grasp the spine of a book, his gasping breaths too quick for his eyes to focus on the titles. Then he froze as once again there was pounding at the door.

Desperate, Loki stilled his trembling hands enough to pull a couple of random books from the shelves. Then he turned, clutching them to his chest. With a flash of lightning and an earsplitting roll of thunder, the doors slammed inward. Of course, it was the thunder god himself who had managed to breach his fortress first.

Thor reached out his arm, gripping Mjolnir with white-knuckled hands. "You will not escape me now," he proclaimed.

Loki swallowed as he stepped backwards, gripping his books, not knowing what to do. He had never won a fight against Thor. Never. He always lost. No matter how hard he tried, how clever he thought he was, he would always lose. And this was no mere practice battle on the sparing grounds. This time the rage in Thor's eyes was real. His intent for murder was real. Loki whimpered, his mind failing him when he needed it most.

"I shall ask again," Thor stated, his footsteps echoing like the thunder outside and his voice a matching boom. He punctuated every word of his demand: "Where. Is. Loki?!"

At that, Loki's knees went weak. He slid to the floor, the books scattering around him like fallen comrades in a battle he knew he had already lost. He clutched his head and let out a pathetic scream. His shoulders trembled. He couldn't stop sniffling. Couldn't stop the tears falling from his eyes only to freeze on his face.

Thor was going to kill him. He was going to be killed by his own brother! He didn't want to die, not like this. Not like this.

There was an eerie silence as Loki sat there clutching his head. Thor, poised to strike, didn't move at all. The only sound in the room was Loki's sobbing and muffled cries. Then, slowly, Loki glanced up, realizing that Thor had indeed raised his hammer, but he wasn't slamming it down. Instead, he was looking at Loki with furrowed brown and confused eyes.

Unable to control himself, Loki launched for Thor's feet in a desperate hug, red eyes huge and pleading, only for Thor to jump back.

"N-no!" Thor stammered. "I… I know of Jotunn trickery." He pointed his hammer at Loki, though his had was shaking. "Y-you are just trying to… to trick me."

Wide eyed, Loki looked up, tears streaming down his face.

"You… you are a vicious beast?" It came out as more of a question than a statement. "You should be attacking me, should you not? I mean…" Thor swallowed and then his arm grew limp and fell at his side. "Where is Loki?" he finally asked, sounding less like a fearsome warrior and more like a pleading boy who had no idea what to do with himself. Although Thor would not hesitate to strike a raging beast or attacking enemy, a crying, cornered Jotunn he clearly had no idea how to handle.

Those tear-filled red eyes continued to stare up at him as Thor looked down with utter confusion and a touch of hopelessness in his own eyes.

"Listen," Thor tried again with a surprisingly calm voice, "just… tell me where Loki is, alright? Then I'll get you back to Jutunnheim." He cleared his throat, shuffling uncomfortably.

Those words made Loki gasp. Jotunnheim. He couldn't go to Jotunnheim. He didn't belong there! He broke into tears again, covering his eyes.

"Hey!" Thor exclaimed. "St-stop! I mean I… I'm not… What I mean is… I…"

Loki bawled. He wailed with shuddering gasps.

"I'm sorry!" Thor yelled, stunned. "Look. No hammer!" He dropped it on the ground. "Just stop, please!" He was outright begging, and Loki only cried harder.

"Bro-Brother!" he finally managed with a pathetic sob.

Thor blinked.

"It… it's me. S-something happened… and I… I can't change back!" he cried, shoulders shaking with the force of his sobs. "I tried, but I can't!" His voice rose in his desperation. His eyes, if possible, grew even larger. "Brother, please!"

Thor's eyes widened. For a while there was just confusion, bewilderment. Then slowly realization started to dawn on him. He gasped as confusion turned to shock. "Loki?" he asked.

Loki looked up at Thor, just as the first rays of sun filtered through the window, lifting the darkness. Thor's eyes that had been open in shock now turned to pure horror as he stumbled back.

"No," Thor breathed.

"Brother?" Loki asked.

"Loki, I… I'm so sorry," Thor gasped, trembling, his eyes filled with horror. "I didn't mean… I…" He fell to his knees, his entire body shaking. Then he covered his mouth as if he were about to vomit.

"Thor, stop! Don't hurt him!" Sif shouted as she burst through the door. "He's Loki! He—" She stopped at the sight of them. Thor on his knees, his entire body screaming shock and horror. Loki in front of him wide eyed, looking up. Sif froze taking in the scene. "Oh… You figured it out."

Slowly, Loki turned his head to look at Sif, his eyes hopeful.

Sif chewed her lip before she managed to speak again. "Not one single guard of Asgard has been hurt… If it were a true Jotunn intruder, then…" She swallowed. It was clear what she meant. There would have been at least a few slit throats.

Her words only made Thor gasp again. Just then, the warriors three came running in, bulging eyes taking in the scene.

Loki looked at them, his eyes still wide. "Please…" he asked, "help me."

Thor nodded. "Whatever you need, Brother." He sniffed. "I… I…" He was lost for words.

Sif, though, thought quickly and ran for the window to pull down the curtains. Then she strode to Loki and wrapped them around him like a cloak, forming a make-shift hood to hide his face.

"We need to get him out of here," Volstagg said.

Thor held out a shaking hand to Loki. "How did this happen?"

"I don't know," Loki sobbed hopelessly. "I… I attempted a spell. It was harmless, I swear! At least, it was supposed to be. Something must have gone wrong. I'm stuck. I can't change. I can't!" he gasped.

"Easy. Calm down," Hogun instructed. "Breathe. Panicking will help no one."

Loki took in a deep breath.

"What should we do?" Fandral asked.

Thor was shaking. "Protect my brother. I won't let anyone harm him."

"I'm afraid we'll have to hide him," Sif informed them. "Until the All-Father and All-Mother return. Surely they will be able to fix this."

"Hiding suits me well. I don't wish for anyone else to see me like this," Loki said, covering his eyes wearily.

Sif nodded as she put her hands on his shoulders and helped him to stand. Then she adjusted the curtain to cover his face. She pulled back her hands, startled. "Your skin… It's cold like a Jotunn's."

"It's not my real skin!" Loki hissed. "Obviously, something went wrong. Some… terrible curse."

"Of course, it's not. You are my brother," Thor nodded in agreement. "Loki, I…"

Loki glanced up, his ruby eyes briefly meeting Thor's before he looked down again.

"I'm… so sorry," Thor sniffed.

"It's alright," Loki replied. "Even a little flattering that you would go to such lengths for me."

"Of course, I would!" Thor exclaimed. "You're my brother!"

The corners of Loki's mouth turned up a bit, though the look in his eyes was still so hopeless that it caused Thor to turn away.

"Are you hale, Thor?" Fandral asked.

"I feel sick," Thor admitted, holding his forehead, which, true enough, looked clammy. "I… I raised my hammer at my brother." He pressed his hand to his mouth. "What have I done?"

"You thought he was a Jotunn intruder," Hogun reminded him.

"And that excuses my actions?" Thor exploded. "I should have stopped! I should have seen. I should have known. He's my brother!"

There was an uncomfortable silence as Thor gasped for breath, tears still silently running down Loki's face.

"Loki…" Thor breathed. For a moment their eyes were locked before Loki looked down. "If there is something I can do, _anything_…" Thor pleaded.

Loki wrapped the curtain closer around himself. "I just…" he tried. "I actually regret not going on that hunt with you now," he admitted.

Thor was stunned into silence.

"I want to forget this stupid night ever happened," Loki said, closing his eyes.

Defeated, Thor sighed. "Well, there's always next time. You know I always hope you'll come along."

Loki did not respond.

Then finally, Thor dared to touch Loki's shoulder. When his brother did not shrug his hand away, Thor turned him around and guided him away. "Come on. Let's get out of here."

Loki nodded, willingly letting Thor guide him. His entire body was still shaking, and he was desperate for the strength of Thor's hand on his shoulder. For once, he just wanted his older brother to handle things.

* * *

_This chapter has been edited by Serpina Silver_


	4. Hiding

Together Thor, the warriors three and Sif crept through the palace, keeping Loki shielded between them, still wrapped in the curtain. Each time they reached a corner, Hogan darted forward and glanced around to check if the coast was clear before he gave the signal for his companions to continue. The other four kept in a tight formation around Loki. The younger prince kept his head bowed and the curtain draped over his face as they slowly made their way downwards toward the secret passage. Finally, they slipped inside and continued down the winding passage until they reached a small room, one the princes had used in the past to hide from their parents.

As they stepped in Loki glanced around, noting the dust. Discarded in the corner was a small wooden horse that proved just how long it had been since their last visit. When Loki had been small, he had brought toys in here, he vaguely remembered. Hollowly, Loki stared at his old toy. Then he took in the rest. It was a very dull room. Just gray stone and a little furniture. It had been excellent as a children's hide out, but now…

Loki sighed deeply as he let the curtain slip off his shoulders. He walked to the cot that stood against one wall, sunk down and leaned back with a groan. In silence, the others stared at Loki. He let out a second groan.

"This is most peculiar," Fandral said. "That is so clearly Loki. His face and hair are as they have always been, but… well, he is blue… Jotunn."

"Tiny Jotunn." Hogun held up his hand, measuring Loki with a thumb and a finger from across the room.

"And, if I may say so, not all so ghastly as you claimed, Thor," Volstagg commented, making Thor gasp.

"I said no such thing!" Thor proclaimed.

Sif leveled him with a skeptical gaze. "As I recall, you said demon eyes."

"I did not!" Thor insisted, crossing his arms. "Stop telling tall tales." Everyone just looked at him. Then Thor sighed as his arms dropped to his sides. He turned to his brother. "Loki… how fare you?" he asked, his voice wavering.

"Well, Thor," Loki commented, not bothering to move from his position slumped on the cot with his head leaning back against the stone wall, his eyes wandering the ceiling, "I am stuck in this monstrous form. Half the palace is searching for me with the intention of bringing about my demise. I just passed the entire night running from my own brother. There's a wound from a sword on my side and the remainder of an arrow in my thigh. All in all, I am doing _splendid_." These last words came out in a sarcastic snarl.

The warriors couldn't help but snort at that.

"If we had any doubts, they're allayed now. That's definitely Loki." Sif's smile gave way to a look of concern as she stepped forward. "The arrow?"

Loki nodded at his torn pants leg. While the shaft of the arrow had broken off, the head still protruded from the wound there.

"This is going to hurt," Sif commented, pulling out a knife.

"I dare say. Just get it over with," Loki said, and Sif nodded as she started to dig with her knife.

Loki hissed, clinching his teeth together but didn't scream as the arrowhead finally found its way out. Then Sif ripped off a piece of her own cape and tied it snugly around Loki's leg.

"Hogun, go to the healer's room. Get some bandages and medical supplies," Thor ordered. "Fandral, go fetch my brother clean clothes, blankets and pillows. He must be exhausted. Volstagg, find us some food."

The warriors three all straightened up and replied with a "yes my prince" as they ran off.

"Thor…" Loki put in, surprisingly calm despite his pained whisper, "you should probably inform the guards… that the Jotunn got away or… something."

"But I…" Thor turned to him.

"I'll keep an eye on him," Sif assured him. "We won't let Loki be alone, I swear. And we won't let any harm come to your brother."

Thor was quiet for a while, then nodded. "Please, take care of him."

Loki heaved a heavy sigh. Sif, though, nodded seriously. Finally, that big idiot of a brother left as Loki slid down to lie on his back.

"We should probably check that wound on your side too," Sif commented. "You know how this goes. Strip."

Loki groaned but pulled off his tunic only to reveal a blue body covered with ridges in an undeniably elegant design. Wide eyed, Sif looked at it, and Loki snorted. "Oh please, keep staring at the freak."

"Sorry." Sift glanced away. "I've never seen a Jotunn before either," she admitted. Then she turned her attention to his wound, which was oozing. The blood was not red but seemed oddly purple. "You really did a number with this spell, didn't you?"

"Shut up," Loki muttered as he laid on his side, fully exposing the gash.

Sif smirked over the pure familiarity and started to clean. "It's a clean cut at least. Do healing stones work on Jotunns?"

"No idea," Loki grumbled. "I've never had a reason to study Jotunn physiology. What knowledge we require is simple enough. You sever their head or pierce their heart, and they are dead. That, at least, is the same."

"True," Sif nodded as she sat back.

Loki's frown transformed into a glare. "Why are you doing this, Sif?"

"What do you mean?" Sif asked. "I am treating a wounded comrade."

"Being nice to me," Loki clarified, his jaw set. "You don't even like me."

Sif's mouth became a thin line. "Whether I like you or don't like you, it matters not. I am honor bound to protect the royal family, regardless of personal feelings. That includes you."

"You don't have to be nice to me to protect me," Loki pointed out.

"I swear, sometimes it's like you don't _want_ me to like you," Sif huffed.

Loki closed his eyes then rested his head on his arm. "Thank you… for stepping in. If Thor hadn't realized on his own that it was me, your deduction may well have been the thing that saved my life."

Sif swallowed. "I can't imagine… what a horrible scenario could have played out," she admitted. "I thank the Norns it didn't come to that."

Loki nodded slowly. "Sif… why are you always tailing after those four?"

"They are my friends, and it is my honor to fight alongside them," Sif stated.

"Yes, but…" Loki turned his head. "You are the smartest one of the group, and yet they make you tag along. That doesn't seem right…. And you keep following them like a dog eager for its master's attention when it should be the other way around. You showed it once again tonight, putting two and two together when none of the others could."

"It's not like that!" Sif exclaimed, her cheeks red. "They are my friends. It is an honor to be considered Thor's confidant."

"I am merely saying you could do better," Loki stated.

"Now you're doing it again," Sif hissed. "Trying to put wedges between friends. This! This is why we don't get along." She threw down the cloth that she had used to clean Loki's wound.

Loki didn't reply but just laid there unfazed by her outburst.

Sif groaned but picked up the cloth and started cleaning again, only to give an extra hard press.

"Ow!" Loki yelled. "What was that for?"

Sif smirked grimly. "I don't have to be nice to you to protect you," she reminded him.

Loki returned her smirk. "And you've got your wit about you too," he complimented.

Sif sighed. She had to admit, this passive aggressive banter actually felt nice. It was familiar. Normal. Things would be just fine and go back to normal soon. At least Sif sincerely hoped they would.


	5. Naked truth

Loki hissed as he made circles with his hands, icy blue sparks replace the familiar green. "Come on…. Come on!"

"Loki!" Sif exclaimed. "You are making it colder in here!"

"Then by all means, put on another blanket," Loki growled. He grabbed one of the blankets that Fandral had brought and hurled it at Sif's face, making her stumble backwards.

"Brother-" Thor began.

"I am _trying_!" Loki cut him off. "Can you not see that? I have tried shape shifting and now I am attempting a glamour. Both just come out as ice!" His voice rose with his frustration.

"Perhaps you could take a break, for a while at least?" Sif pleaded, shivering. "It is cold as Jotunheim in here."

Loki glared at her, and Sif huffed.

"Well, for your information, I find it to be quite hot in here," Loki informed them. "As it happens, you can just put on an extra blanket, while I would have to strip, which I don't believe is something that any of us want."

The door opened, making everyone tense, but it was just Fandral carrying a stack of books. "Behold, I have found them!" he announced. "I must say, getting the one Loki was working with in his own chambers was quite the feat. His rooms were overrun by Einherjar trying to discover how the Jotunn got in, and well, you know… where the prince went… how no one noticed." He deposited the big pile of books on the floor with a thud.

Loki snorted but stopped his spell casting for now as he reached for the books. Selecting the one he had been using on the previous evening, he flipped through it and at last opened to the correct page. "Alright… Surely, I did something wrong. I must have," he muttered, looking over the spell. "Lay bare your true potential…" Then he halted, looking up with wide eyes.

"Loki?" Thor asked.

"This book is useless," Loki seethed as he tossed it away and reached for another. "It is full of nothing but lies! It tricked me!"

"It is unlikely that the book is to blame," Hogun pointed out.

Loki, however, turned away, hiding the tears in his eyes and then swept them away with the back of his hand.

"You will discover the answer, Brother…. I'm sure of it." Thor smiled lightly. "If anyone can, then it is you."

Loki was quiet. Too quiet.

"Your Highness?" Fandral asked, only for Loki to sneer:

"Be silent! Unless one of you idiots can contribute something useful, you might as well leave!"

Sif raised an eyebrow. "Do you not believe this attitude of yours is behind at least some of your issues?" Loki snarled in reply, and Sif scoffed. "We are only trying to help you."

"Loki is right, though. At least we can make ourselves useful," Thor stated as he picked up a book, turning it over in his hands. "What am I looking for exactly?" he asked, and Loki groaned.

"You are holding a book on the basics of transformation. I am currently stuck in this form. We are looking for a way to get me unstuck," Loki pointed out.

"Ah…" Thor opened the book then halted. "I… I'm afraid I am not smart enough for this one," he admitted then put it down and picked up another. "Huh, Jotunn biology. This, I believe I can handle," he commented as he sat down with the book, actually studying. Out of all the things that had happened in the last twenty-four hours, surely this was the most surprising.

And so, the studying began. As the day passed on, Loki's mood didn't improve at all. When he became frustrated, snow would appear inside the room, much in the same way that thunder would come when Thor got angry. Neither seemed to have much control over this.

Sometimes Loki would grow quiet. Then he would get snappy. Sometimes he would even throw books. As the hours dragged on, it seemed that he got increasingly more frustrated. He clutched his head, pulling his hair and yelling as once again the sun began to sink outside.

"Loki… all will be well," Thor assured him again, for what must have been the five thousandth time.

Loki hissed and squinted his eyes. He held his head. "It's not true…. It cannot be true…."

Thor and the other four blinked, confused.

"There must be something in here!" Loki roared, snatching a book, opening it, and then thrusting it aside. "In here? No, here!" Franticly, he picked them up one after the other, books he had already gone through, some of them twice.

"Loki, calm yourself," Volstagg boomed.

"I shall not!" Loki shouted, releasing a great gust of icy wind. The force of it knocked them down. Then suddenly, there was quiet. Quiet as Loki stood in the middle of the group of startled friends, tears falling down his face. "Do you not understand?" he asked. "Do none of you see?"

There was only confusion on their faces.

"Transformation…" Loki sniffed, "normally wears off." Trembling, he looked at them. "You need to actively feed it magic…. Somehow, I feel… I am certain that I have more magic in this form, not less." He swallowed. "The original spell was intended to reveal my true potential…. This is what it revealed. I… I didn't curse myself. I broke the spell placed upon me." He fell to his knees. "It's not true…. It's not true." He held his head. "It's not true!"

There was stunned silence as the others in the room tried to take in what Loki had said. Then suddenly, Thor shook his head.

"Don't be a fool, Loki. That is impossible. You are my brother," Thor proclaimed.

Loki swallowed thickly as he looked up. "Thor… I don't like being touched."

"So?" Thor asked.

"On Jotunheim, it is considered very rude to touch someone outside of your immediate family. It is the opposite of Asgard."

Thor's eyes widened.

"Jotunns, unlike Asgardians, prefer solitude…. In their eyes, the loud parties of Asgard are disguising, even barbaric…. I don't like those parties. They are too loud for me, too many people…. I prefer solitude."

Thor shook his head. "No… What are you saying? Do not say it."

Loki sniffed. Then he gave way to sobs. "Jotunns…" his voice broke, "…are particular about their food… unlike… unlike…" He couldn't even finish. "I was always different!" he cried. "You _all_ knew it! Everyone in this room… You knew I was different from the start! I was _always_ different! It's because… It's because…"

"I said do_ not _say it!" Thor shouted.

"I am Jotunn," Loki finished.

There was absolute quiet, except for Loki's muffled cries.

"No! NO! It is not true!" Thor roared, lightning escaping his body. "You are my brother! MY BROTHER!"

"For all we know, I might have been exchanged at birth. There could be another Loki on Jutunheim thinking he is Jotunn," Loki pointed out, still shaking.

"I do not care!" Thor spat. "If there is, I don't want him."

"Or I am stolen war goods," Loki conjectured. "Or a bargaining tool."

"Cease this foolishness!" Thor screamed. With a cry, he picked up a table and flung it into the wall where it smashed. "You are my brother!"

Loki broke before them, crumpling to a sobbing heap on the floor. That seemed to make Thor go quiet, his body shivering too as he fell to his knees. Everyone was shocked. All they could hear was Loki's muffled sobs. There was no way this was an act. Loki's emotions were too raw, too real. And his words?

Ashamed, Sif squinted her eyes. It was true. She had noticed Loki was different even though she had never said it out loud. In fact, she had never thought much about it, just known on a subconscious level that he was strange and different. This was the first time any of them had realized how self-aware Loki was of that very fact. The first time they had heard it spoken aloud and with so much pain. Pain that wasn't new at all. It had always been there. Now, though, this burden had finally become too great, and the pain had come boiling to the surface at last.

"Is… is that how you really feel?" Sif finally dared to ask. "Like you are-"

"Why?" Loki whispered. "I don't want to be different. I want to be like you!" He looked up with wet eyes. "Why can I not be like you? Any of you?"

It was such a childish sentence, and that was also what made it so sincere. Suddenly, it became clear what Loki truly felt and how it was eating him from the inside out. All day, every day. It was just now, when he had been pushed to this extreme that the words came out. And now as the words came out, the others understood, if only a little bit.

"I do not belong here at all. I am from… from…" Loki sniffed, unable to finish the sentence.

"Loki…" Thor reached a shaking hand for him. "Please… don't leave," he begged. "I need you here! I don't care. Do you understand? You cannot go! You're my brother!" His voice was trembling, and his urge so very real as his hands reached out for Loki, desperate, simply desperate to reach him, to touch him. "My brother!" his voice broke.

"I do not want to go," Loki sobbed. "How could I? Jotunheim is an awful place!"

Thor shuddered as he pulled back his arms. "Loki… I…"

Loki swallowed.

"Would you permit me… to hug you?" Thor asked.

Loki looked up. "Why would you even ask permission for that? You've never done so before."

"Because… you don't like being touched." Thor swallowed. "But I want nothing more than to hug you," he bawled.

Loki sniffed, then gave Thor an affirmative nod, and Thor crawled forward and wrapped his arms around Loki in a tight embrace. "I shall not let them take you," he stated. "They will not take my brother away from me!"

"We shall defend the prince!" Volstagg stated, and the other three all nodded, standing in proud, straight formation.

Loki peered over Thor's shoulder. "Are you truly that stupid?" he asked. "Do you not understand? If I am not even Aesir, that means…" He swallowed. "I am no prince of Asgard…. It's a lie… _Everything_ is a lie."

"Yes, you are a prince of Asgard!" Sif stated firmly. "In our eyes, you are. Nothing has changed."

Wide eyed, Loki looked up, and Thor turned his head as all four warriors knelt before them. Loki swallowed. He had no idea if they were doing this to appease Thor or genuinely out of a sense of duty. However, he could not deny that he was touched, so he offered them a nod.

"Prince Loki," Fandral then spoke, "asking for permission to hug."

Loki offered them a short nod. "You may hug," he stated, and all four of them leapt forward to joining the big group hug.

Loki squirmed a bit in the middle. As usual an uncomfortable tingle ran up his spine, but soon he relaxed. They all retreated, smiling lightly. Even Loki smiled a bit as he dried his eyes, but it was short-lived as his sobs returned.

He was still shaking. His world was in a tumult. If this were true, then everything had changed. Everything he thought he knew was a lie. Who was he? Why was he here? Where did he come from? It felt like he was stumbling down a hole and falling endlessly. The ground under his feet had vanished. But he could not deny that it helped having such a rock beside him to cling onto. Indeed, Thor was that rock right now, holding him tight, stubbornly refusing to let go. The big, dumb oaf.

* * *

Edited by Serpina Silver


	6. Return to self

Thor cradled Loki in his arms as his brother rested. Even through the blanket between them, the contact had brought an uncomfortable chill to the elder prince's skin. He didn't care though. He didn't want to let go.

Not his brother. Not his brother.

Again and again, he tried to go over what Loki had said with such desperation in his voice.

_I am different! I have always been different!_

Pulling Loki's sleeping body closer, Thor closed his eyes. He hated that they needed to use a blanket to separate their bodies to prevent frost bite as they shared the only cot in the room. So, this is what Loki thought? Thor had never heard Loki say anything like that before and certainly not with such a desperate yearning in his voice, such raw pain.

Sure, he would often complain that people didn't like him, but Thor had always laughed it off. He didn't believe it. Loki was wonderful. He was smart, funny, way too cleaver, playful, diligent, loyal, dedicated to his family… How could people not like him?

Jotunn? Unthinkable! The horrible Frost Giants who's only wish was to see Asgard gone, who had killed so many innocent Asgardians in times past… Loki wasn't one of them. Not Loki.

Even as Thor held his brother tight, Loki did not wake up. No wonder really. He had been awake for an entire day, an entire night and then an entire day again. Scared out of his mind. Thinking he was a Jotunn long before anyone else had caught on. That was the cause of his sarcasm and his violet outbursts alike. He had realized the truth and then tried desperately to find another explanation.

It could not be true though. What did it matter if Jotunns didn't like being touched as Loki didn't? Mere coincidence. So what if they preferred solitude to loud parties? Even if that was typical Jotunn behavior rather than typical Asgardian behavior, Loki was Loki. Suddenly a thought struck Thor like lightning. It didn't matter if Loki was a Jotunn or an Aesir. Loki was still Loki.

Thor smiled as his heart warmed. Loki stirred a bit, then groaned as he turned his head, and two ruby red eyes looked at Thor.

"Sorry." Thor moved a bit away.

"It's alright," Loki informed him as he laid down again. "I never meant to imply that you cannot touch me…. It was nice that you asked though," he admitted, laying his head back down. "It does not feel so bad when I know it's coming so… thank you."

"Loki," Thor swallowed. "Even if you are Jotunn… it makes no difference."

Loki was quiet.

"If you are Aesir or Jotunn, it matters not. You are still Loki," Thor went on with a more secure tone.

Finally, Loki turned his gaze to meet Thor's. It was hard to read Loki's face here in the dark. His red eyes were visible; that, however, didn't make them any easier to read. "Am I, though?" he asked.

"Yes!" Thor exclaimed. "You are Loki, the mischievous one, the nightmare of the nurse maid, mother's protégé, my brother."

Loki swallowed.

"Do you realize the strangest thing about all of this?" Thor asked and Loki shook his head. "Whoever did this to you… Whoever brought you here and dressed you up as an Aesir… I cannot hate that person. I am thankful. They allowed me to have an amazing brother and-" his voice broke, "I don't want anyone else. You're the only brother I need."

Loki's lips tipped upwards a bit. He couldn't stop it as tears slipped from his eyes.

Thor swallowed. "Loki… do you really feel so different?"

Loki nodded slowly. "I am very different. You know that too. Do you not?"

"Well… I…" Thor halted. "I have always found that endearing… interesting," he admitted. "You weren't like everyone else. I suppose I never thought much about it."

"I wish that I were more like the others," Loki admitted. "I… I wish I could enjoy the group hugs and the big brawls. I wish I enjoyed those parties. I always attend. I want to be like you, but I hate every moment of it. I despise being so different. I've often wondered why I do not like the things you do… what is wrong with me." He halted. "Well, I now have the answer…. I am Jotunn."

Thor swallowed. His chest was aching. He tried to find words, and as he spoke them, he stumbled across them. "I… I am glad you are not like everyone else, but just as you are. You would not be Loki if you acted any differently than you do now," Thor stated then rolled onto his back.

"You think me odd too, do you not," Loki asked, "for not wanting to be in any of the brawls?"

"No… I think you are smarter than the rest of us," Thor informed him. "Loki… in the future… if there are things you don't want to do, please tell me. I swear, I shall not think you odd. You're just… _you_."

Loki swallowed. Then Thor reached out and grabbed Loki's hand.

"I do not _want_ you to be anyone other than you! _You_ are my brother. Whatever the future brings, we shall face it together. As brothers," Thor assured him. Then he noticed the hand he had taken hold of. It wasn't cold as ice. He turned and saw Loki's pale face, his skin nearly white, his eyes sparkling green. "Loki!" he gasped. "You're…"

Loki gave a grim smirk in reply. "Basics of magic… Magic is tied to your emotions. I had no control over my own emotions. I was…" he halted, "panicking, so I could not control my magic…. I am better now."

"Thank the Norns." Thor exhaled deeply, dropping back down. Then his eyes widened, and he sat up. "N-not that I mind the blue look! It's just having the palace trying to… you know… hunt you. That is not good! But if they were not doing that, I wouldn't… I mean…"

Loki tilted his head. "Was I truly so ugly in your eyes?"

"What? No!" Thor shouted, and Loki frowned. "Honestly, you just looked like… well, yourself. If that is what a Jotunn really looks like, that is… underwhelming. N-not that I think that." It was clear that Thor was only digging himself a deeper pit in trying to escape his own jumbled words. Loki smiled, amused.

Thor laughed a bit awkwardly. Loki turned back, dismissing their previous conversation, returning to the topic at hand.

"One thing is perfectly clear," Loki breathed. "I… I shape shifted away from my true form. I can feel it… my magic is weaker in this form. It feels more constricted. This…" His eyes turned misty again. "This is not my true form."

Thor's hand tightened around Loki's. "What does it matter? I already informed you, you are still Loki."

Loki smiled lightly. "You are an utter oaf."

"If I were not, I wouldn't be Thor, the God of Thunder!" Thor proclaimed. "Brother of Loki!"

Loki smirked. Then he turned to his back. "Well, perhaps now that I have regained control of my shape shifting, we should return to the surface… so the guards stop believing me dead."

"It can wait," Thor shrugged.

"They might be sending entire platoons out into the wilderness to look for me… Perhaps they will even go to Jotunheim. This could be a political disaster…. Father wouldn't like that."

Thor sighed deeply. "Fine."

He sat up on the cot, then looked down at the floor where the warriors three and Lady Sif were all sleeping. Loki had assured them all that they could go home. They had all elected to stay. Loki swung his feet to the floor and walked over to Sif, kneeling and giving her shoulder a firm shake.

"Urgh," Sif groaned, then looked up. "Loki?"

"Come on. We are getting out of here," Loki informed her as the other three started to stir.

"Loki… you are no longer blue," Fandral commented.

"Fandral, you are as observant as ever, I see," Loki snorted. "Let's get up there before they burn down half the palace in search of a Jotunn that was never there."

The others nodded as they got up, stretching their arms and yawning. The fun had only just begun. How were they going to explain any of this?

* * *

_Edited by Serpina Silver_


	7. A helpful lie

It was predictable. As Loki finally emerged with the others, even though it was the middle of the night, there were still guards patrolling all throughout the palace grounds. When they sighted him, a shout rang out:

"Prince Loki!"

Several Einherjars sprinted toward them and knelt at their feet.

"You are well!"

"We thank the All Father's grace!"

Loki sighed. "I was never in any danger to begin with," he informed them. "I merely traveled to the waters of serenity outside of town to meditate. I do, however, apologize that I failed to inform anyone." He offered them an elegant bow. "I wished to be alone to reflect. I should, I see, have informed someone of my whereabouts."

Thor glanced at Loki. After so many centuries, he still had to admire how easily Loki made up and delivered the lie. It was a clever one that managed to leave Thor and the others out of any involvement. They had no need to lie themselves or keep track of any lies.

"I see. This is most fortunate," one of the guards nodded. "A Jotunn was found in your chambers, my prince. We can only believe it was an attempt on your life."

Loki nodded, holding his hands behind his back. "That is a fair assumption. And this Jotunn, where is he now?"

"We do not know, Your Highness. We combed the palace and the city but have found no sign of him since last morning when it seems he slipped away."

"Then he must have left the way he came," Loki commented. "Chances are he is back on Jotunheim now. You may end this futile search."

"Jotunheim broke the treaty!" another soldier seethed. "This is cause for war."

Thor swallowed, nervousness stealing over him. Even he could see that if they attacked Jotunheim seemingly unprovoked it would be a grave mistake.

Loki held up a hand. "The Jotunn you found in my chambers was alone, yes?"

The Einherjar nodded.

"Then what is to say he wasn't a rouge agent?" Loki asked. "If Jotunheim's court had found a way into our palace, surely they would have brought an army rather than sending a single Jotunn intruder who cannot even accomplish a simple assassination. Hel, the fool entered the chambers of the second prince rather than the crown prince. This attempt reeks of the poorly thought out plan of an amateur."

There was stunned silence. Slowly, the Einherjars nodded.

"Should we contact Jotunheim?" one guard questioned. "Ask them to hand over the intruder?"

"That would be ill-advised," Loki scoffed, crossing his arms. "That Jotunn may be an utter amateur, but he found a way to get to Asgard and into the palace. If the Jotunn court realize this, they will not hand him over readily. They will be certain to extract this valuable information from him. So, may I suggest, that you first find out how he got here. Then, when you have closed off that entrance point, you will inform Jotunheim and ask that they deliver the individual who attempted this grievous crime."

The Einherjar swallowed. One by one, the guards' eyes drifted to Thor for confirmation on these orders, making Loki's lip twitch with a bit of annoyance.

"Er… yes, do as he said," Thor informed them. "Go. Inform the others that my brother is safe and sound and follow his instructions to the letter."

They all nodded and then went on their way, shouting the news.

Loki sighed deeply, holding his forehead. Political disaster averted. Thank the Norns! Hopefully they could cover this up for their parents too. Loki really had no desire to make up any excuses to them.

"Brother," Thor spoke quietly, "you are incredible."

Loki turned to look at the others whom all seemed slightly shocked.

"I… I had no idea what to say," Sif admitted. "I could not stop my own body from shaking, let alone come up with answers to their queries."

The other three nodded in agreement.

Loki pointed at himself. "Liesmith," he said simply. Then he halted. "I suppose… another Jotunn trait." He swallowed. "I…"

Thor shook his head then placed his hands on Loki's shoulders. "A great gift, which has just saved us all yet again," he stated, making Loki glance up. "I admit it is… not quite in keeping with the honor codes of Asgard." He smiled lightly. "But you just averted great disaster with a few well thought out words. Be proud, Brother."

"I admit, I feel conflicted," Sif said. "Lies, as a rule, are dishonorable. However, if they had attacked Jotunheim for… for this… I don't think I would be able to bear it. They are barbaric, yes, but when we attack it must be for the right reasons."

"Well, perhaps not barbaric per se," Hogun put in. "Different from us." He looked at Loki. They all did, making Loki step back, feeling nervous.

"I won't pretend that I understand much of this," Volstagg shook his head. "Being different is no crime, and it should not be treated as one! Still, it is… strange."

Loki glanced down. "I am different…. I was always different," he breathed then looked up. "But even so, in these last hours you have helped me in my time of need. I thank you."

There was stunned silence followed by light smiles all around.

"Always," Sif affirmed, and Loki nodded his head then turned back to walk towards his own chambers, quickly followed by the others.

* * *

_Edited by Serpina Silver. _


	8. Hopeless

As Loki entered his chambers, he took one short glance around, cataloguing all the items that had been cleaned up for him in his absence. He knew that several pieces of furniture, and the items on top of them as well, had fallen down. Those had all been picked up and put back into order. The room looked unremarkable, as if nothing had happened. The ice too was long gone, melted and mopped away.

With a sigh, Loki trudged to his bed, flopped down on his stomach, and then didn't move. Thor hesitated a bit but then sat down next to the bed. Sif and the warriors three followed his example. If Loki noticed, he didn't react. He just lay still.

As Thor woke the next morning, he saw that Loki was still lying just like that, flat on his stomach, fully dressed. It really didn't look like he had moved an inch.

Thor cleared his throat. "I believe it will soon be time for the morning feast," he stated.

"Then go," Loki murmured.

"We all need to go," Thor said.

"I'm not hungry," Loki replied.

Thor was quiet for a moment as he looked at Loki. Then he cleared his throat again. "I can bring you something if you wish."

"No thank you," Loki muttered.

Thor and the others blinked and looked at each other then back to Loki.

"Loki, you are being rude," Sif informed him.

"I do not care." Loki rolled over so that he was lying on his side with his back to them. "Leave me!"

Thor sighed. "Might I ask one of you to fetch food for my brother and I?"

"Indeed." Volstagg stood up.

Fandral followed. "Any desires, my prince?"

"Loki prefers fresh fruit and herbal teas for his morning feasts. Bring that," Thor requested.

"Yes, my prince." Volstagg and Fandral bowed and left.

When they returned, Loki still hadn't moved. As they put down the items, he didn't acknowledge them. He stayed as he was, still and silent. As the day wore on, this continued. When Loki finally did say something it was in curt, rude and nasty replies, and still he refused to move from his place on the bed.

By late afternoon, Thor was caught somewhere between impressed and worried. His brother had managed to lie still for most of the day. It seemed like he was going to continue, potentially for days if he was allowed to. He refused to even touch the food they brought him.

This didn't change as dinner was brought that evening. Thor had thought he was being clever when he sent Hogun to town to buy some sugarcoated almonds, which he knew for a fact were Loki's favorite treat. Even the almonds couldn't tempt him. They just sat in their bowl beside Loki's bed. Untouched.

On the second day, nothing changed. Even when Fandral had approached and poked Loki with a stick, Loki hadn't moved. He hadn't even sneered a nasty reply, just lay motionless.

The third day arrived. By this time, it was getting ridiculous. Didn't Loki need to use the lavatory or something? Was this even physically possible? Had Loki turned himself into a plant and made roots in his bed?

"Brother, you must eat!" Thor demanded as he stood with a plate with fruits and pieces of bread for Loki's breakfast that day.

Loki didn't reply, just lay there, as usual.

"The fruit is freshly harvested, and the peaches are ripe," Thor informed him, pressing the plate towards Loki's face. Loki didn't move.

Thor swallowed. This was even worse than when Loki was angry. He was just lying there with a dead look in his eyes, his body limp, his face expressionless.

"You have not eaten for days! Surely you must be famished by now," Thor prodded.

Loki gave no reaction. None whatsoever.

Sif swallowed. "I… I take it back. I wish that he were being rude to me," she admitted.

The warriors had started to take turns. Thor had been with Loki for the majority of the time. He barely even left. The warriors, though, knew they had to keep up appearances, so they covered for Thor and Loki, claiming Thor was out to do some sword practice and Loki was out meditating or searching for the way the Jotun got into the palace.

"Loki!" Thor yelled.

Slowly, Loki's eyes moved, glancing up at Thor. Then he returned to starring into nothingness. Thor frowned. A determination came over him as he put aside the plate. Then he grabbed Loki's arms and pulled him up. Loki was limp as a rag doll.

"Loki!" Thor tried to shake the limp figure, only for Loki to glance up and then down again. Thor hissed, "You have brought this upon yourself!" With that, he flung Loki over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Thor, what are you doing?" Sif asked.

"Taking Loki outside. This is not good for him," Thor proclaimed.

That finally got a reaction out of Loki, "What?"

"Oh, so you are not dead? That is indeed good news, Brother," Thor stated.

"Where are you taking me?" Loki demanded. "You cannot do this! I must look ridiculous over your shoulder!"

"You should have thought of that before you refused to get up on your own," Thor informed him briskly.

"Unhand me!" Loki shouted, his arms flailing. "I refuse to leave this room! Thor!" He started hammering on Thor's back. Thor only laughed.

"So, you have awakened from your slumber at last, Brother?" Thor boomed. "This is a joyous occasion. We shall celebrate with breakfast in the gardens. _Outside!"_

"You… you big dumb oaf!" Loki screamed from Thor's back as Thor simply walked to the door and kicked it open, then walked out, carrying his protesting brother all the way.

Thor grinned. "Behold my genius! It worked. Loki is outside of his room."

"Put me down this instant!" Loki yelled, once again pounding at Thor with his fists. His weak blows had no effect.

Sif smiled. "I agree. An excellent idea." She picked up the plate with Loki's breakfast. "Shall we?"

"Aye," Thor nodded as he trotted towards the gardens with a complaining Loki over his shoulder.

Eventually, as Thor walked Loki gave up and laid heavily across Thor's back as they made their way out into the gardens, followed by Sif. When they came to a bench beside the lake, Thor put Loki down, only to earn a sudden glare. It was a very welcome glare. Anything was better than Loki's previous catatonic state.

Thor grinned as he picked up a piece of fruit. "Now say ahhhhhhh."

"Thor, I am not a baby!" Loki shouted. "I can eat my own cursed food!"

"Really?" Sif asked. "Then what's stopping you?"

Loki glared at her.

"Loki, if you do not eat, we shall be forced to make you," Sif informed him.

Loki pursed his lips, his eyes shooting daggers, which didn't have much of an effect when Sif wanted this behavior from him. It was better than the pure apathy from a short while ago.

Finally, he reached for the fruit and stuffed it into his mouth in anger, chewed and swallowed. "There. Happy?" he asked.

Thor's beaming face was answer enough, and Loki groaned but reached for another piece of fruit and ate it more normally. "You are both fools," he grumbled. "Why are you still here?"

Sif opened her mouth.

"Ah yes, duty bound to protect the royal family." Loki snorted, sucking his fingers, and Sif closed her mouth again. "But I am not of the royal family, remember? I'm not…"

"Loki," Sif said softly, "we grew up together. We have known each other since neither of us could form a proper sentence. In a way, that makes us family." She shook her head. "You are much like an incredibly annoying brother to me. I cannot merely let this go."

Loki was silent then turned to Sif.

"Now that I say it aloud… it feels truer than ever," Sif smiled amused.

Loki swallowed, then turned his head away. It was too late though. Both Thor and Sif had seen the tears that now slowly fell down his face, but Loki reached for more fruit and ate in silence. "Siblings are annoying," he muttered.

Sif nodded. "Agreed. Can I get you something?"

Loki hesitated. "I would like a cup of tea," he said. "Lavender, if they have any."

"With one drop of milk, no sugar, carefully mixed. I know," Sif assured him as she rose. "The thing is about siblings… you are never free of them. They will never leave you alone, especially not at a time like this. So, if you wish for my advice, accept it." With that, she walked away.

That left Thor and Loki alone. Thor cleared his throat. "Loki… are you… Are you hale?" he finally asked.

"I think it quite obvious that I am not," Loki commented, eating a piece of fruit.

"Ah," Thor nodded. "Yes, that… erhm. What ails you? I mean… What is on your mind? That is, if you want to tell me… I mean…" He halted.

Loki swallowed. "I am frightened, Thor," he admitted. "As I lay, all of these thoughts kept running through my head… Am I a weapon? A bargaining tool? Why this lie? Who? Why? Any explanation I came to more horrible than the last… I do not like this!" He squinted his eyes. "What does this mean? Who am I?"

"I told you, did I not?" Thor asked. "You are Loki! The nursemaid's worst nightmare, mother's protégé, my brother."

Loki smiled lightly. Then his smile faltered. "I believe… I believe Mother knew about this. That is why she didn't want me to use the spell. She knew but did not want me to discover the truth. Why?" He asked, looking up. "Am I not supposed to find out? What are they going to do to me if they realize that I know?"

"Nothing! I won't let them," Thor declared.

"What if it is Father who decides that—" Loki began.

"I do not care!" Thor cut him off. "Even the All Father and the All Mother cannot take my brother from me!"

"You would go against the All Father?" Loki asked.

Thor nodded without hesitation. "Aye."

Loki shook his head. "You truly are an oaf."

"Aye," Thor agreed. "That is why I need you around. I am not very good at the thinking side of things."

And Loki snorted, so much he nearly spit out the piece of fruit in his mouth. Thor beamed, very pleased with himself.

Mission successful.

* * *

_This chapter has been edited by Serpina Silver_


	9. A game of cheat

During the rest of the day, Loki's mood was something Thor would consider an improvement. Anything was better than him just laying on his stomach refusing to move. At least now Loki was attempting to act normal, picking up a few books to study, and attending some of his lessons. Both Thor and Loki had missed out on the last few days of lessons, and they both received their appropriate scolding.

However, it was clear that Loki wasn't well. He often shut himself off only to hiss at people before growing quiet again. Then he would sit in an odd silence, holding his book but not actually reading it. When someone said something, he would fly off the handle, and only Thor and his friends knew why. Eventually, Loki would apologize and walk off to some lonely room.

In the evening, Thor found him sulking in one of the palace's many studies and had simply grabbed Loki by the arm, pulling him along.

"Release me!" Loki demanded. "I do not need anything!"

Loki had no choice though, as Thor pulled him into his own chambers. There were the warriors three and Sif, sitting in a circle. In the middle was a stack of playing cards as well as some snacks. Loki looked at Thor.

"You were never able to say no to a game of cards," Thor smirked at Loki.

Loki scoffed, looking over the setup. Sif patted the empty place beside her, and Loki sighed but finally gave in and sat down.

"Do try not to cheat this time," Fandral chuckled.

"It was one time," Loki proclaimed.

"Was it really?" Hogun asked.

"Well, it's hardly cheating when you are not being caught," Loki said as he crossed his arms. Then he halted, grew quiet, and his head bowed as he squinted his eyes.

Thor sighed. Right. Jotunns were known for being cheaters, among many other things that Asgardians found disgraceful. They were also known for tearing the heads off their enemies, drinking blood, and never bathing, none of which seemed like Loki.

"I believe I have the perfect game," Thor said. "It is called cheat." They all turned to him. "I… learned this game in Vanaheim some years ago. It was most enjoyable then."

Loki frowned. "If you thought as much, why did we never play it?"

"Because you would win every round," Thor sighed. "I have a terrible poker face."

"Do you pity me so much that you are giving me a win to make me feel better?" Loki asked.

"No," Thor shook his head as he shuffled the cards. "This is a game where you are _supposed_ to cheat. Thus, you won't be breaking the rules, and no one can accuse you of deception."

"Ah. You just assume I always cheat then?" Loki ground out.

Thor frowned, annoyed. The others were too. Loki was not taking this well. It was clear that Thor was struggling. His temper was rising as he closed his eyes, his body tense. Holding back his temper was not something in Thor's skillset. Finally, he exhaled. "Try it. I am certain the game will amuse you." He smiled, though the smile seemed forced. Thor looked like he was a hair away from snapping.

Loki scowled but realized he had no choice as Thor handed out the cards and explained the rules. As they began, Loki hated it… hated to admit that it was pretty fun getting the better of the others. Soon Thor relaxed too and laughed as the others shouted in frustration as Loki revealed his hand, proclaiming his first win.

Then suddenly Hogun had the upper hand and he let out a shout pointing at Loki in triumph. That only made Loki chuckle, genuinely amused and promising payback.

Eventually, his previous sour mood was nearly forgotten as the refreshments vanished and the game continued. Loki was declared the undisputed master of the game, having won eight out of ten games. Of the other wins, one fell to Hogun and the other to Fandral.

"Did you just let me win?" Fandral asked in a teasing voice.

"I did not," Loki snorted. "I was dealt a bad hand."

"Right," Sif rolled her eyes.

"Loki, it just occurred to me… You changed back on your own," Fandral commented. "Can you change into Jotunn form again on command?"

Loki froze then turned to him. "Why… why would I do that?"

"Think of how useful it could be," Fandral said. "If we were to venture into Jotunhiem, you could sneak behind enemy lines, scout the area with no fear of being shot down. And when the summer days are truly hot, you can cool down the room."

Loki blinked at the utter absurdity of that last use of his Jotunn powers.

"I hear Jotunns see better in the dark," Hogun put in. "Is this true?"

"I…" Loki paused. "I'm not certain. I didn't take notice of my eyesight when I was..." He swallowed. "Now that I think about it though… I could always see where I was going so… perhaps?"

"It was impressive ice magic, even when you were panicking," Volstagg had to admit. "I can only imagine what you would be capable of if you were to truly train it."

Loki looked at his hands, then glanced up only to discover pure intrigue in the others' eyes, as if they had been gifted some magical relic. He shifted quietly.

"It's almost disappointing," Fandral sighed, picking up his playing cards. "You are told Jotunns are these big, dangerous, frightful beasts, and then it is just Loki."

Loki knew he probably should have been insulted by that, yet Fandral made it sound so normal. Just plain old Loki. The thought somehow put him at ease.

"I hope you are all aware that none can know this secret," Thor stated seriously. "I do not know for what reasons our parents have kept silent, but…"

The rest nodded in understanding.

"It would not be safe for Loki if people found out," Sif said. "Just look at how the entire palace reacted because they thought a Jotunn had gained access. They were ready to march war if Loki had not stopped them."

"Wait… that might be it," Loki gasped.

"What?" Sif turned to him.

"The All Father," Loki swallowed. "What… what if I am simply a tool to win the war with Jotunheim? What if he is raising a Jotunn as his perfect weapon?" He clutched his head. "Am I a war relic… a secret trump card to sneak behind enemy lines?" He had started to babble, almost hyperventilating.

There was stunned silence. Loki closed his eyes.

"Am I to be groomed and made ready for that one goal? To get the better of Jotunheim? Raised as an Aesir prince so that… so that what?" Loki cried. "Bu-but I am not allowed to know, because… Perhaps they need to know that I will be loyal. I know secrets, and Odin is afraid that if I found out I would turn from him and deliver Asgard's secrets to Jotunheim!" He trembled, grasping at his hair.

"Loki!" Thor shouted as he grabbed Loki's shoulder. Wide eyed, Loki looked up. "That cannot possibly be true!"

"Then what other explanation is there?" Loki asked, swallowing convulsively. "Other than a tool, a weapon, a secret?"

"I do not know," Thor admitted, "but you are not a mere tool. You are my _brother_."

Loki sucked in a breath. Then slowly, he exhaled and took another deep breath. "Yes… Indeed, we do not know why." He held his forehead. "I'm sorry." He swallowed, still a bit in shock. "A-and not just for right now. I know I haven't…" He halted. "Thank you for putting up with me."

"Well, this was not the first time and probably won't be the last," Fandral smirked.

"Yes," Sif sighed deeply. "It's the lot we have been dealt in life. I suppose we must bear it."

Loki lifted an eyebrow, but then Sif smiled, and Loki chuckled, amused. The casual banter actually made him feel part of the group, not just the usual tag along. Sure, they were still Thor's friends before his, but he was a part of it. It was nice. Even if it did take a horrifying revelation like this to make it happen.

* * *

_Edited by Serpina Silver _


	10. Mother's story

In the days that followed, Loki's mood became more stable. He was still moody, but it was not quite as noticeable. Mostly, he was just quiet. Quiet in a way which wasn't normal for him, where he would look slightly nervous and often seclude himself. But he was being reasonable, and it was clear that he was trying. This was not lost on Thor, Sif or the warriors three. They met him with kind smiles, which sometimes frustrated Loki. Other times, it made him turn his head away in quiet embarrassment.

Eventually, Loki entered the great library. He swallowed as he followed the bookshelves, looking over the spines of the books. Then he finally found it.

_The History of the Culture of Jotunheim_.

Loki looked at the book, feeling a bit anxious. He glanced over his shoulder as if afraid that someone was watching him. There was no one in his line of sight. Then, finally, in a nervous gesture, Loki reached out and pulled out the heavy volume. He hid it under his cape as he frantically looked around, making sure no one had seen him take it.

Just then, a familiar figure came running in. "Loki!" Thor shouted, wildly looking around. "Ah, there you are!" he exclaimed as his eyes landed on Loki.

Loki blinked. "What is going on?"

"Mother has come home," Thor informed him. "She's desperately looking for you."

"What?" Loki asked. "But she and Father were supposed to be gone for another month."

"Indeed, which is why we should go meet her." Thor grabbed Loki's hand only to cause Loki to drop the book.

"Oh, sorry. Let me get that," Thor offered.

"Thor no!" Loki shouted. It was too late though. Thor had picked up the book and looked at the title. Loki swallowed, his cheeks flushing deep red. Then Thor looked up and their eyes met.

"Might I borrow this when you are done?" Thor asked.

"Huh?" Loki blinked. "Why would you wish to?"

Thor's eyes on Loki were incredibly earnest, and slowly Loki offered him a nod.

"Of course," he said as Thor handed him back the book. "After all, library books don't belong to me." That made Thor chuckle as they started walking.

"I think Mother is by the training grounds. She thought you might be there," Thor said, and Loki nodded as they made their way there.

Suddenly Loki froze, clutching the book to his chest. Frigga had cut short a political stay. Word had probably reached her…

His thoughts were interrupted by a shout:

"Loki!"

Loki looked up to see the familiar figure of a beautiful woman dressed in light blue silk. She rushed to him at an incredible speed before embracing him tightly. "Thank the Norns!" she cried.

Loki blinked. "M-Mother?" he asked, quite surprised by her outburst. It was rare to see Frigga so emotional.

"I'm sorry. Forgive me," Frigga sniffed as she sat back and held Loki's face. "When I heard, I feared that…" She shook her head. "It matters not." With that, she embraced him again.

Loki stood still. His body was completely frozen in Frigga's arms. He didn't even move to return her embrace. "Feared that?" Loki asked, his voice suddenly cold. "Feared _what_?"

Frigga blinked, so did Thor. It was unlike Loki to ever speak to their mother that way. Frigga seemed astounded too as she sat back and met Loki's cold glare.

"Feared that I had used the spell you told me not to?" Loki asked, a low threat in his voice. "Feared that it would reveal my true origins and send half the palace running trying to kill me!" he roared, tossing the book at the wall.

Frigga gasped, covering her mouth with her hands.

"Or is it simply that I've discovered the truth?" Loki seethed. "Loki the Jotunn runt!"

"Loki… my darling, please," Frigga swallowed.

Thor also fumed. "I did not know…" he said, his body shaking with energy. "I raised my hammer at my brother!" he shouted. "I could have killed him! I do not even want to think of it… what he must have gone through, running the hallways panicking so much he couldn't control his own magic! How could you do that to him?"

Wide eyed, Frigga looked at them, and her sons returned her stare. Thor had never raised his voice to his mother before. Loki had never addressed her in such a cold tone. A line had been crossed, and there was no going back. Frigga's eyes were filled with tears. Then she swallowed, falling to her knees.

"I deserve nothing less than your ire," she said sadly. "I have failed you… both my sons. I have failed as your mother…. I'm sorry."

Loki crossed his arms as he looked at her. "If you truly mean that, you will tell me everything. Now," he demanded. "Who am I? Where did I come from? Why am I here?"

"You are my son," Frigga informed him as she looked up, her blue eyes, so like Thor's, glistening behind the tears. "Where else should my son be besides our home?"

Loki took in a sharp breath. "You know what I mean," he said. "You will tell us everything."

Frigga nodded. "Come, let us go to my chambers. This is no time to talk in an open hallway."

Loki nodded as he turned, starting in the direction of Frigga's chambers without even waiting for her. Thor just managed to run over and pick up the book Loki had thrown into the wall before running after them. He too ignored Frigga as he fell into stride beside Loki.

Finally, they were inside Frigga's chambers. Loki and Thor had created a united front, sitting right next to each other on a couch, both with crossed arms and severe facial expressions. Frigga looked hopelessly at them.

"Well," Loki said, "you may begin." It was the first time he had demanded anything from one of his parents.

"Loki…" Frigga tried. Then she halted. "Very well… It was Odin who found you. In the final battle of Jotunheim before the peace treaty was signed. Your father—"

Loki scoffed at that.

"Odin, your father," Frigga continued, "had fought a long and hard battle… wiped out most of the Jotunn army, forcing them to sign a peace treaty. He was on his way home from this battle when he decided to visit a Jotunn alter. He went there to pray for the lives which had been lost on either side of the battle, praying for their safe journey to Valhalla. What Odin did not expect though, was to find a small baby left alone on the cold alter. At most only a day old, and it looked as though he had yet to eat his first meal."

Loki sucked in a breath and Thor was silent.

"You are correct. This child was you, Loki," Frigga nodded. "The child was… so small and so weak, but he was fighting for survival. Odin brought him here, and the second I laid eyes on you I knew. The child I took in my arms was mine. My son. My Loki." She smiled as she seemed to hold an invisible baby. "He needed my help… so tiny, much smaller than Thor had been when he was first born. I knew then that I would do anything for this child… for he was mine every bit as much as Thor was."

At that, Loki finally softened. Thor did as well. Frigga's words were without a doubt sincere.

"However, things were not so simple," Frigga shook her head. "So many Aesir men and women had died in the battle against Jotunheim, and those left behind blamed the Jotunns. They were hungry for blood, for revenge. I could not let them touch you. I would not." She moved closer to Loki then reached up her hand and touched his face.

"Those awful stories were being spread around. People wished for a reason… a reason why their friends and family had to die. It is easier to simply call the enemies monsters. Odin tried to quell their anger, informing them that we were entering a new era of peace. They were not happy about this. They reminded Odin of his war-filled past and claimed that was what he should find pride in. They made all those songs without his consent and sung his praises. Odin's words of peace fell upon deaf ears, and to this day that remains unchanged. The people desire their brave king to stand strong and proud as a warrior. It matters not that this is no longer Odin's desire. They will not hear of it. Odin then, and also now, was tired of war, tired of so much needless bloodshed. For once in his life, he wanted something different, a path to peace. And he thought you might be a sign."

"So… I am his tool in his path to redemption?" Loki asked.

"No Loki, you are his hope for a better future. A future he was incapable of creating himself. His past, his reputation has too much blood in it. As long as he is on the throne, there will be no peace. He knows this, and it saddens him immensely, but perhaps the two of you can bring about that future. That is his hope." Frigga informed them

Loki looked up with wide eyes and swallowed. Thor was quiet as well. Then Loki stood up. He ran to Frigga who greeted him with open arms, guiding him to lay his head in her lap where he clung to her, crying into her skirts.

"I hate you!" Loki exclaimed.

"I know, dear heart. It is your right to do so." Gently, Frigga slipped her hand through Loki's hair. Then she looked up at Thor. "Do you hate me as well, Thor?"

"No… but I am still angry!" Thor informed her.

Frigga smiled. "This I deserve." She turned back to Loki. "Dearest, if there is something that I can do… I realize there is nothing that can truly be done to remedy the pain I have brought you. However, I wish to try."

"Just… be honest with me from now on," Loki asked solemnly. "I cannot trust you anymore. It is this which hurts more than anything else."

Frigga nodded, her eyes full of pain.

"Is there anything else I should know?" Loki asked.

At that, Frigga turned her head away.

"Mother!" Loki shouted.

Frigga closed her eyes. "It was… only a few weeks after Odin found you that we discovered… who it was that left you on that alter… Your father by blood."

Loki's eyes widened. "What? Why?"

Frigga swallowed. "A battle was about to be fought, a battle that would determine the victor of the war. Laufey, the king of Jotunheim decided to gift his own gods with an offering, the greatest offering you can give to ensure victory in battle…"

Loki's eyes widened. "What?"

Frigga looked sadly at Loki. "His own blood."

There was an utter and stunned silence. It felt like the room had frozen over. Wide eyed, both princes looked at Frigga as she closed her eyes and turned away.

"What?" It was barely a whisper as Loki spoke. Tried to comprehend, to make sense of it. "Laufey? The king of Jotunheim is…" Loki tried to wrap his head around it. "He… he turned me into an offering to win a war? And still he failed to win?"

"Loki," Thor breathed.

"I was… left there by my father by blood?" Loki continued, his eyes wet. "As an offering to his gods… Left to die?"

"But fate had much grander things in store for you. Don't you see?" Frigga asked gently, touching Loki's face. "Fate did not desire for you to die that day. Fate brought you to me, your mother, perhaps not in blood but in heart. For I love you, my sweet son."

Loki swallowed. Then he stepped back. "This… I… I just cannot…" he gasped. "I… I do not know anymore." His entire body shook. Then he grabbed a vase and roared as he smashed it into the wall.

Frigga did not move. She didn't get the least bit angry at Loki's outburst. Thor started to move to calm him down, but Frigga held up a hand, stopping him, shaking her head as Loki kicked away a chair, swearing in a colorful stream of language not suited to a prince. His rage was clearly real, burning from within as he screamed and kicked with no thought for what he might break. Suddenly, Thor realized what he himself must look like when he had one of his famous anger fits. It was not a pleasant thought. And Loki's rage was without a doubt far more justified than any of Thor's own temper tantrums. He could feel his own cheeks flushing deep red in embarrassment over this revelation.

Finally, Loki seemed to run out of energy. The frustration was still there, but he had no strength to carry on destroying Frigga's chambers and as such fell to his knees, crying and sobbing in frustration. That is when Frigga swooped in and embraced Loki, holding him tight to her body as tears fell down his cheeks.

"What can I do for you Loki?" Frigga asked sincerely, stroking his dark hair.

"I wish I could disappear," Loki informed her in a broken voice. "Disappear and forget all of this… At least, I wish to be alone. And yet, I have a feeling that is the one thing you two will not allow at this moment." This was said with resignation as he swallowed, closing his eyes.

"You are correct," Frigga said. "However, you may lay down. Thor and I shall not speak until you speak to us first. Rest," she instructed as she gently pulled Loki up and directed him to the couch where he lay down. Then she knelt, gently stroking his hair. "Oh, my dear child, how much suffering I have brought you," she breathed. "Forgive me."

Loki looked at her. "It hurts," he informed her. "In here." He held his hands over his chest.

Frigga bent and kissed Loki's hands where they were holding his chest. Then she moved up and kissed his forehead. "I shall fetch some lavender tea," she whispered. "Thor."

"I shall stay," Thor nodded, and Frigga smiled then walked to Thor and kissed him on the forehead. "Thank you, my beloved son. Now, allow Loki some peace and quiet."

Thor nodded, and Frigga gave him a nod in return as she headed outside. The moment the door was closed, Thor turned to Loki. "Loki?" he asked.

"Didn't you promise Mother to be quiet?" Loki asked as he turned so that his back was to Thor.

"I'm sorry," Thor looked down, and Loki sighed.

"It's alright… I am just so tired right now," Loki admitted. "You are the only family member I can truly trust with all that we have learned today."

"Loki…" Thor hopelessly tried but then stopped. Loki was not in a talking mood.

Thor watched Loki for a bit. Then he settled in a chair and picked up the book they had brought all the way from the library. The book on Jotunheim. Without saying a word, he opened it up and started to read.

* * *

Edited by Serpina Silver


	11. Professor Thor

For the first hour, Loki was granted the quiet that had been promised him. The only real sound coming from Thor was when he turned a page. Frigga had poured tea for all of them and then had brought out some embroidery she was working on. Eventually, she took Thor to the other end of the room and quietly asked about the course of events. Thor replied as gently and quietly as he could.

Loki listened intensely. He heard the entire story over again, how Thor and his friends had returned from the hunt to see guards running across the palace, how he had been informed that a Jotunn had been found in Loki's chambers and Loki had gone missing. At this, Thor's voice started to shake and continued shaking as he told how they had spent the entire night hunting Loki across the palace before finally, by the break of dawn, they figured out the truth.

By this time, Thor was openly sobbing. Frigga gently slipped a hand through his hair as he struggled to get the rest out. He explained how he and his friends had managed to hide Loki for the rest of the day and finally Loki had calmed down enough to be able to handle his magic again and turn back. Thor's voice was less shaky, but he was still sniffing as he repeated the story Loki had told the guards and how he had handled it.

"Tha-thank the Norns Loki was with us," Thor said in a broken voice. "He's… he's the only one smart enough to handle that sort of situation." He sniffed again.

Loki blushed deeply as he laid on his side with his back to the two others, trying to pretend he hadn't listened to every single word of it.

"I must give my personal thanks to your friends," Frigga breathed. "It sounds as though they came through as true friends to both you and Loki."

"Uh-huh," Thor nodded.

Loki was quiet. As Frigga and Thor returned to their spots, he had closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep. A bit more time went by. As Thor went back to his book and Frigga her own project, Loki really did start to drift off. That's when a slight knock sounded.

"Come in but quietly please," Frigga responded

The door opened and revealed Sif and behind her the warriors three.

"I am… terribly sorry to disturb you, my queen," Sif spoke quietly. "We were just wondering if Loki and Thor-" she halted at the sight of them, and the others did too.

Loki dismissed any pretense of sleeping, then slowly sat up and looked at them. Their visitors quieted.

"We talked to Mother," Loki said in a low voice. "It is true… It is all true. I'm… Jotunn." At that, his voice broke.

Sif swallowed. The others exchanged a glance.

"My queen, may we enter?" Sif asked, and Frigga nodded, allowing the four of them to come in.

It was awkward. Nobody seemed to know what they were going to say. They had already known for a while, though this confirmation felt like the final nail in the coffin. Loki grabbed his head and swallowed thickly.

"I… erhm," Sif tried. "Jotunn? That is…" She was clearly looking for a positive spin on this but failed utterly at it.

"Well, he is not much like a Jotunn," Fandral commented. "He's small to begin with and very clean. And he is so articulate. That is not like Jotunns at all. They do not excel at poetry like Loki does."

"Actually, that's not true," Thor held up a finger. "It has been known for Jotunn poets to disappear to the mountains and remain in solitude for an entire year, writing whole books of poetry, which are distinct in the way the entire book contains a red thread, almost like a story! They have been praised for the nuances they have managed to bring to these books and details which only seem to be possible because they allowed themselves the solitude to fully immerse themselves in their work. Light Elves still praise a few Jotunn works as being the only poems able to be so long but still so nuanced and interesting that they are worth their time."

There was silence, utter and complete silence. Everyone present stared at Thor.

"At least," Thor cleared his throat, "that is what I read."

Then suddenly Loki could not stop himself. "Pffff." He couldn't help it. He burst into a fit of laughter. "Hahahaha… HAHAHAHAHA!"

Confused, Thor looked at him. So did the others.

"You know… this almost makes it all worth it! HAHAHAHAHA!" Loki cried from laughter. "You should have seen your faces! Oh, thank you, Thor! THANK YOU!" he laughed as tears fell down his face.

Thor was still confused but laughter always had a peculiar effect, so he smiled too as he chuckled. "You're welcome, Brother," he said, while still having no idea what he had done. But it had to be a good thing, right? Loki was doing better.

"So, how else can you enlighten us, Professor Thor?" Loki asked, wiping the tears from his face. "What, pray tell, is the Jotunn eating etiquette?"

"Well, in Jotunheim food is scarce, so a well-prepared meal is to be appreciated," Thor informed them in a lecturing voice. "It is considered rude to talk during such a meal. You are to truly enjoy the thing which is rare. So… just stuffing your face… I think that's pretty rude too," he commented thoughtfully, a big frown appearing on his face as it looked like his head was about to explode from all the thinking.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Loki fell down on the floor. "Oh, by the Norns! Have you just learned more about Jotunn culture in a couple of hours than the last nine hundred years?" he shouted.

Thor looked a bit sheepish at that. "That… I mean… Yes."

"Odin's beard! The Thunder God is learning the wonder of books!" Loki exclaimed. "The world must be coming to an end! Beware! Ragnarok is upon us!"

"I can read a book," Thor huffed, his face growing redder by the second.

"There is a difference between reading a book and truly _reading_ a book," Loki pointed out. "Absorbing the pages, imprinting the information upon your mind, not merely skipping through but actually lingering… How was it for you? It was your first, wasn't it?" he asked innocently.

"Loki!" Thor exclaimed, his entire face deep red. Then he halted. "It was not that bad," he admitted.

Frigga, however, was beaming like her own sun. Tears were in her eyes again, but they seemed to be from happiness and relief. And now the warriors three and Sif couldn't help but laugh at it too. It was just too ridiculous. Professor Thor. Who would have thought they would ever see the day?

Suddenly, it all evolved into a minor brawl with all six of them playfully bantering and nudging each other. Then they burst into laughter. Frigga left them to their own devices. She was much too relieved that it seemed like things were going to work out fine. At least for now. 

* * *

Edited by Serpina Silver


	12. On the mountain top

When evening arrived, it was clear that Frigga wasn't happy about letting Loki go, but even she in her fiercely protective love could see there was no reason to keep him from sleeping in his own bed. That didn't stop Frigga from insisting that they eat breakfast together the next morning and spend the day looking at some spells.

His mother was being overbearing, and Loki was rather annoyed about it. Still, it was better to have him annoyed than despairing; however, as the pattern went on for a few days and Loki only grew sullener, it started to become a bit frustrating. The way he would just snap and sneer at everyone, Thor included. Thor understood, but that didn't make it any less annoying.

Then finally, Loki declared, "Mother, I wish to go on a trip to the mountains."

Frigga blinked. "Well, I suppose some fresh air will do us good."

"Alone," Loki said shortly.

There was stunned silence as Frigga looked at Loki, and Thor's eyes darted from one to the other.

"Loki," Frigga sighed. "Perhaps now is not the time."

"Mother, if I may?" Thor spoke up quietly.

"Yes, my son?" Frigga asked in a kind voice.

Thor cleared his throat. "Drinking all night and staying in the company of friends, perhaps even going on a hunt, that is how Aesir deal with distress or even grief," he stated. "That is what Aesir need in these situations."

Loki remained quiet. He really had to hand it to Thor. The Thunder God had indeed become a sudden expert on all things Jotunheim. It was extremely surprising, but Loki could not help but be grateful. There were many people Thor would go slay a beast for. Hel, he hardly needed a reason to go slay a beast, but Loki was the only one he would study for. It was nice. This proved more than anything how dedicated Thor was.

Loki had imagined he would be angry at Thor for hinting at his Jotunn heritage. For bringing up the fact that Jotunns were creatures of solitude and not loud parties, but it was nice that Thor considered it without judgement. It was just plain fact. This made things much easier.

Frigga was quiet for a while then nodded. "I see. You are correct," she said. "Forgive me. I was just worried. Perhaps it would be best if you wait until Odin returns. He desires to come home as soon as possible. He is also very worried about you."

"Actually, I would like this time before Odin returns home," Loki informed her. "Mother, I shall be going, whether I have your permission or not."

Frigga smiled. "Indeed, only you can sneak out right under my nose. Very well then." She nodded. "At least allow me to pack you some food and necessities. And please, allow us to see you off at the stables."

Loki smirked. "You worry too much, Mother. I shall not be gone long, and I won't be doing myself any harm."

"Is there not someone you could take with you?" Frigga asked.

Loki shook his head. "I wish to be alone."

Frigga nodded. "Very well."

* * *

And so, Loki's favorite horse was saddled for him, a young and slender mare, built for speed rather than strength. Her fur was deep black, her mane and tail white, and she had white socks as well. Her nature was gentle as long as her rider was reasonable, but she was not above kicking those who would slap her rear unprovoked. Her name was Brunir. A good horse would be good company on the trip.

Finally, Loki bid a polite farewell to Thor and Frigga and gently road off. He didn't need to turn his head to know that both Thor and Frigga stood there until he was finally out of their line of sight. It was a bit silly. He was serious. He just wanted to be alone for a couple of days. There was nothing more to it.

Loki headed for the mountains and rode the first part on Brunir, but then jumped off the horse to relieve her from his weight as they climbed upwards. By sunset, they were half way up the mountain, at a point where there was a beautiful view of the entire city. Loki took in a deep breath. There were no people up here, no sounds other than nature. It felt nice.

Humming slightly to himself, Loki built a fire to cook a bit of dinner. He fed Brunir her food, and as his own was done, he laid down looking at the stars while he nibbled on a skewer of meat, feeling peace entering his soul. Yet he still felt the hurt inside. It felt like a part of him had been torn apart. He blinked away the tears, but he didn't break down crying.

He thought about what had happened, what Frigga had told him. As he recalled how Thor had reacted, he smiled lightly. Thor's famous stubbornness had really come through this time. Who would have thought that Thor of all people would dare consider that Jotunns had something to offer in terms of culture? Honestly, it was incredible what Thor could do with the right motivation.

That night, Loki slept a dreamless sleep. It was peaceful.

The next morning, he packed his things and continued further up the mountain, finally reaching a place where light snow was falling, covering the ground. This is where he decided to have his more permanent camp for a few days.

In the days that followed, Loki was sometimes wandering, other times just sitting. He barely even noticed the time pass him by as his thoughts wandered and allowed him to put the pieces into place, to make sense of it all.

A few days had gone by. As Loki was sitting on the mountain side, looking across the beautiful landscape of Asgard, the city and the palace in front of him, the fields spreading as far as the eye could see, the trees and rivers, heavy footfalls sounded behind him. Loki didn't even have to turn to know who it was. He would know those footsteps anywhere. So, Odin had made his own way all the way up here just to find him.

"It is truly beautiful from up here," Odin's voice commented. "I should journey here more often, take in these things. Then, I suppose, it is so easy to take for granted what you see every day."

Loki didn't reply. He just sat with his back to Odin, his gaze fixated on the landscape.

Slowly, Odin moved closer. Then he sat down beside Loki so both their legs were hanging over the edge and out into the free air.

"How fare you, my son?" Odin asked.

Loki sighed deeply. "Better than I was."

"This is good," Odin nodded. "I'm glad."

There was a beat of silence. Loki hadn't turned to look at Odin but could feel his one blue eye on him. "So, you found me on a frozen alter?" he asked, leaning back. "And your heart bled, I presume?"

"How could it not?" Odin asked. "You were alone, no one to look after you or take care of you."

"Was it pity then?" Loki asked.

"Yearning," Odin corrected. "So many had died that day… so very many. And a good portion by my own hand. No more." He shook his head. "No more death." He sounded tired at that, old and tired.

Loki turned his head, finally looking at Odin. "You did not have to make me your son though."

Odin shook his head. "That is not how it works. From the moment I picked you up you were my responsibility. If I did not want such a responsibility, I should not have taken you."

Loki frowned, clearly not happy.

"I cannot forget though… never," Odin breathed. "I picked you up and held you in my arms. You reached up and then… of all things you grabbed my beard. It stung, but… it also made me realize that I did not want to let you go. I could not."

Loki shook his head. "Mother said something similar, filled with sentiment, both of you."

"Aye, every parent is when it comes to their children," Odin commented.

Loki couldn't resist the twitch of his lips. Then his smile faltered, and he leaned back, looking at the landscape. "And what is to come now?" he asked. "We discovered the truth. I am the Jotunn in Aesir disguise. What…" He halted. "What is going to happen to me?"

"What do you wish to happen?" Odin asked.

"I don't know," Loki turned to Odin. "I know not my purpose, who I am… what I am!" he exclaimed. "What would you have me do with any of this?"

"I am not certain," Odin admitted. "In my view, you are a unique individual in a unique position, and thus your potential is limitless." Loki frowned slightly, and Odin shook his head. "Thor's path is locked. There is only one way for him to go. You though… you can do so much more, if you desire it."

"What do you wish me to do?" Loki asked. "Whatever you wish, Father, I'll do it. I desire to please you. I want to do it! I can do it!"

Now Odin's eye held a pained expression. "Loki… your aim should not be to please me. It should never be that," he said. "It is true, I have hopes. The youths always speak so highly of war, yet they do not understand its terror. If there is any way to secure peace, I wish to find that way," he admitted. "Jotunns and Aesirs can live peacefully side by side. You are proof of that. There is hope… This is what I choose to believe."

"Father, if that was your desire, you should not have kept my origins from me," Loki said. "Both Thor and I were led to believe that when you spoke of peace you only did so because it was your duty as king, not because you wished it. Everyone else always sung of the glory of battle, the glory of your conquests. It was easy to be swept up in it all. When Thor spoke of killing them all, he did so to impress you. He didn't understand. Neither of us did. We acted out of a desire for the respect of our people. You should have spoken of this long ago!"

Odin nodded. "Yes," he affirmed. "Forgive me, Loki, for I have made you suffer a great injustice."

"You have," Loki replied, turning back to the view. He frowned slightly. "You are serious about this pursuit of peace?" he asked.

Odin nodded, looking tired. "Aye… Sometimes I start to lose hope," he admitted. "All the young warriors so wish to prove their worth in combat. They glorify what is, in truth, dark and horrible. So many times, I have nearly lost hope, but then… I gazed upon you." He smiled lightly. "Hope."

Loki looked up at Odin stunned, but then he turned back, pouting as he crossed his arms.

Odin smiled, a bit amused, then nodded, his face more serious. "Loki, I heard of how you conducted yourself since your discovery, and may I say I am so very proud. You have handled yourself far better than most would."

Loki didn't reply, but his eyes grew a bit misty. Then he felt Odin's hand on his shoulder.

"I love you, my son," Odin stated. Slowly, he let go and stood up. "When you are ready, we shall talk more over a feast. Do not be long. Your mother is very anxious," He informed him as he walked towards his own horse, and Loki turned his head.

"We could… travel together down the mountain," Loki suggested.

Odin turned. "Oh?"

Loki shrugged. "I believe I am done here," he said as he stood up, looking around. "I need only to pack my supplies."

Odin smiled. "I would be delighted to have your company on my way home," he stated. "Thank you, Loki."

"You look weary. It would be a shame if you fell into the Odin-sleep or some such moronic thing halfway down the mountain with no one around," Loki commented as he picked up his cooking utensils. Odin chuckled.

"I am truly touched by your concern," Odin replied, amused.

"Oh, and if you should ever adopt again, tell them the truth!" Loki exclaimed. "One thing I have realized these past few days… it is a deep relief to know I am Jotunn. I kept asking myself why I was so different. What was wrong with me? Over and over, I have asked why. And now it is obvious." He spread out his arms. "Nothing is wrong with me. I am just Jotunn. Finally, I have an answer. It is a relief not having to ask that anymore. Are you aware of this?"

Odin looked at Loki with sorrowful eyes. Loki, though, just gave him a look as he crossed his arms.

"A hundred years more and I might have gone insane," Loki proclaimed.

"I can only give you my sincere apology and beg your forgiveness," Odin bowed his head.

"I suppose your apology is accepted, but I have not forgiven you entirely yet," Loki informed him promptly as he packed. "That will take more time, for both you and Mother. I believed I could trust you, and that trust has been broken. Forgiveness can only come the day I am able to trust my own parents again," he stated, putting the items in Brunir's saddle bag.

"Your demand is reasonable. Thank you. For giving us another chance." Odin bowed his head.

"Well, you did raise me with love. That cannot be denied," Loki commented as he pulled himself up on his horse. "But that does not mean I can guarantee yet another chance."

"Understood," Odin nodded as he approached his own horse and pulled himself as well.

"Let us go then." Loki kicked Brunir, and they were off on their way back down from the mountain.

* * *

_Edited by Serpina Silver_


	13. Asking the hard question

Together Odin and Loki made their way down the mountain. They did not stop for the night, which meant they were riding through the dark under the open stars. There was something very nice about the quiet company as they rode down the mountain trail, a quiet reassurance. As the first rays of sun rose over Asgard, they reached the stables. No sooner had Loki gotten off his horse than Frigga rushed to him, completely ignoring Odin but embracing Loki tightly.

"Mother," Loki shook his head, "it was only a few days."

"A few days where you were alone with no one to look out for you," Frigga corrected him.

Defeated, Loki shook his head but patted Frigga on the back. "Mother, if you truly accept me as I am, you must also accept that I am in need of such solitude from time to time."

"Of course, I accept that, dear heart," Frigga assured him as she stood back. "However, that doesn't mean I cannot worry."

"Is Thor awake?" Odin asked as he too dismounted. "I believe this is a fine time for the four of us to have breakfast together."

"I thought the same," Frigga said. "I took the liberty to have it arranged in my chambers."

"As always, you are three steps ahead of me, my dearest wife," Odin smiled warmly.

It was a calm and quiet breakfast. Well, as calm as it could be with Thor there, loudly filling Loki in on what he had missed. Fandral had gotten into some sort of brawl and earned a black eye for his trouble. Thor was behind in his studies, and his teachers had become cross, so he wasn't allowed on the training grounds before he was caught up again. One of Sif's admirers had finally showed courage enough to ask her out, and she had plainly turned him down, breaking his heart. Not one word was said of Loki's Jotunn origin or even Jotunheim. It was all so incredibly normal and mundane. It was nice.

After that, things somehow continued as they normally would. Loki was also behind in his studies and also got a scolding from his tutor. It didn't really bother him though. He knew he was in the right. Thor was soon allowed on the training grounds again and would practice fighting against the warriors three.

There was something a bit different about hanging out with them now, Loki couldn't help but notice. It was odd. They were still the same people, still loud and obnoxious, and yet there seemed to be a strange bond that hadn't been there before, and also a quiet acceptance. They would no longer pressure Loki into doing things, nor would they make those small condescending allusions like before, which had driven Loki crazy.

When he walked away to be alone, they didn't chastise him for it. Instead someone would say that they hoped he would join them the next time. Oddly enough, this actually made Loki join them more frequently than he had before. He didn't mind anymore. In fact, he started to look forward to it.

Then one day Tyr the God of Strength, who was also Sif's father, asked for an audience with the king. This happened frequently. Tyr would ask for his audience, during which he would always ask the same thing, permission to attack Jotunheim. Either he thought they had acted suspiciously or he suspected them of gathering power. Odin always looked very tired when he knew he was about to have this argument. Still, Tyr was one of their greatest heroes. Even though he had lost his right arm in battle, he was just as deadly wielding his sword with his remaining left arm.

He had a grudge against Jotunheim, since three of his five children had died in the old war, including his oldest son who had been a proud warrior, from what Loki had been told at least. This was before he had been born. Sif was Tyr's youngest child and had been born during the war itself. She was between Thor and Loki's age.

As Odin readied himself for the audience, suddenly his youngest son approached him with an odd request.

"Father… may I observe Tyr's audience?" Loki asked.

Odin turned to him. "Why would you desire this?" he asked. "You have already heard Tyr's reasons a hundred times over when he is drunk at a feast."

"The drunken ramblings of a warrior are hardly what I wish to hear," Loki replied. "I would prefer to hear his sober words which I imagine he has gone over many times. I would like to hear his reasoning from his own mouth, while he is of a clear mind. Why he finds it so necessary to launch an attack against Jotunheim… He has asked for the last seven hundred years. There must be something worth hearing."

Odin nodded. "Come then, stand by my side. However, you know of court etiquette."

Loki nodded. "Do not speak if not spoken to. Do not insult unless you desire to start conflict," he stated. "I am aware, Father."

Satisfied, Odin nodded and gestured for Loki to follow him into the throne room. There Odin sat on his throne, Gungnir in hand and Loki by his side. Soon the door opened, and in stepped the proud Tyr with Sif behind him. Both walked in and knelt.

"My king," he addressed Odin then glanced up, his eyes resting on Loki. "My… prince." This was not quite as respectful. He seemed a bit confused about what a mere boy could be doing standing beside the throne.

"Rise, Tyr and our gracious maiden Sif," Odin commanded as he reached out a hand. "You have asked for an audience with your king. Speak what it is you desire."

"My king," Tyr said loudly as he stood, his good arm behind his back, the stump that was left of his right arm hanging down. "I have been informed that Jotunheim is rebuilding its fortress. They are readying for battle. We must strike so they do not become so confident as to attack."

Loki's eyebrow rose just slightly, and Odin looked tired.

"What they build, is there any proof it is for attack rather than defense?" Odin asked.

"If we allow them to build a defense strong enough, they will soon attack," Tyr insisted.

"And this defense, would it stand any chance against the Asgardian army?" Odin asked.

"At this time no, but that is why we should strike now before their power rises once more," Tyr stated.

Odin closed his one eye. He really didn't look like he was enjoying this. Loki glanced up at Odin then down on Tyr, who looked harsh and resolute.

"If I may, why are you so determined to attack Jotunheim?" Loki suddenly asked.

There was quiet. Odin turned to Loki, and so did the others.

Tyr huffed, "You are not old enough to understand."

"Silence," Odin held up a hand. "Loki is your prince, and one day he may be your king. Let him speak, and answer his questions as seriously as you would answer my own."

Tyr looked up then bowed. "My king." He turned to Loki. "Jotunns are ferocious beasts. Their one wish is to see Asgard gone. We cannot allow them to rebuild their defenses."

Loki mulled this over a bit. "So, you admit that Jotunheim is a shattered realm with barely any defenses at this time?" he asked.

Tyr blinked but then nodded solemnly.

"And you, the proud, strong warrior, decked out in the finest armor, wielding the greatest sword forged in the nine realms feel pride in stomping upon a defeated foe? The Jotunn laying by your feet, battered and broken with no armor nor weapon of his own. You stand before him and call yourself brave to chop off the head of your conquered enemy. This notion of Asgardian honor is truly impressive," he snorted.

Tyr's face flushed red. "My king, you would allow a boy who has yet to face any battle to speak such insults to an experienced warrior?" he asked. "I have earned my title! He has not, not yet."

"I shall allow it when his words ring true," Odin informed him. "Had he insulted you without cause, he would have been punished. However, he speaks the truth. You are the shining warrior having the best armor and weaponry at your disposal. The Jotunn before you is the defeated foe who has neither. It is not a fair battle, and thus there is no glory in it. Loki has looked at the situation and seen the truth then brought it to light. He has made me very proud in this instance."

That made Loki blink. Then he turned his head as he blushed a bit, smiling.

Tyr scoffed, clearly displeased.

"When I walk into battle, I desire to do it honorably!" Sif exclaimed. Then she stepped forward, making Loki look at her, and she stood right next to him with crossed arms. "I wish to defend Asgard. I wish to prove my worth. When the day comes, I wish for it to happen in the right way, with honor and glory."

Tyr gasped. "Daughter!" he exclaimed. He fumed. "The Jotunns will break the treaty. You know this!"

"Then let them break it!" Loki cried. "The day they do so, you shall be allowed to lead the troops in battle. However, by not even allowing them a chance, you have left them no choice, denying them an opportunity to prove themselves or their desire for peace."

"Do not speak in the place of our king!" Tyr shouted.

"No," Odin held up his hand. "Loki speaks for me. From now on, any involvement with Jotunheim is Loki's task. You shall listen to his words as if they were my own."

Loki's eyes widened. Even Sif looked shocked, and they turned to him.

"Th-those are king's duties," Loki stammered.

"Yes, and one day you might be king," Odin smiled lightly. "It is good preparation."

"But… Thor has no king's duties of such magnitude," Loki pointed out.

"I'm sure I can think of something. It is high time he learned responsibility as well," Odin replied.

"Ah," Loki said, though he still seemed slightly stunned as Odin stood up from his throne and gestured for Loki to sit.

"Father… I do not understand," Loki admitted.

"Any task concerning Jotunheim is now your domain," Odin informed him. "We are currently discussing Jotunheim. This is your task."

Loki's eyes widened, as did Tyr's. Then Loki swallowed. He was shaking slightly as he walked to the throne and slowly sat down, feeling very small in a seat way too big for him. Odin stood proudly next to him and so did Sif.

"Erhm, right." Loki looked up. "Tyr, God of Strength, you have come before me to request an attack on Jotunheim. As Jotunheim has made no move to attack us, and therefore has not broken the treaty they signed, our attack would mean we were the peace breakers. As long as this fact remains unchanged, you shall be denied. Also, please be warned, while you are indeed a hero and we shall continue to sing your praise, if you are caught stirring trouble with Jotunheim, that shall be considered treason against Asgard, against our king, the All Father, Odin, and against me, your prince, Loki. Furthermore, I do believe it would earn your daughter's wrath."

Sif smirked, amused.

"Walk in peace," Loki said. "I am sure that Asgard shall be in desperate need of your strength once more. Fortunately, today is not that day. Go." He waved a hand.

Tyr was clearly fuming but bowed for Loki. "My prince," he said. "My king." He turned to Odin then offered Sif one nod. "Daughter." Finally, he turned around and marched out.

Loki sighed deeply as he leaned back, only to feel a firm hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Odin's smiling face, pride radiating from his features.

"Norns," Sif sighed. "I am _not_ looking forward to going home tonight."

"Then you need not go," Loki offered. "You are a proud warrior maiden of Asgard. There is always a place for you here."

Sif smiled. "That is a very kind offer. However, I should decline at this time. My running away will not quell my father's anger, and I do love him." She fiddled with her hair. "I used to be on his side in this argument. I… wanted nothing more than to go to Jotunheim and prove my worth."

"Oh? What changed your mind?" Loki asked, looking up.

"It no longer feels right," Sif admitted. "That is all I can tell you. It's the truth." She quieted for a moment. "I would not mind staying a few hours though."

"Would you join us for dinner?" Loki asked.

"It would be my honor, my prince," Sif bowed for him.

* * *

In the evening after dinner, Loki joined the others for a game of cards. This time, they settled in a circle outside. Odin stood in his chambers, looking out the window with a smile as his sons and their friends laughed.

"Husband," Frigga walked over to him and looked down with warm eyes.

"You should have seen him today, Frigga," Odin smiled. "Determined, yet fair. And Lady Sif as well." He sighed. "I was truly afraid that the hatred of the old generation would fester in the young."

"It is because they are young that they can still change," Frigga smiled lightly, leaning against Odin. "They are indeed the future. Our hope." She looked at them with loving eyes. "Odin… we were wrong to shield them. Shielding them for too long would only make our old ways fester within them. It is now they need to be taught, now when their minds are still young and open to new things."

"As always, you are wise, my queen," Odin nodded his agreement. "Loki did seem surprised that my talk of peace was sincere."

"But he now understands your feelings?" Frigga asked.

Odin nodded.

"So, what we need is to talk to them," Frigga breathed. "They are still children, but not for long. We must treat them as the adults we wish them to become."

"Aye," Odin agreed with a little sadness in his voice. "It does seem the right time for them to have a little responsibility each."

"The relationship with Jotunheim is a bit more than a little responsibility," Frigga chided.

"Of course, I shall be in the room with Loki whenever he is in an official capacity," Odin informed her. "For now, at least."

"And Thor?" Frigga asked.

"I thought that he could be given the responsibility of overseeing this year's harvest," Odin said.

"That will displease him," Frigga commented.

"Thor needs to learn that not all of a king's duties are the grand, glorious ones. Most are dull, as he would call them," Odin stated.

"Are you giving Thor the duties you yourself wish to avoid?" Frigga asked in a teasing tone.

"Perhaps," Odin shrugged, "but it is time he learn of such things."

Frigga nodded. "A wise choice, my husband." She remained at his side, just taking in the sight of her sons enjoying a nice afternoon with their friends.

* * *

_Edited by Serpina Silver_


	14. Jotunnheim

As the years went by, things settled into a new sort of normal. More responsibilities were piled on Loki and Thor, who were both eager to prove their worth. Though, as it turned out, being in charge of anything related to Jotunheim didn't mean much aside from telling people to leave the realm alone. Over and over… and over… and over.

Loki started to understand why Odin had been so quick to put the task upon his shoulders, just to get rid of it himself. Thor seemed to have similar complaints over his new duties. They were boring. A surprising amount of both princes' time was spent telling people no.

_No, we cannot do that. No, we can't just demand that the dwarves give us weapons free of charge. No, we cannot go kill __Jörmungandr__, even if it ate your horse. You likely shouldn't have been there in the first place. Just leave the serpent alone! Stop asking me about Jotunheim! We have no cause to attack!_

It was tiresome. Being forced to be the spoil-sport, telling everyone else no again and again made it obvious where Odin's grumpy attitude came from. Often Thor would be ready to just throw away all the papers in defeat. Unfortunately for Thor, Loki knew how to get under his skin with a well-aimed, "Well, I suppose you are not suited to be king then," and Thor would get right back on it just to prove him wrong. At that, Loki would simply smirk. It was all about motivation.

Both Thor and Loki had also continued to study about Jotunheim, often in secret, as if it were forbidden knowledge they were looking for. They would spend their evenings exchanging that knowledge. The more time they spent on it the more mundane it became, until one day, after a few years, there was nothing scary about it anymore. In time, they were more scared about the people of Asgard finding out what they were doing rather than scared of doing it. The fear of finding something horrible was practically gone. Sure, Jotunheim was far from a peaceful place or very nice according to the books, but it was no longer the big, unexplained mystery which had formed inside of Thor and Loki's heads.

There was still a curiosity inside of Loki, something which he could not control. As the years went by, the temptation only became greater until one day he gave in.

That is when Odin got the news.

"My king, I feel it is my duty to inform you that Loki has left Asgard," Heimdall announced.

Odin exhaled deeply. "He has gone to Jotunheim, hasn't he?"

Heimdall nodded. "I see him now, wandering the snow-covered hills of the realm, wearing the Jotunn skin which was his birthright. He does not appear to travel with a specific aim. He is merely walking. Shall I retrieve him?" he asked.

Odin shook his head. "No," he said. "It is only natural that Loki would not be able to stay away from the place of his birth. However, keep an eye on him, and if he is in trouble, bring him home please."

"Yes, my king." Heimdall knelt for him.

* * *

Indeed, in the realm of Jotunheim, a solitary figure walked across the snow, a black cape billowing in the winds behind him. He looked up, revealing a blue face with ruby red eyes that gazed around, taking in the snow and the movement of the wind. Rim frost had caught his long, black hair, and having a body temperature so low, the ice wasn't melting. It was sticking to him as an extra layer, making his hair look pure white. What a peculiar phenomenon. Not even the books had said anything about that.

For as far as Loki saw there was nothing. It was a wasteland. There was no civilization, no grass, no living beings… no birds nor deer. Just the snow and icy winds going on seemingly forever.

Then suddenly, a figure came into his line of sight from the opposite direction. Loki glanced up to see another Jotunn coming towards him. The Jotunn was walking in a slow and steady pace, one step in front of the other. As they neared each other, the other Jotunn proved to be much bigger than Loki, who only really came up to his navel. As he wandered, he didn't even look at Loki. He just continued right past him.

Loki blinked. Hadn't the Jotunn seen him? Or had he just not considered him worthy of notice? "Erhm, excuse me," Loki spoke quietly.

The other Jotunn stopped then slowly turned his head, looking down at Loki.

"Pardon the intrusion. Is there anything in the direction from which you came?" Loki asked. "Or are you perhaps heading somewhere of note?"

A slight frown appeared on the Jotunn's face. "I wander in solitude, and I am not yet finished. Where I go or where I have been, I do not know."

"Oh," Loki blinked. So, the Jotunn had just been walking without any rhyme or reason? For how long exactly? Days? Months? Years?

"We are quite far from civilization, I gather," Loki offered him a weak grin.

The Jotunn didn't reply, just looked at him with unimpressed eyes, and Loki's smile faltered. He was starting to become convinced that he was going about this the wrong way. Perhaps he shouldn't have addressed the other Jotunn at all. This was a Jotunn wandering in solitude, and Loki had just interrupted him.

"Something for something," the Jotunn then said.

Loki glanced up.

"The halls of Ymir are not far. I'd point you in the right direction… but on Jotunheim where all is scarce, nothing is free," the Jotunn informed him, reaching out a hand with the palm upwards.

"Oh!" Loki exclaimed as he fiddled with his money belt.

"I wander in solitude. I have no need for money," the Jotunn frowned.

Loki looked up. "Then what have you need of?"

"On Jotunheim, the most precious thing we have is food. Do you have any?" he asked.

Loki nodded as he put down his backpack. Inside, he found a few pieces of jerky. He handed them to the Jotunn, who wrapped his hand around them.

"Go north," he pointed to his left. "See that mountain. Keep it in your line of sight at all times. You will encounter a great fortress. Ymir always holds parties for travelers. Unlike me, he will take your money, but be careful. I do not know from which realm you came, but Jotunns are not fond of many… unless they bring gifts, that is."

Loki swallowed. "It's… that obvious?"

"You do not seem to know the simplest of rules," the Jotunn said. "To get something, you give something. You wished a word with me. You should have presented me with what you had to offer _before_ breaking my solitude. Breaking a Jotunn's solitude without permission is very rude indeed."

"Oh… I… I am terribly sorry," Loki breathed. "What could I have done though? Should I have waved the food around?" he asked, honestly confused.

"Holding it out to me would be enough. If I accepted the offer, I would take it and you could talk," the Jotun informed him.

"Oh… Erhm, how do I address those I meet at the gate?" Loki asked.

At that, the Jotunn laid out is hand again, and Loki put another piece of beef jerky on it.

"Show your coins, but not all of them," the Jotunn said, having taken his jerky.

"Well, that last is at least a bit obvious," Loki smirked.

The Jotunn gave him a short nod. "Be warned, your size will probably grant you attention. I do not remember the last time a Jotunn of your size survived all the way to near adulthood."

"Oh, so others of my size have been born?" Loki asked.

The Jotunn nodded. "It happens… but Jotunheim is a harsh and cruel place. With so little to eat, we cannot afford such sentiment as to keep alive that which will never give something back to the realm. It is kinder to let it pass on than to let it suffer such a short and miserable life."

Loki frowned. "I am here though. I lived. And I can assure you that I am quite capable of fending for myself."

"Whichever realm you grew up in, it must have plentiful resources. Otherwise, you would not give me such high-quality food so easily," the Jotunn commented. "It would be foolish of you to believe that because you were able to survive there, you would be able to do the same here, had you been younger still… or even now, if you were left to wander on your own."

Loki bit back the rising insult and nodded his head instead. "I thank you for your advice. I am in your debt."

The Jotunn smirked, amused. "The food you gave me is worth ten goblets made of pure gold. I had the better deal. Then again, if you are hungry, gold, diamonds or other treasure are useless. Food is the true currency of this world. Nothing is more valuable."

Loki swallowed but nodded his head. "I see… I understand. Thank you." He bowed again.

The Jotunn offered him a last nod and then without even a single goodbye or other formality, he just started to walk again in the same slow, steady pace.

Loki was stunned. It was his first time, his first time actually talking to a native Jotunn and… it hadn't been anything like he would have expected or imagined. It was frightening, but Loki also found himself growing even more curious as he looked towards the mountain the Jotunn had pointed him towards, Ymir's fortress.

Loki took in a deep breath. Well, he was here to see this for himself. Better get going.

* * *

_Edited by Serpina Silver _


	15. Ymirs foretress

"Father, Mother," Thor respectfully approached his parents, who were enjoying a glass of wine in the cool of the afternoon.

"Yes, Thor," Frigga smiled kindly.

"I was just wondering if either of you had seen Loki," Thor admitted. "I wished to ask him if he would like to join the warriors three and me for a hunt, but he is nowhere to be found."

"Ah, I'm afraid it may be a few days before Loki returns," Odin informed him.

"Has he gone to the mountains again?" Thor blinked. "That is odd. He usually informs us before he goes."

Frigga was quiet, then sighed. "No dear heart, not to the mountains."

"Then where?" Thor asked.

"Loki," Odin breathed, "has gone to Jotunheim."

There was a beat of silence.

"Jotunheim?" Thor asked. "What ever could he be doing on Jotunheim?" he exclaimed, suddenly in a panic. "What does he want there?"

The look Frigga gave him was enough.

"Ah yes, not a very intelligent question. But why did he not tell me?" Thor's voice rose again. "And he has gone alone! Why?"

"My son, I do believe your reaction is answer enough," Odin said. Thor looked up, and then Odin sighed. "You must have known, as we did, that Loki was bound to do this eventually. It would be foolish to attempt to stop him."

Thor swallowed. "Is Heimdall keeping an eye on him at least?"

"He is," Odin answered, "and he has orders to retrieve Loki if the need should arise."

"The need? What kind of need!" Thor shrieked, clearly still in a panicking mood. "I… I'm going to speak to Heimdall!" he exclaimed as he turned around and ran.

Frigga turned to Odin. "Husband, I fear we shall not be seeing either of our sons for a while."

Odin exhaled deeply.

"Remember when he was so small?" Frigga asked. "When you were off to battle and he would refuse to leave the observatory, sleeping out there so he would be the first to greet you when you returned home?" She shook her head. "This is much the same. I must send blankets and food to him."

"I must admit, I do share Thor's concern," Odin said. "The world of Jotunheim is harsh and cruel. Their rules and ways are unlike our own."

"He needs to do this," Frigga breathed. "We must support him in his endeavor."

Odin nodded. "Aye, of that there is no doubt, my love."

* * *

Loki had to tilt back his head as he looked upwards, struggling to see the top of the huge fortress in front of him. It was a towering building of stone and dark wood, which, from the scent, Loki guessed was pine. The gate seemed to stretch to the sky. If Thor had been there, he would have said it very simply… _That sure is a large door_.

On the gate was a round, metal door knocker. Loki sighed. Of course, it was placed well above his head and was incredibly large. Loki had to stand on his tiptoes to grab it using both hands, and then he had to use a good portion of his strength to lift it so that he could knock.

The response was immediate as a window above was opened and a Jotunn poked out his head. "Who's there?" he shouted.

Loki was quiet as he looked up at the Jotun above him.

The Jotunn narrowed his eyes. "What trickery is this?"

"Down here," Loki informed him, and the Jotunn looked down. For a moment, he looked stunned. Then Loki held up a beautiful red gem. "A gift for Ymir," he said.

The Jotunn was silent. Then the small window was slammed shut and Loki was left alone. Slowly Loki lowered his arm. Nothing seemed to happen. Time stretched on, and all Loki could hear was the sound of the harsh winds. When least ten minutes had gone by, Loki began to consider if he should knock a second time. Suddenly, the doors opened wide, pulled apart by a very, very large frost giant.

Wide eyed, Loki looked up. This Jotunn was even larger than the one Loki had met in the snow. This one… Loki only reached to his thighs. Not only was he tall; he was also wide. His shoulders were broad, and his stomach had a bit of tub. His long, snow white hair was arranged in an array of small braids adorned with golden beads. All of his fingers had expensive looking rings on them, each at least with one shining stone. And around his neck were several heavy looking golden chains.

The very literal giant looked down, meeting Loki's wide-eyed gaze. Then a grin spread across his lips and he laughed. "Hah! So, it's true! A living lilliput. It must have been a thousand years since I last saw one of those! HAHA!"

Loki had no idea what lilliput meant. Something in the tone of the frost giant's voice indicated that it wasn't a very flattering title.

"You are Ymir, yes?" Loki asked.

"Indeed, I am," Ymir proclaimed holding out his arms, "and this is my domain!"

Loki held up the red jewel again. "A gift," he offered.

"Oh, what have we here?" Ymir asked, snatching it away. Then he held it up against the sun to have a closer look. "Svartalfheim ruby, looks like it has been cut by dwarves too, not half bad. And it even matches my eyes." He grinned.

Loki didn't reply but stood in silence.

"Well, come in, man!" Ymir proclaimed as he turned around and started to walk. Quickly, Loki ran inside before the gates slammed behind them, and Loki had to continue running to keep up with Ymir's casual walk. "Hah, a lilliput," Ymir shook his head in amusement. "You know, the last one I saw alive died when he got stepped on by one of my horses. My advice? Stay out of the stables."

Loki halted. A horse able to carry Ymir? That would indeed be a very big horse, one easily able to crush his skull with a hoof. Just then, Ymir paused long enough for Loki to look around. He saw that, indeed, they were passing fences with massive creatures inside… livestock.

"I was under the impression that food was scarce on Jotunheim," Loki blinked, looking at the creatures.

"On Jotunheim, yes, but Ymir's fortress is its own land! HAHA!" Ymir gave a sweeping gesture. "In here, where the snow wolves can't reach my wonderful stock. In here where anyone stupid enough to try to climb the walls will be shot on sight. Bandits or men belonging to jealous nobles. In here, we feast like kings!"

Oh, so this was literally a fortress, built to keep any intruders out. And if food indeed was Jotunheim's most precious currency, that would make Ymir an incredibly rich Jotunn, which explained all his glittering jewelry and even his healthy gut, which Loki could now see, looking at all the other Jotunns they had passed, nobody else had.

"So, what brings such a pipsqueak to my door?" Ymir asked, amused.

"Is it so odd that I wish to pay my respects to such a powerful man?" Loki asked.

"Haha!" Ymir laughed. "On Jotunheim, you give something to get something. Clearly, you do not lack in wealth. This jewel," He grinned holding up the ruby. "So, the question is what do you desire in return?"

Loki quieted for a moment, then looked up. "Your hospitality," he said honestly.

"Hah! That works fine," Ymir laughed. "Oh, this is what I have been longing for. I was just telling Fafner things were getting so boring."

"I beg your pardon?" Loki asked.

Ymir laughed again. "When you have everything covered, food, shelter, protection," he counted three fingers, "then what remains but to pass the time? Then suddenly, entertainment! Entertainment becomes the greatest currency!"

"So… I am your entertainment for tonight?" Loki asked, starting to figure out how this worked. He was Ymir's little circus animal right now, apparently. That's why Ymir seemed so giddy.

"Why else would I be so delighted to see you?" Ymir asked. "Your story must be interesting. You managed to survive for this long. Still a boy, but close enough."

"I'm afraid my story is not for sale at this time. All I can offer is my company," Loki informed him with a slight bow of his head.

"Well, I suppose I will have to make do," Ymir shrugged. "Oh, the last lilliput was so adorable when he had to climb up the chairs. Haha!"

Loki groaned. Okay, that he wasn't looking forward to. If he was going to be seated in a chair big enough for Ymir, he was going to look ridiculous. Which, apparently, was the exact thing Ymir was looking forward to.

One thing Loki noted was that Ymir wasn't a thing like the frost giant he had met outside in the snow. The one outside had spoken so slowly and in such a low voice. Ymir was putting Thor to shame with his bellowing laughter and wide gestures.

"Does the little one have a name?" Ymir asked.

"It is Fjaldir," Loki said, already having prepared his lie long ago.

"Good to meet you, Fjaldir," Ymir smirked, patting Loki on the head as if he was his new pet, and the sheer force made Loki bow down. Ymir didn't seem to notice though. Instead, his attention was on two dogs, which came running his way, and he laughed as he spread out his arms, allowing the wolf-like creatures to jump at him.

Loki stumbled backwards. Those things… those things were just as tall as he was! If he stood up as tall as he could, and the dogs stood on all fours, they would still be the same height. They were massive and could easily trample him.

One noticed Loki and was just about to jump after him, only to stop as Ymir grabbed the dog's collar. "Down boy! The lilliput is not your treat."

Was Ymir serious? Loki elected not to finish that thought.

"When darkness falls, may I suggest you stay inside?" Ymir asked. "Tjalfi and Njafi here run loose at night and are trained to attack any stranger who dares to enter. We never know who it was who crawled over the wall. Only the blood in the snow is left behind. HAHA!"

Loki's eyes widened. Never break into a Jotun's home. Got it.

"Stay close to me," Ymir instructed.

"And… I won't be harmed?" Loki asked.

"I can make no such guarantee," Ymir snorted. "You will be, at least, less likely to be harmed."

"Ah," Loki swallowed. "I see." Well, if nothing else, this was sure to be interesting.

* * *

_AN; I am basing Ymir on the character from Norse Mythology called. "Utgard Loki." _

_He also had some appearances in the comic books.  
_

_The reason I am not using his actual name, Utgard Loki, should be a bit obvious. Having two characters in fiction sharing a name is just confusing._

_So instead he is borrowing the name Ymir, which is also from norse mythology. But is the first living being in all of creation, the first Jotunn.  
And depending on WHICH version of Norse Mythology you read, Odin sprung out of his arm pit followed by his twin brothers Vili and Ve. Then used his corpse the build our world as we know it._


	16. The story of a spiteful woman

It was not lost on Loki that the few Jotunns he had seen thus far wore very little in the way of clothes, only small pieces to cover their privates and the occasional cape, which was just for show. Ymir was of course covered in all his jewelry and had a massive cape complete with fur trimmings, but his chest was still bare.

It did make sense, Loki mused. Jotunns didn't feel cold and as such had no reason to shield themselves from the elements. To them a freezing snow storm was like a mild breeze. It was impossible for Jotunns to die of the cold, so without the need to keep warm, why waste valuable resources on clothes?

Even with this in mind, Loki was taken aback when he suddenly realized that this applied to women as well. The Jotunn women who were serving Loki and Ymir drinks were… They… Their clothing didn't leave a lot to the imagination, gold chains resting on their voluptuous… erhm bosoms…

Loki had to turn his head away and then cross his legs. If he had been in his Aesir guise, his entire face would have been bright red without a doubt.

It didn't help in the least that Loki's earlier fear had been correct. All of the chairs here were far too big for him, making him feel absolutely ridiculous. Loki's chair wasn't nearly as large as Ymir's, but it was still massive for someone of Loki's size. Ymir apparently was big even among frost giants. The goblets were huge, so Loki had to use two hands to hold his as he struggled to drink from it. Then, of course, he failed in his attempt at not spilling the drink all over himself. Each time it happened Ymir gave a booming laugh.

"Asta," Ymir bellowed, "bring more of our best wine for Fjaldir!"

"Yes, my lord," a female voice answered. Loki glanced briefly in her direction, his eyes going wide as he had to look back for a double take.

This female frost giant wasn't like the others. Instead of the usual blue, her skin was pure white like the snow outside. It was the same shade as her hair, though that was covered in rim frost, glittering faintly in the light. It might be a different color all together, as Loki's hair too appeared white. Her eyes were red like all the others.

"Oh, so you haven't seen a pale one before?" Ymir asked.

Loki shook his head. "No, I have not. I wasn't aware Jotunns came in color variants."

"They are not quite as rare as the tiny ones," Ymir commented. "Although, that may have something to do with the tiny ones rarely living past infancy."

"That certainly would be an explanation," Loki agreed.

The white Jotunn, Asta, looked quite amused as she poured for Loki.

"Sometimes there are also Jotunns with different eye colors." Ymir grinned. "With yellow or even green eyes. Sadly, I have yet to add such a servant to my collection." He sighed deeply.

Ah, Ymir had collected this so called pale one because he viewed her as a novelty to parade around.

"You know what would be something?" Ymir asked. "A pale lilliput! That would be so rare it would be worth keeping alive, don't you think?"

Loki did not care for where this was going. Was Ymir suggesting that he should breed with this woman just so he could have a gander at the outcome? Add their offspring to his collection? Something told Loki that the big frost giant wasn't totally above that.

"Hah, would be the perfect scout too! Impossible to see in the snow like any pale one, and if it is seen, too small to hit with an arrow." Ymir chuckled over his own brilliance.

"Well, that would only be useful on Jotunheim," Loki pointed out.

"Why would I have any interest in leaving Jotunheim?" Ymir asked. "This domain is mine. I built it with my own two hands. It is only our dear _king_ who felt the need to try and claim a different realm."

Loki nodded slowly. "Midgard, yes? He intended to use the casket of winters to make Midgard into a new ideal home for the Jotunns. Expand his domain. However, Midgard was part of Asgard's domain at the time, and the Asgardians fought to protect the realm. They pushed the Jotunns back to Jotunheim, but Laufey refused to admit defeat, so the war continued for another six hundred years, until finally Asgard disintegrated the majority of Jotunheim's army and left them broken with no choice but to sign the treaty presented to Laufey."

"Oh, so you are not completely ignorant." Ymir smirked, leaning his chin in his hand.

"I've… read some history books." Loki shrugged. "You do not seem overly fond of Laufey," he observed.

"That fool?" Ymir snorted. "He got overconfident. Then when they kicked his blue behind, he refused to admit defeat or that he had made a mistake. He continued until he had no choice on the matter, and even now the fool _still_ wastes all his time plotting his revenge. He lost! But will he admit to his defeat? No! And he has dragged the rest of the realm down with him!" he exclaimed, downing his goblet of mead.

"You do not desire revenge upon Asgard?" Loki asked.

"What would be the point in that?" Ymir replied. "All those high and mighty gods… You think my walls are impressive? Theirs are much larger, and the consequences for climbing them is the same as people trying to climb in here. What really makes me sick though is their attitude," he scoffed. "Calling themselves gods? Benevolent? How easy is that when they have the grandest wall in all of the nine realms to hide behind and food enough that no one has to fight over it? Food so that armies can be well fed without issue. Attacking would only be asking for defeat. It would be much more lucrative to trade for resources."

"You would trade with Asgard?" Loki inquired.

"Why not?" Ymir asked. "If they have something I want, and I have something they want that I don't need myself, I still benefit. That is the nature of trade… give something to get something. And in a good trade both parties win."

"Ah, you have the mind of a businessman not held back by sentiment." Loki nodded then looked around.

"How else could I have built this?" Ymir asked. "You really are a funny one. What realm did you grow up on?"

"I suppose it is quite obvious I am not familiar with Jotunheim." Loki frowned.

"Hah! You don't say," Ymir laughed. "You are as out of place as a cat in a dog pound!"

Loki sighed deeply. "Yes… yes, that most likely can't be denied."

"So, which one is it?" Ymir asked.

"You correctly deduced the gem I gave you was from Svartalfheim. There's your answer," Loki replied in an even voice.

"Hmm," Ymir mused, "makes sense, I suppose, and what brought you here?"

"Is it so strange to be curious about my place of birth?" Loki asked.

"What do you think of what you're seeing?" Ymir asked.

"I am not certain yet," Loki admitted. "Jotunheim is… a harsh and cruel world, that much is obvious. It is a realm whose inhabitants do whatever is necessary to survive. Being generous is a luxury reserved for the rich and well off. It is not affordable in a world such as this…. People who don't know of this would probably call you cruel as well, Lord Ymir, but your achievements cannot be denied. The Jotunns living here in your fortress are probably far better off than all those outside."

"You've got your wits about you," Ymir said with a smirk. "I suppose you need to, being so small. What else do you have?"

"Not much," Loki had to admit. "However, wits should not be underestimated." There was an edge of a challenge in his tone.

"HAHAHA! Getting feisty now, are we?" Ymir asked. "Do not forget you are in _my_ domain."

"For tonight, I am your entertainment." Loki graciously nodded at him. "How entertaining would it be if I just rolled over and agreed to your every word? That would make for a very dull evening."

"Alright, so you've proved yourself a clever one." Ymir grinned. "Let's play a game! Which do you prefer, dice or cards?"

"Whichever you wish. Either suits me fine," Loki assured him, and Ymir grinned as he pulled forward a dice cup and five dice that looked to be cut from bones.

"Place your stakes," Ymir insisted.

Loki glanced up. "We didn't agree on there being stakes."

"I _never_ play without stakes," Ymir informed him. "It makes for dull and uninteresting games."

Loki shrugged but dug out a shining green gem, which he placed on the table. Ymir grinned as he looked at it then pulled off one of his rings and put it down.

"Now, let me explain the rules."

Loki listened intently as Ymir explained. They played their first game, and Ymir won by a thread. But Loki was seriously studying the cup. He had not been fooled. Ymir had cheated.

In the next game, Loki waited patiently until Ymir repeated the same trick, switching the dice. That's when Loki made a slight hand gesture as the dice were still under the cup, switching them back. When Ymir lifted the cup, he was stunned beyond words. He took in the dice coming out in Loki's favor, then looked at Loki.

"Well, I suppose this is my lucky day," Loki grinned, taking his own gem back alongside Ymir's ring.

"Huh, you think you've gotten the better of me, tiny one?" Ymir challenged.

The pattern continued. Ymir's way of cheating would be new, but he could only cheat one specific way once. The second he tried to use the same trick twice, Loki won the game. Eventually, Ymir started to get frustrated. He hissed as Loki grinned. Loki was now sitting with all of Ymir's rings on his side of the table.

"You…" Ymir seethed. "You little runt!"

"It's only cheating if you get caught," Loki replied. "And you got caught."

Ymir glared at Loki, breathing deeply in and out, his body tense. Loki was relaxed though. Then suddenly, Ymir's lips twisted upwards, and he let out a huge laugh. "HA HAAAAA! You got me! Oh, I was right, I am having a lot of fun with you!"

"It is my aim to give you your money's worth," Loki smirked, shoveling all of Ymir's glittering rings into his bag. Of course, Loki had no use whatsoever for any of those rings. They were too big for him. In Asgard, Loki had riches that went far beyond anything here, even all of Ymir's jewels. It was a matter of principle.

"Oh, I sense you are going to bring a great deal of trouble to our realm." Ymir grinned.

"Why ever would I do that?" Loki asked. "I am simply visiting."

"There's something about you," Ymir commented, the mood suddenly shifting. "Something tells me that if I had my own realm's best interest at heart, I shouldn't let you leave this place."

Loki looked up sharply, a heavy silence settling between them.

"I should let you sleep outside, let my dogs handle you. It would save me and my realm a lot of trouble in the future, I think," Ymir said.

Loki's face hardened at this.

"However, do you know something funny?" Ymir continued. "Before the war with Asgard, I was just your average poor Jotunn, one of Laufey's grunt soldiers. It was the war… The war gave the things I had to offer so much higher value. Desperation for safety, for food made me a rich man." He grinned suddenly, showcasing that several of his teeth were gold. "Laufey is a fool, more concerned about honor than survival. Perhaps it is time for someone else to take over."

"You desire… to be king?" Loki asked.

"Oh no, nothing so crude." Ymir shook his head. "But he has been a thorn in my side, demanding that I feed his soldiers and bow to him. The broken king. Thinking that if he can just defeat Odin, he will regain his former glory. Don't make me laugh! Kill Odin, and then what? An entire realm will come to Jotunheim seeking revenge… No. Getting rid of Laufey _without_ the involvement of Asgard, bringing chaos he cannot control… that would suit me fine."

Loki frowned. "Then you wish to see chaos unfold, so that you might sell the stability you have to offer? And, as a side bonus perhaps, lose Laufey as a casualty?"

Ymir grinned, which was answer enough.

"I'm afraid to say I have no such desire," Loki informed him. "I am only visiting. I have no intention of getting involved at this time."

"Oh, but I don't think you'll have any choice when the time comes." Ymir shook his head, his expression making Loki's skin crawl. "Little runt. Laufey's shame."

Loki halted.

"I was one of his soldiers!" Ymir laughed. "I was there. I was a witness."

Loki's eyes were wide as he took in this information.

"The war had gone on for hundreds of years," Ymir said. "Laufey was losing troops, but he refused to give up. He was furious. That's when a woman visited him, a beauty of a giantess, big and strong. She told him that if he would only lay with her, she would birth him a son, and that son would one day become the strongest of all frost giants. A son born for a single purpose, to end Odin's life. She claimed she had foreseen it. The child she would bear would be the end of Asgard. He would sit on Asgard's throne before becoming the bringer of Ragnarok. Odin's bane! Asgard's doom! Laufey was only too happy to hear of this prophecy. Too blind, he laid with the woman."

Loki swallowed, too stunned for words.

"She became with child as promised. Her stomach grew large. Then, the day of the birth came and" –Ymir clasped a hand to his forehead— "in the midst of birth she changed forms, became a small woman. The woman was no Jotunn at all, just a shapeshifter! And the child, the child was tiny and weak. She had promised Laufey the strongest Jotunn, and there he stood with a child that could fit into the palm of his hand. He was furious! Such a small, weak thing being the product of _his_ seed? HAHAHAHA!"

Loki didn't know what to feel. He was shocked. Numbed. He could barely even think.

"In his fury, he grabbed the woman and broke her neck, never even knew her true name. Her last spiteful words were that the child she had birthed would not just be Odin's bane, but be the one to end Laufey's life as well." Ymir grinned. "As if Laufey would allow that to happen! Then he looked at the child and said, 'Well, at least you may be good for one thing. Bring me my gods' blessings.'"

"And then he walked to an alter with the infant," Loki breathed, "never looking back."

"Oh, you already knew the ending?" Ymir inquired.

Loki shook his head. "No, and neither do you. The ending has not yet been written. I am still here."

"True." Ymir nodded. "It should be very interesting to get that ending at last… So, what do you intend to do now, lilliput?"

"I… do not know," Loki admitted. Then he sighed as he hefted his bag onto the table and turned it upside down, emptying it of all Ymir's rings. He pushed the jewels back to him.

Ymir looked at them then raised an eyebrow at Loki.

"On Jotunheim, you give something to get something," Loki stated. "You just gave me something of incredible value. I am giving you these treasures. I owe you nothing now."

Ymir grinned. "You're learning, and fast as well. Indeed, this should be interesting… very interesting." He tilted his head. "You know how I recognized you?"

"I'm small," Loki sighed.

"It happens once in a while a tiny one is born," Ymir stated with a shake of his head. "No, what gave it away… you look _just_ like her. I bet beneath that rim frost your hair is black as night, is it not?"

Loki lifted a hand, touching his hair. It was answer enough, and Ymir grinned, showing his golden teeth again.

"Of course, her true skin color was quite different… It was pale, nearly as pale as dear Asta here." Ymir pointed at the white Jotunn woman. "Her eyes shining green like a cat's. For a non-Jotunn, she was quite beautiful."

Loki sucked in a breath. "Do you know… What was her name?"

Ymir looked at Loki then he sighed. "Sadly, no. It would be interesting to see what you would pay for that information."

Loki glanced down, his hands tightening.

"I still wonder… How did you escape from that alter?" Ymir asked. "How did you escape death?"

"I told you, my story is not for sale… at least not at this time," Loki informed him. He started to feel very uncomfortable.

"I suppose you would have to keep some bargaining tools." Ymir grinned. "One day though, you must tell me. I insist."

Loki closed his eyes. "Perhaps, someday."

* * *

_Edited by Serpina Silver_


	17. Back home

In the dead of night, Loki lay wide awake. There was no point in even trying to sleep or pretend for that matter. He felt numb. Ymir's words rang through his head, and yet it was like they were just a far-off echo, the words indistinct.

What was that?

The door opened. Loki remained motionless as footsteps approached. Finally, a figure white as the purest snow entered his line of sight.

"Oh, ignoring me?" Asta asked. "That's not very kind, and you could scarcely keep your eyes off me before."

"Please take your leave," Loki muttered. "I am in no mood for company."

"That's terribly rude of you," Asta commented as she bowed over Loki. "Don't think I didn't notice. You are a young man with all the desires of any other." She gently put a hand on his stomach and slid it downwards, down…

Loki sighed. "Do not tell me you are taking Ymir's suggestion seriously?"

"It would be interesting though, wouldn't it?" Asta asked as she crawled up next to him. "So, tell me, have you had a Jotunn woman before?"

Loki didn't even look at her.

"Oh? Could it be… you haven't had any woman yet?" Asta prodded. "Well, what an honor." She reached for his face only for Loki to grab her wrist.

"On Jotunheim, you give something to get something," Loki stated. "Whatever you want, I shall not give it to you."

Asta pouted. "But you've got plenty to spare," she pointed out. "You're filthy rich. Surely you can spare a gem for me?" She offered Loki the biggest, most pleading red eyes she could muster. "Pretty please! It would look so nice on me, don't you think? A fine use of a gem."

Loki frowned, annoyed.

"Very well then," she commented with a sigh. "A shame really." Quick as lightning, there was a knife in Asta's hand, and suddenly it was going straight for Loki's throat.

Loki was quicker though, grabbing her hand and pushing her back. Then he pulled out his own knives. "Is this how Jotunheim treats its guests?!"

"Guests stupid enough to flaunt their riches without being strong enough to protect them!" Asta spat going for him again. Her knife went straight through Loki, and then… he vanished. Asta blinked.

"Looks can be deceiving," Loki informed her, suddenly standing at the other end of the room.

Asta turned to him. "Uh, sorcery!" she exclaimed. Then she smiled. "You get more interesting by the minute."

"Does Jotunheim have no sorcerers?" Loki inquired with a quirk of his brow.

"We do, but they are rare, and the things they can do are little more than cheap tricks. I do not think anyone is powerful enough to teleport," Asta admitted. "Makes you think, doesn't it? Your mother promised Laufey the strongest Jotunn. That's what Lord Ymir said. Do you think she mentioned in what way you would be the strongest?"

"I care not," Loki informed her. "Why should I wish to be the tool of a dead woman?"

Asta looked at him. Then she smiled. "Are you sure you wouldn't mind company?" she asked, moving closer in a seductive manner. "It would be me owing you right now…. You're so different, so unlike anyone I've met." She bowed over him again. "I really do want you."

Loki groaned. "My head scarcely reaches to below your chest. How would it even…"

The next moment, Asta had shifted and was suddenly the same size as Loki.

"You… are a shapeshifter?" Loki asked.

"Most Jotunns can shrink down, at least. But we prefer to stay at our true height. Our height signifies our age, you know. We never stop growing. The Jotunns who are tall as mountains are those who have managed to survive for over one hundred thousand years. It makes it rather inconvenient to go and meet new people though, so they shrink down for that."

"Oh, really?" Loki asked.

"No, Jotunns who are that old prefer to live out the rest of their lives in solitude. They never talk to anyone. But they _could_ shrink down if they wanted to."

Loki blinked, a bit confused about what she was saying.

"I swear it's true. They could. They just don't want to," Asta said. "You really don't know anything, do you?"

Loki scoffed.

Asta smirked. "I almost feel sorry telling you this, but whatever you are looking for here, I doubt you will find anything good. You don't fit in at all."

Loki wouldn't show it, but her words did sting, especially because they were true. He was a Jotunn, well half Jotunn if what Ymir said was true, but he wasn't of Jotunheim. This he could not deny, especially not now.

Loki started to seriously question what he had been thinking coming here. Had he thought that he would find answers? Clarity? It seemed that whenever Loki found some sort of answer, it was always accompanied with a horrible revelation and even more questions, which probably wouldn't bring anything good with them either if they were answered.

"My advice, just let loose and have fun with it." Asta smiled, her eyes glittering. "Here, it is every man out for himself anyway."

"Is it?" Loki asked. "You have Ymir's protection, do you not?"

"For as long as I am useful to him," Asta said. "I thought you had learned that one."

"Right, give something to get something." Loki sighed, starting to become a bit tired of that old saying. Yes, it was getting old now. Then he picked up his bag, looking at Asta.

"You're leaving?" Asta asked, sounding honestly disappointed.

"You spoke the truth. I do not belong here. I know not why I came in the first place. I would tell you it has been a pleasure, but I so hate to lie." Loki informed her and then vanished in a blink before Asta even got to answer.

* * *

Outside it was dark. There were no visible stars, only the storm threatening to knock Loki over. He had the good sense to teleport outside of the fortress. He had no desire to run into the dogs, but this also meant that he was caught in the merciless winds of the realm.

Loki teleported a bit further away until he stood on a bare hill, and he looked up. "Heimdall!" he shouted. "Would you be so good as to grant me a lift?"

The response was almost immediate as Loki's vision was obscured by all the many colors of the rainbow bridge. A few moments later, he was firmly on the ground again, standing in the Asgardian observatory. The change of scene was amazing. Instead of the cruel, harsh wind, everything was still. Any sounds were calm and serene. Above Loki were a carpet of beautiful, glittering stars.

Then, without warning, came a big blond menace.

"LOKI!"

Thor had become rather good at asking if he could hug his brother. This time, though, he had seemingly forgotten it as he crushed Loki in a hug, then suddenly remembered as he jumped back.

"Sorry!" Thor exclaimed. "I was just… Loki, are you hale? You are not hurt, are you? Were the Jotunns kind?" His questions came in quick succession, one after the other. Loki blinked. "Loki, did they steal your voice?" Thor shouted, grabbing Loki's shoulders and shaking him.

Loki frowned. "Now you are just being an oaf. You have given me no time to reply."

"Ah." Thor stepped back.

Loki shook his head. He remembered that he was still blue and easily slid into his normal Aesir guise, slipping a hand through his hair to get it back into order. Then he noticed the other presence in the room, and he turned to look at the golden gaze of the all-seer. "Heimdall," he breathed.

"My prince." Heimdall bowed his head.

Loki swallowed. "You… heard?" he asked.

"I cannot hear what is being said in conversations across realms. You would have to call me specifically," Heimdall said. "But… if I concentrate, I can read lips. And yes, I am aware of what your host told you."

Loki bit his lip, then finally asked, "Is any of what he said true?"

"That I do not know," Heimdall admitted. "At that point in time, my gaze was trained upon the various battles of the war."

Thor looked from one to the other. "What? Is what true? Loki?"

Loki swallowed as he looked away. "I… I do not know if-"

"My prince, if I may," Heimdall interjected. "Remember how it hurt when your parents refused to tell you the truth? Would you follow their example?"

Slowly, Loki shook his head. "No… I do not want that," he admitted as he looked at his brother. "Well Thor, it appears I may only be half Jotunn."

"Oh," Thor blinked. "What is the other half?"

"No idea," Loki admitted. "A shapeshifter of some sort."

"Makes sense. You are a shapeshifter, after all." Thor nodded.

"She… gave birth to me for the single purpose of defeating Odin. She claimed that she had foreseen… that I would become Odin's bane, the bringer of Ragnarök. That I would sit on Asgard's throne then cause Asgard's destruction."

Thor was silent as he looked at Loki, frowning. "Loki… do we know for certain she actually said that?"

Loki shook his head. "No."

"And… if she said it, do we know she actually had the gift of foresight?" Thor asked. "That she wasn't just selling empty promises?"

"No," Loki had to admit again.

"Mother never shares her foresights. She says it is the most important rule," Thor stated. "So, if this woman was sharing… chances are she wasn't even a reel foreseer."

Loki looked at Thor. Since when had his oafish brother become the clever, rational one?

"I am happy you told me this." Thor smiled. "You should not be burdened with such dark thoughts to carry alone."

Loki nodded. "You know, I am glad I told you now as well, instead of letting it fester."

Thor smiled, beamed in fact. Then he halted. "So… what was Jotunheim like?"

"It was… It wasn't very nice," Loki admitted. "I met a man, I was his guest, and he… he was a necessary evil of their realm."

"Necessary evil? Evil is never necessary!" Thor proclaimed.

Loki shook his head. "I am afraid you are incorrect on that," he informed him. "When the reality is harsh enough then, yes, there is. Sometimes an evil can be very necessary."

Thor was silent. Clearly, he had a difficult time comprehending this information.

"I only talked with a few Jotunns, but they were all so very different from each other. Clearly not anything like Asgardians, but that does not mean they were all the same," Loki said. "I will admit, though, seeing Jotunheim for myself has made me appreciate so much more that I was allowed to grow up here. Here where I was never to lack anything or fight for my own life. Only my pride. However, when you live on a cruel world like Jotunheim where your life is at stake, pride matters very little. Pride… is the luxury of people who are always safe. Like generosity is a luxury of people who have enough."

"I… I do not understand," Thor admitted. "But I swear I shall reflect upon it," He quieted for a moment. "Do you think that Father's dream of peace is obtainable?"

Loki frowned. "I think… Asgard and Jotunheim are never going to be friends," he informed him. "At least not in our lifetime. To think we can win peace through sentiment and goodness of heart is foolish. We would be better served making deals which are mutually beneficial. Offering Jotunheim objects they need, while it will not gain us their love, could gain us a working relationship and thus peace, because they would not want to disrupt this trade."

"I see." Thor nodded. "I am certainly glad that is your job and not mine."

"Well, if you are crowned king, it will be your job," Loki said.

"For about one minute until I hand it back to you," Thor replied, and Loki snorted, amused.

Loki sighed. "The issue is Laufey though. He still is their king, and he will not agree to such a thing. He is far too stubborn."

"Then what will you do?" Thor asked.

"Laufey would not want to start such a relationship, but there are others, other Jotunns," Loki said.

"Like the man who hosted you?" Thor asked.

"Let's keep him out of the picture for now. That man is already powerful enough." Loki snorted. "However, it may be worth keeping our eyes open for the right opportunity."

* * *

_Edited by Serpina Silver_


	18. Her name was Yord

It was no wonder that Loki was exhausted. He fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.

The next day, Frigga was beyond anxious to see her son but had the good sense to only steal a peak through the door to see him safe and soundly sleeping. It was a little after noon when he finally woke. By this time, there was no escaping Frigga's embrace and her questions.

"I am fine," Loki informed her.

Frigga looked at him. "Loki, you are a gifted liar, but you were never able to lie to me," she reminded him.

Loki sighed. "Forgive me, Mother. I… I need to talk with both you and Father. There is… something of which I was informed. I am uncertain if it is true, but I have realized it should not be allowed to fester."

Frigga nodded seriously. "Your father is occupied with his duties. However, I will make sure that his evening will be free. After the evening's feast, meet us in my chambers."

"Thor will insist on coming too." Loki smiled, a bit abashed.

"Oh, so you confided in him already?" Frigga asked, and Loki nodded. "I am glad of that." She smiled, then kissed him on the forehead and allowed her hand to slip through his hair once. "Rest as much as you need, my son. It must have been a difficult journey."

"Well… I suppose that cannot be denied," Loki said. "Thank you, Mother. I think I shall have a walk in the gardens. I admit, wandering for so long in a place where there is nothing but snow and ice made me long for greenery and animal life."

"Loki?" Frigga asked.

"On Jotunheim… everything was dead," Loki explained. "There were animals, but… barely, and those which were there were enormous and ferocious, otherwise they could not survive such a climate. There were such long distances where there was no life at all. For long stretches, it was nothing… Nothing alive, nothing moving but the harsh winds carrying the snow. Only this for miles and miles… It was so cold and so dark. A dark, sad wasteland stretching forever. I could never have even imagined. How do they survive?"

"By doing what they need to do," Frigga said, sadness in her eyes. "You are clever though. You already surmised as much."

"Aye," Loki admitted. "Forgive me, Mother. I shall go to the gardens now," he informed her, managing to keep back a yawn and finally left for the gardens.

* * *

After the feast, as promised, both Loki and Thor headed to Frigga's chambers. Frigga and Odin were already there, sitting on the balcony, the same place where they had eaten breakfast together before. Frigga did have the best view in the palace, the view of her own garden, the place where Loki had spent his afternoon. On the table, refreshments had been served, some sweet, fine wine and a selection of nuts and fresh fruits.

Odin turned to Loki. "You went to Jotunheim, even though you both know that it is strictly forbidden. Not only for you, but for _any_ Asgardian," he accused.

Loki smirked lightly. "Sometimes it is easier to ask forgiveness than permission," he replied.

"This is _not_ the behavior of a king." Odin frowned. "Tomorrow you are to help Erlig go over this year's palace spending."

Loki's smirk only grew. Punished with a day of dull accounting. It was clearly a symbolic punishment. Odin was Loki's father, but he was also a king, and Loki was a prince. Odin couldn't just do nothing.

"Oh Father, what a cruel punishment. Truly, I shall have to suffer," Loki replied, though his tone made it clear he was joking. It was an extraordinarily light punishment for such a breach, even if Loki's situation was unique. "I swear, though, I shall endure," he added with a slight bow.

Odin shook his head but gestured at the empty seats for Loki and Thor to join them. "Now then, my sons, we have all been very anxious to hear," Odin said in a kinder voice, "what you have seen, what you have been thinking."

Loki closed his eyes. "It was a short trip, yet there is much to tell," he admitted. "And…" His hands were in his lap as he looked up. "Father, Mother… I met a man. A very powerful and rich Jotunn. I was his guest, and he told me something…" He swallowed. "Whether or not he spoke the truth, I cannot tell. Still…" He closed his eyes.

"Loki," Frigga breathed. "It is alright. There is time."

Loki nodded. "Then, I think I shall start with… Ymir's fortress." Slowly, Loki began his tale about how he had arrived and knocked on Ymir's door, about the fortress and the things Ymir had said as well as Loki's own observations. About how the fortress had worked, how the world itself worked. Their fundamental rules, which were so different from Asgard's. Then finally, Loki arrived at the core issue.

"Ymir said that during the war he was one of Laufey's men, and that he… bore witness to my birth," Loki informed them.

That made all grow quiet as they looked at him. Loki took a deep breath, then recounted the story he had been told about the woman who had promised Laufey a son who would be the strongest Jotunn, how she had seemingly tricked him when it was revealed that she was no Jotunn at all. What she said about her child destined to become Odin's bane and the bringer of Ragnarök, and even how her dying words had been that the son she had born was also destined to end Laufey's life.

There was stunned silence. Thor had already heard the story once, but he was clearly mulling it over. Though obviously he didn't believe a word of it. Loki could scream at Thor day and night that he was destined to bring Ragnarök, and Thor would never believe it. He was like that.

Frigga shook her head. "Loki… no foresight is absolute," she informed him. "It is nothing but the ability to see countless possibilities, though some will appear as more likely than others. The only way to assure a foresight will become true is acting upon it."

"The tale of Oedipus." Loki nodded. "The king had been told that his son who had not yet been born was destined to kill him. To avoid his fate, he tried to kill the child, but a nursemaid saved him, and he grew up, never knowing whom his father was. At the end of the tale, he kills his father quite by accident, never even knowing he had fulfilled the prophecy. Had his father not tried to cheat fate, it may not have come to that."

"Also, Kakusandha, you remember, Loki?" Frigga prompted.

Loki nodded. "It was prophesied that Kakusandha would either become a great king or a great but humble holy man. His father, the king, was determined that Kakusandha would be king, so he shielded Kakusandha from all the evil in the world, so he would have no reason to turn to the holy path. That, however, only meant that the day Kakusandha, as a young man, sneaked outside of the palace for the very first time and encountered death he was shocked beyond words. Because it was such a shock, he started to desperately search for meaning, for answers…. He left everything behind, the palace, his title, his claim to riches and became a holy but humble man."

"Indeed," Frigga replied. "And both of these stories are quite true. When the parties involved become convinced that the prophecy is a certainty and act as if it is, they unwillingly make it come to pass. Whether this is a true prophecy or not, I cannot tell. However, do not become its slave. That will destroy you."

"Essentially, I should forget about it and live my own life," Loki commented.

"Yes." Frigga nodded. "Whatever Laufey or that woman wished for you is no concern of yours. You are your own person, Loki, not their tool for battle."

Loki smiled. "Thank you, those are the words I needed to hear." Then he turned to Odin. His father seemed extremely thoughtful. "Father?" Loki asked.

"Your mother is right." Odin nodded. "We are only bound by fate when we decide to be. When we have convinced ourselves that we are. You are my son. Whatever that woman has said, I will not act as if it has the slightest validity."

"She gave up any rights to dictate your life the second she desired to make you a weapon," Frigga stated firmly. "And Laufey lost his right when he placed you on that altar. You owe them nothing."

"I have no desire to destroy Asgard." Loki smiled weakly. "Asgard is my home, which I love dearly. And neither have I any wish to cause my own father distress."

"Then," Odin spoke, "there is nothing to fear."

It wasn't that easy though. In the evening, Odin stood in his own chambers, his gaze stern as he looked out of the window towards the mountain. Frigga, wearing just a silk night gown, walked up behind him, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"Husband, you cannot stand there all night. Come to bed," she asked, wrapping her arms around him.

Odin sighed. "Frigga…"

Frigga quieted. Then she looked up. "You know something," she stated, and Odin turned to her.

"The woman of Loki's tale… a woman who is a shapeshifter and willing to go to such lengths just to get back at me." Odin closed his eye. "I didn't want to think it; however… when we discovered Loki had natural gifts as a shapeshifter, the fear first came to me. As he grew… He looks so much like her."

Frigga stood back, looking up at Odin. "Who?" she asked. "Who would be so cruel? To bring life into this world only to raise him so he may cause death?"

Odin swallowed.

"Odin," Frigga demanded.

And Odin sighed. "Yord."

Frigga gasped. "Yord?" she asked. "You mean, your…"

"My first wife, aye." Odin sighed. "And the mother of my first child, Hela. When I was forced to lock Hela away, Yord was furious. She swore revenge upon me. She started to gather troops. It was treason. She was attacking her own husband and king, trying to take the throne for herself… I had no choice. I had to lock her away. I locked her in a prison cell, yet it wasn't enough. She vanished. I never found out to where… until today."

Frigga swallowed but listened intently.

"She swore to me that her own child would obtain the throne," Odin admitted. "Yord did not have the gift of foresight, but she had the gift of curses… Her gift was limited though. She could curse a man to ruin, and it would most likely happen, but how or when it should happen is less predictable."

"So, she cursed her own child with this fate," Frigga breathed. "Isn't there a way to break this curse?"

"There is, but it will be neither easy nor painless," Odin admitted. "Especially for one such as Loki who was cursed even before his birth."

"What a horrid woman," Frigga muttered. Then, "Forgive me. She was your wife."

Odin closed his eye. "Aye, that she was. And I loved her once. She was… the goddess of night, mysterious and tempting as night itself, but also just as dark, which I did not see at first. Sometimes I wonder if it was indeed me who ruined her… me who ruined Hela. Hela…" He swallowed. "She would not stop killing. I asked her. I begged her. I even fell to my knees… but in time, I saw that she was never going to stop."

Again, Frigga laid her hand on Odin's shoulder. "Odin… come to bed. You must rest," she said.

"I fear I shall have very little rest tonight," Odin admitted. "My mind is filled with their screams, with the sight of all that blood… With you, with the life you brought, I wished to do things differently, yet now, the past catches up to me."

"Odin." Frigga turned her husband around so they were face to face. "Loki is not Yord, nor is he Hela… Loki is no slave to their whims. Loki is Loki."

Odin nodded. "He looks so much like her," he sighed.

"Odin," Frigga spoke in a warning tone.

"Yet he reminds me more of you, my beautiful queen." Odin smiled lightly. "You brought him kindness and love. You have saved my son." He took her hands and lovingly kissed them.

Frigga smiled, but her smile faltered. "You must tell him," she said.

"My queen, I do not believe now is the time," Odin replied.

"There will never be a time. You must make it," Frigga stated. "You kept saying it was not the time to tell him about his Jotunn origins, even though he was doomed to stumble across it sooner or later, and the longer we waited the greater the risk grew. You _must_ tell him! And it must be now. How else can he agree to break this curse? I am sure he will be most eager to do so."

"Yes… yes…" Odin nodded. "I do feel though… so very exhausted. I fear… these revelations have taxed me greatly."

"Is the Odinsleep nearing?" Frigga asked. "So soon?"

"I have been worn down with worry," Odin said. "Forgive me…"

Frigga shook her head. "Sleep then; however, when you wake and have become well rested once more, you must tell him."

Odin nodded. "Aye… as always, you are quite right, my queen." He did indeed look very tired. And it was only with Frigga's help that he made it back to bed where Frigga crawled up next to him and wrapped her arms around her exhausted husband, lending his troubled mind any comfort she could.


	19. Brothers forever

The next morning, Frigga informed Loki and Thor that their father had entered the Odinsleep. They should not worry though. It was light and peaceful, and he was sure to wake up in only a few days.

It was always a strange time when it happened. The two princes were so used to their father being strong and powerful that each time he entered the Odinsleep it served as an abrupt reminder that Odin was in fact very old and had sustained so many injuries in battles past that pursued him even now.

Loki headed to do his punishment as promised, and it was indeed a long, boring day with lines upon lines of numbers that nearly made him go cross-eyed. He started to think he would have preferred it if he had been asked to run laps around the city.

In the evening, Loki declared that he was going to the mountains the next day. It was something he had started doing once in a while, not often enough to call it frequent, but it also wasn't something that would come as a complete surprise to anyone anymore.

"Loki… I know this is what you need." Thor hesitated. "Are you sure you should go alone though? I can come with you. I swear that I shall be quiet."

"Do not make promises you cannot keep, Thor." Loki smirked, amused. "Though, I suppose your company on the ride might be appreciated."

"Really?" Thor asked. Clearly, he hadn't actually expected Loki to say yes.

"Yes." Loki nodded. He was a bit surprised as well.

And so together, Loki and Thor went on the familiar route. To Loki's great surprise, Thor kept his promise and remained quiet as they rode up the trail. Finally, they reached Loki's favorite spot, and Thor looked out.

"Wow!" he breathed. "This is beautiful. Alright, I now understand why you continue to return here," he admitted.

"Wait until dawn. The sun comes up right over there." Loki pointed in front of them, slightly to the left.

"I shall await in anticipation." Thor grinned. "So… what do you do now?"

Loki shrugged. "Put up camp… lay down… walk around… sit."

"So… nothing then?" Thor asked.

"It's not nothing," Loki proclaimed.

"It kind of is, though," Thor pointed out. "Do you never bring books? You like those. Or card games or—"

"No, I bring none of that," Loki informed him.

Thor was slightly shocked. "How do you manage to spend your days like that?" he finally had to ask. "I think I would die from boredom."

"If it is so difficult for you, you need feel no obligation to stay. You may go home, you know," Loki commented. "At any time."

"No!" Thor exclaimed. "You have spent a lifetime trying to adhere to the Aesir ways of life. It is about time I try to adhere to the ways that fall naturally to you."

Loki looked at Thor.

"So… we just put up camp… and don't talk?" Thor asked.

Loki nodded. "Yes."

"And then just… sit or walk around, but don't talk," Thor continued.

Loki nodded, this time not giving a verbal reply.

Thor opened his mouth only to get a stern look from Loki. He closed it again, then grinned as he gave Loki a thumbs up and the gesture indicating he was zipping his mouth closed. Loki was giving Thor an hour at most.

An hour passed, and Thor was clearly struggling. His body was tense. He was constantly fiddling with stuff, but he was keeping quiet. Loki had to admit, his brother's infamous stubbornness was serving him well. Even as darkness started to fall, and Thor was clearly going near stir crazy, taking a run up and down the trail, he didn't speak.

Laying on his back, looking up at the stars, hearing Thor's grunts in the background as the Thunder God had started doing pushups, Loki started to wonder if he should just release Thor from his misery already. Or perhaps he should see how long it would take for Thor to truly break down in despair.

Loki's mischievous side really wanted to keep going. See what Thor was going to do next. How long would Loki have to just lay there, absolutely still, before Thor would jump off the mountain? But then another side of him started to feel honestly sorry for his elder brother who refused to give in.

It was when Thor started to build a tower of stones in his desperation to pass time that Loki finally found mercy in his heart. Though, it would be interesting to see just how tall Thor could make his tower. If this went on for too long, however, this mountain might soon have two different tops. So, Loki had mercy and broke the silence.

"How is Sif these days?"

Thor let out a shriek, startled that someone had broken the silence.

Loki smirked, not even moving.

"We… we can speak now?" Thor asked.

Loki sighed. "You rather missed the point anyway. You need to slow down, not keep running at such high speed."

Thor frowned but walked over to Loki and sat down.

"I'm not very good at this," Thor finally commented.

"Oh, really?" Loki snorted. "Thor, do not take it personally, but you would make a simply awful Jotunn. You wouldn't last a week alone in their world!"

"Oh," Thor's face faltered. "It's that bad?"

"I fear so." Loki smirked at him. "Again though, do not take it personally. As it turns out, I am not a very good Jotunn either."

"Oh… I'm sorry." Thor swallowed.

"It is not terribly odd. Jotunheim is a foreign land to me. I do not know it, not really." Loki leaned back as he looked up. "I suppose I… Some part of me thought that if I were to go there, I would get that sense of… belonging. That I would see something and suddenly a whole host of things would make sense to me. That's… not how it works though. Those mountains and trees were strange to me. I didn't know their food or drink nor their small gestures… None of it was familiar to me."

"I… I'm sorry," Thor replied again, not knowing what else to say. Honestly, neither did Loki. "Asgard is your home though, right?" he asked. "So that's…"

Loki sighed. "What is my role, Thor?" he asked. "What am I in this world? There does not seem to be anyone else like me at all… Not on Asgard, not on Jotunheim. Not anywhere… I am out of place in either realm."

"I… I don't know either," Thor admitted, lying down so his head was next to Loki's, and they both looked up at the stars. "I mean, you are pretty incredible. You can do so much. Where do I even start?"

Loki blinked, clearly astounded. Of all things, that's not what he had expected Thor to say.

"With you as king, Asgard's potential would be limitless," Thor breathed.

"Thor… I'm not going to be the king."

Thor halted. "But…"

"The risks are simply too many," Loki started. "If I were crowned and my true species were revealed afterwards, the people would shout foul play. Furthermore, you are the peoples' champion. You are the one they adore. You are the oldest, so the right naturally falls to you regardless. Also, I am well known for my lies and trickery… There are many reasons why appointing me would give people cause to accuse foul play."

Thor swallowed. "Father has given you more responsibilities than me," he pointed out. "More important ones."

Loki shrugged. "What does that matter? The facts remain unchanged. I will not be king," he stated. Then he sighed. "Honestly, I do not truly wish to be… especially not now. Having to guard my secret day and night to protect my position… Just thinking about it makes me exhausted."

"That is… really a shame," Thor commented. "You probably would be the better king… At least, you'll be there to help me. Right?"

Loki smirked slightly. "Well, if I'm not busy with other things."

"I mean it. I… I don't think I can handle it alone," Thor admitted. "Loki, I… Please help me when the time comes."

Loki sucked in a deep breath then turned his head and looked at Thor. Their eyes met briefly. Then Loki nodded, and Thor beamed.

"Thank you, Brother."

Loki smirked as he looked back. "Well, I suppose that is something I can never escape, no matter how I might try. I shall be your brother." He chuckled.

"Aye!" Thor grinned.

Loki smirked, amused. It was nice knowing that no matter how strange and shocking things got, some things would always be the same. Thor would always be Thor. Big dumb oaf.

* * *

_Edited by Serpina Silver_


	20. More harsh truths

By morning, a light layer of snow had covered the ground. When Thor tried to have a drink, he realized that the contents of his waterskin had frozen solid, and of course he was freezing too. Wrapping his arms around himself, he shivered. "S-so cold."

"Really?" Loki asked casually. "I think it's terribly warm."

"How can you—" Thor began as he turned to Loki, who smirked at him. His skin had become blue and his eyes red. "That is cheating!" Thor shouted.

"No, it's not," Loki proclaimed. "This is my real body."

"Built to withstand the temperatures of Jotunheim!" Thor bellowed.

"Your point is?" Loki asked.

Thor grumbled, annoyed as he turned around to head to the firepit where he knelt down, trying to start a fire. Suddenly, without warning, an object hit him in the neck. It was cold! And it was melting against his neck. Furiously, Thor turned his head and saw Loki standing there, innocently looking the other direction. As if there was anyone else who could possibly have thrown that snowball.

"Oh, so you want to play that game?" Thor huffed, scraping snow together with his fingers, barely getting enough to form a snowball. "Well, you asked for it!" he yelled, throwing the snowball right at Loki, only for Loki to lightly move his head allowing the ball to fly right past him. Then he grinned as he held out a hand, a snowball forming there by itself.

"That… that's not fair." Thor stepped back. "There is _no way_ that can be counted as fair!" he exclaimed only to get the snowball right in his face. Loki howled with laughter. Thor shook his head, a rain of snow spilling around him as he seethed, cracking his knuckles. "Loki… you asked for this."

"Oh?" Loki asked, looking as innocent as possible.

"Come here!" Thor shouted as he ran straight for Loki.

Soon they were engaged in a play fight, tumbling around, and both were laughing as they got the better of each other by turns. Many snowballs hit Thor's face, but just as many tugs were given to Loki's hair, so it was now a complete mess.

Finally, they toppled to the ground laughing. They hadn't even noticed the shadow approaching them, though they were both amused as they looked up to see the one-eyed figure of their father.

It had to be quite a sight, both princes on the ground, one of them blue at the moment, both with unruly hair. The clothes they had slept in were covered in snow and dirt, and yet there were big smiles on their faces.

Odin looked at them, then he shook his head in amusement.

"Father, you've awakened!" Thor grinned, still lying on his back, having to look up to see Odin. "The Norns be praised!"

"I am glad to see the Odinsleep went well," Loki replied, not moving from his perch atop Thor's stomach.

"Your mother asked me to bring you breakfast," Odin informed them, gesturing to his packed horse. "After that, I shall need a word with Loki."

That made both princes grow quiet.

"Oh." Finally, Loki removed himself from Thor. "Something serious?"

Odin sighed. "Yes," he said. "Thor, this is a conversation Loki and I will need to have in private. I fear I must ask you to go and wait with your mother."

Thor's eyes switched from Odin to Loki and back again. "But… if it's that important then—"

"Thor," Odin spoke in a stern tone which always worked and made Thor step back.

"I'm sorry, forgive me," Thor asked.

"I caused no damage on Jotunheim, did I?" Loki asked. "I mean, no one other than you and Heimdall know I went… right?"

"It is not that," Odin assured him. "Please, let us eat first. Then I shall tell you."

* * *

After they finished breakfast and Thor had reluctantly left on his own horse, Loki still had no idea what this could possibly be about. He only knew that Odin was serious, his body tense and his voice low yet clear. Loki swallowed. He felt rather nervous. He tried to suppress a shiver but failed.

Odin sighed. "Loki," he breathed, "please understand that this is not something I knew. Not before you told us what Ymir said."

Loki nodded slowly.

"I believe I know who your birth mother was," Odin said slowly.

Loki's eyes widened. "You… you do?"

Odin nodded as he found his bag, then pulled out what looked like a portrait, which he offered to Loki. Loki hesitated but picked it up and looked down to be met by the sight of an incredibly beautiful woman. The woman's skin was white as the purest snow. Her hair was dark as the blackest night. Her body was slender and so very elegant, her high cheekbones paying tribute to her shining green eyes.

It was one of those magically forged portraits, which looked so lifelike and also guaranteed that it was very accurate. Also, what Loki could not deny was the fact that this woman looked exactly like him. They had the same skin, the same hair, the same green eyes, the same long fingers and slender build. It was like looking at an older, female version of himself. It was kind of creepy actually.

"Who is this?" he asked, looking up.

"Her name was Yord," Odin informed him. "Vanir by birth. She was the Goddess of Night."

Loki was stunned into silence, his eyes wide as they held Odin's gaze.

"She adored the night and would take the form of creatures such as wolves, owls and bats to freely move across the night," Odin continued. "She… committed a terrible crime. Treason. I was force to lock her away, but she escaped. I did not know to where until you told me your tale. However, before she left, she swore revenge upon me. She swore she would bring about my undoing."

Loki looked back to the portrait in his hands. Then he looked up. "Why was she so stricken with lust for revenge?"

"It all happened long ago, Loki. It is no longer important," Odin said.

Loki frowned, annoyed. "Father, this woman went to your sworn enemy, disguised herself as a Jotunn just to lay with Laufey and give birth, purely for revenge. Revenge for what? It is of the greatest importance!"

"Loki, I am telling you only the things which you need to know," Odin replied.

"Well, you have been a poor judge of that!" Loki exclaimed. "Did I not need to know I was Jotunn?"

"You will not question me!" Odin boomed.

"Who was she?" Loki shouted, thrusting the portrait into the air. "Who was she to you? Why must I be burdened with her vengeance?"

Odin seethed, but Loki held his ground.

"I am here! I live solely because of her anger against you!" Loki accused. "What did you do? Why am I here? Why do I _exist_?"

Odin closed his eye, took a deep breath then looked into Loki's harsh eyes. After a while, he seemed to deflate, growing sad and tired. He looked down in defeat.

"Well?" Loki demanded.

"She…" Odin breathed, "was my first wife, before I met Frigga."

Loki's eyes widened. "What? You… you must be joking?" Disbelief was clear in his voice.

Odin shook his head. He hesitated, then finally found another portrait and handed it to Loki, looking away.

Loki hesitated but finally took it and looked down with wide eyes. It was a family portrait containing three people. There was the same woman, just as beautiful as before. Odin too was in the portrait, but having both eyes and his hair mostly golden, just like Thor's. In fact, now it became more obvious just how much Thor resembled his father. The golden mane only had some streaks of gray. Then there was a girl. A little girl, who looked exactly like her mother, all except her blue eyes, which were just like her father's. Loki's eyes went from the daughter's eyes to her father's. They were identical, of the same shape and color. It was undeniable.

"Is that…" Loki took a shaky breath. "Is that your daughter?" His voice trembled and then rose in volume. "What? That is… You had a daughter with this woman?!"

Odin's eye was closed.

"I cannot believe this!" Loki exclaimed. "What more are you keeping from me? My origins… You had a different wife once… and a daughter! Oh Norns… If that woman is my mother, and that girl is her daughter then…" He groaned rubbing his face. He had a sister by blood. "What happened to the girl? Did she die?"

Odin sighed. "No," he admitted.

"What?" Loki sat up. "She's not dead? So, she is…"

"Banished to Niflheim," Odin finished.

"Niflheim?" Loki asked, stunned. "The… the realm of death, from which there is no escape? How could you do such a thing to your own blood?"

"Loki, please," Odin implored. "I had no pleasure in doing it, and it still pains me."

"Why?!" Loki asked. "If this is what you are willing to do to your own blood, how can I then feel in any way safe?"

"Hela is the Goddess of Death," Odin informed him. "Nothing brings her more pleasure than to spread death, to see people die by her own hand. She cannot even stop herself. She killed countless people, at first at my command. We were at war. But then, when I asked that she stop, she would not. I ordered her to stop. I demanded that she stop, but she laughed in my face and killed another innocent. I had no choice. She is death itself."

"So, you locked her away in a place where there is no hope for escape… which enraged Yord, who tried to commit treason, but you stopped her and locked her away too. Then she swore revenge, went to your greatest enemy to begin her plan, and I am the result of this entire mess."

"Loki?" Odin asked.

"I am slowly starting to wish I never found out that I was Jotunn," Loki admitted in a groan, rubbing his temples. "But how could you not know? Look at this!" Loki held up the portrait. "I look exactly like her!"

"I suppose… I kept denying it," Odin admitted.

Loki sighed. "So, she was planning to give birth to me and raise me to kill you, but Laufey killed her when he discovered that he had been used. The story is at an end, is it not?" he asked hopefully. Odin's bitter face was answer enough. "Alright, what else?" he asked.

Odin sighed. "Yord… had the gift of curses," he informed him. "She could curse a person's fate. If she cursed a man to ruin, it would happen. It would not be clear how or when. She was not allowed specifics, but… if Yord said that her new child would be Odin's bane, the bringer of Ragnarök and the one to end Laufey's life… that is a curse. That is your fate, cursed."

Loki's eyes widened. A cold chill went down his spine. "No," he gasped. "No, I shall not! I shall not be her tool!"

"Loki," Odin started.

"Do _not_ Loki me!" Loki seethed. "I am here… This entire situation exists because of you!"

Odin looked at Loki. Then his head dropped. "Aye, I cannot deny this."

Loki halted. It was hard to stay angry when Odin looked so defeated.

"Then what am I to do?" Loki asked. "If I am fated to—" He gritted his teeth. "Perhaps it's safer just to kill me right away and make sure I am truly dead."

"Loki! Do not suggest such a thing!" Odin gasped.

"Then what else is there to do? If bringing Ragnarök was my curse before I was born, then I would rather end it now, so that I might walk into the afterlife with my head held high instead of with the burden of countless deaths on my shoulders," Loki stated.

Odin harrumphed bitterly. "Or… you can break your fate."

Loki looked up. "Is such a thing possible?"

Odin nodded. "It is, but it is very dangerous. If you do not succeed, fate will break you. You may go insane. You may lose all sense of self. Dying would be one of the kinder outcomes."

"I'll do it," Loki stated without missing a beat.

"Loki, this is not something to take lightly," Odin stated.

"I shall _not_ have my fate decided by this woman. So, she thought she could just create a little Jotunn half breed to complete her revenge? She thought to own me even in death? I refuse!" he roared, throwing the portrait into the fire. "I shall _not_ be the result of your quarrel! _I_ decide what to do with _my_ life!"

Odin looked up at Loki, and he sighed. "Frigga anticipated you would react like this."

"Mother knows me well," Loki replied shortly. "Though, quite honestly, I struggle to call you Father now."

Odin didn't reply to that. What could he even say?

"I shall not be this woman's puppet," Loki informed him. "Thor needs me to _help_ him, not bring the destruction of Asgard. Whatever it takes, I swear… I swear by all that is sacred I shall do it!"

Odin nodded. "That much is obvious. Your eyes tell the entire tale. You will not yield. This is… good." He nodded. "I can only pray it will be enough."

"It will be," Loki informed him darkly. "I swear it."

* * *

_Edited by Serpina Silver_


	21. A promise

This time, Loki did not offer that he and Odin continue down the mountain together. Instead he furiously packed up his supplies and started to ride down the trail alone, making a conscious effort to leave Odin as far behind as possible.

The moment Loki reached the stables, he dismounted and wordlessly handed over his horse's reigns. Then he stormed to his chambers, slamming the door behind him.

An hour later, the sky outside started to grow dark. Then thunder erupted. Loki did not need to ask why, now that he knew the truth. Thor would have to be told as well, and chances were Thor was not taking it as well as Loki had. Since Loki's reaction had been wild anger and burning a precious family portrait, this did not bode well. The booming thunder outside sure suggested as much. Then, as if on schedule, a fist hammered on Loki's door.

"Loki!" Thor shouted. "Loki, are you in there?"

Loki sighed as he lifted a hand, letting magic flow, and with a click the door was unlocked, allowing Thor to burst inside.

"Loki!" Thor gasped. "Did… did he tell you all of it?"

Loki lifted his hand again, and the door behind Thor closed. The lock clicked back into place.

"Face it, Thor, Odin only told you because I know. Otherwise, he knows that I would tell you everything," Loki stated, his own temper rising. "And the only reason he told me was because we have now reached a point where he had no choice!"

"Father was married to another woman before he met Mother!" Thor cried. "And… and we have a sister!"

"A sister who is the Goddess of Death," Loki nodded.

"And his former wife! She…" Thor seethed, his entire body sparking with electricity. "He kept it from us! Kept all of it from us!"

A boom sounded outside, but Loki didn't ask Thor to calm down. In fact, Thor's reaction perfectly mirrored what Loki felt inside.

"Like when he did not see fit to tell us you were found on Jotunheim. How could he?" Thor shouted, grabbing the desk and flipping it over. This desk was made from solid, heavy wood and had tons of books on it, so this was not an easy feat. "How much suffering is he going to put you through?" he roared, kicking a chair away.

Even through Loki's anger, he was touched. His big, dumb brother was still more concerned about Loki's wellbeing than his own, which was further confirmed as Thor turned to Loki with serious eyes.

"Loki, how are you?" Thor asked.

"Oh, you know." Loki shrugged. "Apparently both my birth parents are bloody psychopaths, and my… our sister is a mass murderer. I am doing great!"

"Loki! Answer me seriously," Thor demanded. "Look at me and tell me."

"What can I say?" Loki sighed. "My entire life is a lie, but we discovered that years ago. Now… now it turns out I am the puppet of a pair of psychopaths. Or at least I was supposed to be. And to think that I once hoped I could learn to trust Odin again. He has kept all of this secret. Why? To paint a nicer, more serene picture for us to pursue? Was revealing the truth too much for us? Well, he desires for one of us to be king one day. Were we supposed to sit there on the throne knowing nothing of this shit?" he shouted.

Thor nodded in angry agreement as Loki continued his rant.

"Honestly, I do not c_are_ that his previous marriage was a mess. What I care about is the fact that he told us nothing of it. He has a living daughter!" Loki seethed, his tone angry and spiteful even though it remained quiet. "Oh, and then there is the entire ordeal with my own _mother_ cursing me to kill people and bring about Ragnarök! Because she was mad at her husband!" Growling, he stood up and kicked his own bed. "That bitch!" he yelled. Then Loki's eyes widened as his toe hit just at the right angle so a sharp pain shot through his entire body. He howled as he jumped around on one leg, grabbing his injured foot. "I am blaming her for this, by the way!"

"Your foot?" Thor blinked.

"Yes!" Loki shouted as he dropped back down on his bed. Then he laid there on his back, with spread out arms looking up at the ceiling.

Thor swallowed. He was still shaking with anger, but he was beginning to calm down. "Loki… is there something I can do for you?" Thor asked. "I… I hate this. I wish to help! No matter how small. Loki, please, I'll do anything."

"Well, if you insist, you may clean up my room." Loki lifted a hand. "That is _your_ mess after all." He pointed at the flipped over table and the books strewn across the floor.

Thor turned to it and his face faltered. "Oh," he realized. Blushing, Thor stomped towards the table and picked it up, getting it back upright, then turned to Loki.

Loki didn't even look at him. "Yes, but there is more. Get to it," he directed, his eyes still fixated on the ceiling.

"It's not me you need to be mad at," Thor muttered.

"You destroyed my chambers! And I am not in a particularly good mood right now." Loki snorted.

"That's fair," Thor had to admit, bowing down to pick up some books. "You could help though."

"Or you could learn to think before you act. Actions have consequences. You flip over a table, there is a mess that needs to be cleaned up," Loki informed him shortly. "You enter a war with your sorceress wife, and surprise, there's a gigantic mess left behind! Kings need to learn how to clean up their own messes!"

Now Thor was blushing all the way to his ears but dutifully did as he was told, even if he was grumbling and complaining under his breath while doing so. The thunder outside was still going strong, which told more than enough.

Finally, Thor was done and walked over to the bed. Then without any sort of permission, he dropped down next to Loki so they were both laying on their backs.

"Loki," Thor said seriously, "when one of us becomes king, let's not live as father has."

"When you become king," Loki corrected him. "With this, however, I agree. You have and will have my full support."

Thor frowned, a rumble from the thunder sounding outside.

"No more lies…. No more painting of pleasant, easy pictures," Thor breathed.

Loki nodded. "Reality is harsh and cruel, but to deny it will only bring more harm. No matter what a nice picture you paint, it will still be false, and it will crumble in time. Thor… the future we are going to build must be real."

Thor nodded, then reached down a hand and grabbed Loki's, holding it strong and firm.

"It will not be an easy task," Thor stated. "I am glad, though, that you will be by my side. I don't think I shall be able to do any of it alone."

"I will be by your side," Loki assured him. "Like you have been by mine in my hour of need. Like you never left me for a single moment and went out of your way to aid me even though it was difficult for you, even though you didn't understand. You tried…. You grew and learned. You changed your ways just for my sake. You, I could trust. You, I could depend upon. This is why you will be a great king."

Thor swallowed but nodded. "Thank you, that means a lot when coming from you, my brother."

Loki held Thor's hand tight as well, the meaning clear: they were in this together. Neither would be alone.

"I shall defy my fate," Loki proclaimed. "No matter what it takes."

Thor nodded. "I shall give you all the aid I can."

Loki smirked. "Aye, you have proven that time and time again. My brother."

Thor took a deep breath and gave a final nod. "Brother," he affirmed.


	22. A mothers love

Frigga walked with a bowed head, her long, golden locks falling down her shoulders and back. She had asked Loki to join her in the garden, yet once he was there, she didn't seem able to speak.

Loki tried to read her face, but it was hard. Frigga, while being so wise, had always been a little aloof. It was almost like she was wandering on another plane of existence. Her face, though, was now riddled with sadness, her shoulders which were normally held proudly sunken down. She seemed to be lost for words.

"Mother…" Loki tried, then halted.

Frigga smiled lightly. "You still call me that. What an honor. Loki, I…"

As Loki looked at Frigga, he noted that they were nearly the same height now. Soon, he would be just as tall as she was and then taller still. Frost Giants grew their entire life. Would he do that as well? Or maybe not. He was a half breed.

There were so many questions, and yet every answer seemed to be a horrifying one. Still, Loki had decided that he would rather have the brutal answers than be kept in the dark, and so he met his mother's eyes.

"You didn't know, did you?" Loki asked.

"I grew up in a wooden cottage far away from civilization," Frigga said. "It was only my sisters, my mother and I…. I knew not of what was happening in the world. We did not concern ourselves with that, only spending every day weaving our magic…. Then one day, a man came wandering alone. He was tired, beyond exhausted. He had seen so many horrors and wished for escape. Any escape. My heart went out to him. I could sense the despair and sadness in this man, the hopelessness. My mother told me not to get involved, but I desired to help. I allowed him shelter in our house, a place to rest…. I had no idea that the man was a king."

"Is that how you met?" Loki asked.

Frigga nodded. "It is," she affirmed. "Only later was I informed of his former wife. Like others, I could only assume she was dead. Odin desired but one thing, to start afresh. To forget the past and forge a new future. He was nearly desperate."

"The world doesn't work that way though. In the end, the past always catches up to us." Loki shook his head.

"Indeed," Frigga said with a nod. "Loki… I understand. I won't ask you to forgive your father. However, you should at least make peace with him before—" she bit her lip.

Loki turned to her.

Frigga swallowed. "We are gathering all the necessary tools. At the next lunar eclipse… we shall perform the ceremony, so that you may break free of the shackles your birth mother placed upon you." At that her eyes turned wet.

"What in that can bring you sadness? I will be free," Loki said.

"Oh, Loki." Frigga sighed. "Only the fewest have ever succeeded in breaking their own fate, and with failure it… it could shred your mind to pieces! It must be done. However… Is it so wrong that I am terrified? I do not want to lose my child!"

Loki looked at Frigga. This was serious. If he failed in what he was about to do, he most likely wouldn't die. He would go insane. Completely and utterly insane and be a slave to the fate that would bring Ragnarök. As he looked at Frigga, he could only sympathize with her fear. Then slowly he moved closer, gently sweeping a tear away from her eye for her.

"I nearly have many times before… gone insane. When… when I first realized my hands were blue and my eyes red… I was afraid I had lost it. And there were times after that as well. But I am still here." He took Frigga's hand, holding it tight as they stood. "I promised Thor I would be there to help him. I cannot just lose myself now."

Frigga swallowed, tears rolling down her face. She picked up Loki's hand, pressing it against her own cheek so she could feel it. "I cannot bear to think it… your mind. Your wonderful, clever, insightful mind." She looked into his eyes as tears freely flowed down her cheeks.

Frigga had cried a lot lately, Loki realized, and she rarely cried over anything. She was mostly just an observer, accepting what she saw. However, when her children were concerned, it was different. Loki found himself closing his eyes, feeling his hand on Frigga's face. Then he leaned over to rest his forehead on hers.

"Mother, I've read about those kinds of curses as well," Loki breathed. "If I do not break free, I shall go insane regardless. It will merely take more time, but the result will be the same. This way, at least there is a chance I won't. If nothing is done, it shall happen."

"I know," Frigga murmured. "Still, I am selfish. If I could have you for just a little longer… Hold you for just a little longer."

"Mother, I…" Loki swallowed, then suddenly let go only to swoop in and embrace Frigga tightly. "It has begun already. Do you not see?" he asked with tears in his eyes. "I'm… I'm going insane! Who am I? What am I? What is my role here? The whispers in the corners… I swear, I hear them talking of me, of what manner of destruction I bring. And yet when I walk to confront them, there is no one there. It is all in my head. If it wasn't for you and Thor… Mother, I don't want to go insane!" His voice broke. "I have felt the jealousy and bitterness inside of me. The knowledge that I was different. It made me… want to hurt people. Even hurt Thor… but I do not truly want that! Mother, I don't want—"

"Ssssh," Frigga gently whispered, stroking Loki's hair. "If that is what is in your heart, sincerely, a wish not to hurt, it will be alright," she stated. "Just remember who you are."

"That's it, though, is it not?" Loki asked. "Who am I exactly? Yord's desperate plan for revenge? Laufey's great shame? Odin's badly kept secret?"

"My beloved son," Frigga breathed. "Thor's adopted brother. Though the point is breaking free of your fate, of others' plans for you. Hers… mine… Odin's… all of them. Find your own path." She pressed a hand against Loki's chest as she stood back. "So, let's see… You are cunning, intelligent, perceptive, curious, knowledgeable." She smiled. "Your mind was always your greatest—" She halted.

Loki closed his eyes.

"Also brave," Frigga continued. "Hard working, dedicated. A streak of rebelliousness was always part of your core. You are Loki. You are you and no one else."

"Mother, I…" Loki began. "I am glad that you were the one… who became my mother," he said at last. "I love you."

Frigga swallowed. "And I love you, my dear son. No matter what happens. Whatever the outcome may be, I will still be your mother."

"Even if I lose my mind and go insane?" Loki asked.

"Even then." Frigga nodded.

"Even if I start raving and ranting like a madman, talking about destroying and killing?" he questioned.

"Even then," Frigga affirmed again.

Loki smiled lightly. "That is good to hear." His smile turned a little sad. This time it was Frigga sweeping a tear away from his eye. "You know, I rather get the idea that no matter what happens, I shall never be rid of you or Thor."

"That is what family is." Frigga smiled.

"Odin though… He has already done it once before." Loki swallowed.

"And it haunts him to this day. Many nights he lays restless, shadows of the past disturbing his mind. Odinsleep is the only true rest he has experienced for our entire marriage." Frigga admitted.

"Really?" Loki asked. "I… I didn't know."

"He did not wish you to know," Frigga said. "Loki, there is a month until the eclipse. Make peace with Odin before then. You do not need to forgive him, only to make peace with him."

Loki sighed. "For you then, Mother."

"Well, I will make due with that." Frigga smiled sadly.


	23. Lokis demand

It was a strange month.

Loki and Thor had done their best to explain things to the warriors three and Sif, or at least the basics of the curse and what had to be done. The four warriors clearly had a hard time wrapping their heads around it, but they knew the situation was anything but good.

Also, it was clear that Loki was distressed, and he once again needed their support. When asked what they could do to help him, Loki had very honestly replied that he desired normalcy. He just wished to go about their normal duties and chores, to have normal game evenings and not to talk of the past or future. No talk of Jotunns or former queens or curses or madness. He simply wanted to do the things they had always done. The warriors, once again, had a hard time wrapping their heads around it but nodded their agreement and did as they were asked.

So, Loki went about his chores as prince. He practiced combat with his friends, played games of cards or dice in the evening, read a few books in the afternoon. Went to the mountain, but only for one single day. And suddenly, the lunar eclipse was only a week away.

He kept putting it off, but he had made a promise to his mother. He could not break it.

Loki found Odin in the halls of history, grand paintings of the peaceful times of Valhalla adorning the ceilings and walls, showing how they had grown their fields, built their houses and brought peace to the realms. They were uplifting stories, but Loki had started to figure it out. It was all surface painting. Scratch it and much darker and messier secrets were hidden underneath. Loki probably still only knew a fraction of it.

And there Odin was, gazing at the paintings above him, his eye distant as if he were seeing not the painting but things hidden beneath it. Loki cleared his throat. Slowly, Odin turned to him offering Loki a weak, rather sad smile.

"My son, it is a pleasant surprise to see you."

Loki inhaled deeply. He could not deny that he had been avoiding Odin this last month. Whenever he had spoken to him, it had been in cold, formal tones. "Well," he said, "there remains but one week until the lunar eclipse. Tomorrow I shall join Thor and our friends on a hunt. When I return, I do not wish to waste time or energy on loose ends."

Odin nodded seriously.

"I have not forgiven you," Loki informed him. "I do not know if I have it in me to do so. It is not that you found me and brought me home. That is admirable. It is not that you were involved in a dark past. It is that you somehow didn't see fit to tell me all of these things that deeply concern me. My past and future. I had a right to know!" he exclaimed.

Odin closed his eye. It was clear, though, that he absorbed Loki's words.

"Even if the truth is hard to bear, even if it is terrible, which, yes, it was, you had no right to keep it from me. Not any of it," Loki said.

And Odin looked up then nodded solemnly. "I am sorry, Loki," he breathed. "I failed as a father and as a king."

"It's laughable, you know?" Loki asked in a broken voice. "They call me Liesmith, but I have never… How could I even forge such a massive lie? Truly, yours is a masterpiece to behold. How many have been fooled, Father? By this beautiful falsehood?"

Odin sighed deeply. "Too many," he admitted. "I will not ask your forgiveness. I have no right to do so."

Loki swallowed. "Father… if you truly regret your actions, if you concede that you owe me, swear to me to do what I now ask, if the need arises."

"Loki, I cannot swear if I do not know what I am swearing to," Odin stated.

"Father!" Loki shouted. Then his voice grew soft. "Promise me."

Odin was quiet, and then he nodded. "Yes, Loki."

Loki swallowed. "At the lunar eclipse, we will perform the ceremony. I shall either break the chains of fate or become a slave to it," he stated. "A mindless puppet controlled by the strings of fate with no will of his own, yet he will find reasoning in his madness. If I fail, that is who I become."

Odin frowned, his mouth becoming a thin line. "I know what you desire to ask. I will not do it."

Loki smiled slightly. "You will not kill me. Aye, I assumed as much." He nodded. "That is why Hela still lives, although killing her was likely the right thing to do, if what you say is true. I suppose you don't want anymore blood on your hands, least of all the blood of your own children." He looked up, his gaze firm. "But you will lock me away."

Odin was quiet, his body motionless.

"Father!" Loki cried. "If you truly care about me, if you have ever loved me like you claimed, you will do this for me. Lock me away. Far away. Do not allow me to start Ragnarök!"

Odin closed his eye. "My locking you away may be the exact thing which begins Ragnarök. Fate is a fickle thing like that."

"But it will keep me away from Laufey. I am supposed to kill him first. Am I not?" Loki asked. "Kill Laufey, become Odin's bane, bring about Ragnarök."

"The order is not set in stone, Loki. I told you. Yord was never allowed specifics." Odin sighed.

"If I fail… I shall cease to be myself. I'll be a puppet… Don't let this puppet soil my name. Don't let him hurt Thor or Mother. Father, I am asking you to do this. For me. Please!" Loki begged.

Odin's expression was grave. Then slowly he stepped towards Loki and fell to his knees. "I swear, Loki Odinson, Prince of Asgard on my honor as king!" His hand tightened around Gungnir. "Should you fail in your task, the man who takes your place will be locked away."

Loki swallowed thickly, but his body relaxed. "Thank you."

Slowly, Odin stood up and met Loki's eyes.

"Thor will not understand," Loki informed him. "His faith in me is still absolute. Chances are he won't understand for quite some time. However, this may help him, if only a little." He handed Odin a green envelope, sealed tightly. "Only if I fail… give this to Thor as you lock me away."

Odin nodded as he carefully took the sealed envelope and tucked it safely into his cape.

Then Loki looked up, his green eyes filling with tears. "Father."

"It is only natural that you are afraid. Only a fool wouldn't be, and you are no fool," Odin said. "To tell the truth… I am scared as well. Please, my son, make it through this. Do not let me lose you too."

Loki sniffed. Then he ran forward and embraced Odin. He hadn't embraced his father in years, yet now he couldn't stop. Gently, Odin stroked his hair. No more words were said. What could they even say? It was a horrible situation with a potential horrible outcome.

Still, Frigga's wish had been granted. Loki had made peace with his father.

* * *

_Edited by Serpina Silver_


	24. Hunting together

"Flank it!" Thor bellowed, and all his companions let out a great shout.

They were chasing a massive beast. Even on horseback, the beast was in front of them. At Thor's command, they split in two and galloped across the field with the wind in their hair, laughing.

"There are mountains to the west," Hogun informed them. "We can corner it there."

"This way!" Sif shouted, and they rode in formation to guide their prey in the correct direction.

"Loki," Fandral said with a smirk, "I'll wager you cannot strike the kill shot."

"Don't be so sure. I have been practicing some new tricks." Loki grinned back.

"Do not hold back on us now, my prince," Volstagg laughed, amused. "'Tis not fair!"

Loki grinned as they followed suit, and the beast ran towards the mountain where they planned to corner it. Hogun pulled back his bow and took aim as they rode, then managed to hit the beast in the thigh. It screamed.

"I say, good shot!" Fandral called.

"Now it is wounded. We are committed to the hunt," Thor said.

Loki nodded. That was one of their most important rules. When an animal was wounded, you were bound by honor to follow it and make sure it had died so the proud animal wouldn't have to suffer.

The wound did help though, as now there was a blood trail, which they followed to the mountain where the creature seemed to realize it had been caught. The hunters slowed their horses as the beast backed itself against the cliff side.

"Careful," Thor breathed. "It is wild and cornered. It will attack."

Slowly, Hogun raised his bow again with an arrow ready.

"Go for the eye," Fandral whispered. Hogun nodded then let go, and the arrow hit the target, making the beast scream.

The next moment, Loki spread out his fingers, and from the tips shot shards of ice, piercing the beast as if they were daggers.

"Oh, that's what you've been working on?" Sif asked.

Loki nodded. "It's incredibly useful. Now I shan't have to think about retrieving my throwing knives." At that, the beast roared, and they broke formation. "Also, I'll have no fear of running out!" Loki exclaimed as he jumped off his horse and rolled on the ground before getting back on his feet.

"That is useful," Fandral admitted, drawing his sword. "I did always think you must waste a lot of knives throwing them around like that."

"Yes, it was rather annoying when I kept losing them," Loki admitted

The scene evolved into an on-the-ground battle, Sif attacking with her sword, Volstagg with his axe, Fandral with his rapier, Hogun with his bow, Loki with daggers and ice, and of course Thor with his hammer. It was exhilarating as they all moved back and forth. When one was in trouble another would demand the beast's attention. They showed off their moves. Then someone would get overconfident and nearly get slashed, but they would be saved.

Finally, Thor jumped into the air and slammed Mjolnir down, crushing the skull of the beast. It was dead before it hit the ground.

"Alas," Fandral pouted, "it's always Thor who gets the killing strike. You really must give the rest of us a turn."

"Become stronger," Thor replied.

"Next time," Hogun said.

Loki just shook his head. "So… time to set up camp?"

* * *

In the evening all sat around their campfire, laughing as they ate the meat from their own kill. It did indeed taste good after such a hunt. They told tales of several of their previous adventures and discussed their plans for the future. Loki was for the most part quiet, which wasn't like him.

"Don't worry, Brother." Thor grinned. "You will break the chains of fate, and we'll go on another hunt."

Thor was the only one not showing any real worry about what was going to happen. Whether he was just hiding it best, was denying what could happen, or legitimately had that much faith in Loki that he had no doubt of his brother's success was impossible to tell. Loki had a feeling it was a mix of all three. Thor didn't believe that Loki could possibly fail, or he didn't want to believe… or both. Most likely both.

"You know what would help, Thor?" Loki asked.

"What?" Thor asked.

"See up there?" Loki pointed upwards at the mountain. "That cliff there. A species of white flowers grows there that only blossom under the light of the moon. It is said they bring good luck when gifted. You should bring me one."

Fandral snorted. "That is a gift for maidens."

"Up there?" Thor looked up.

"Well, if you don't think you can do it…" Loki shrugged.

"Of course, I can!" Thor exclaimed.

"Forget I said anything. You lack the skill to make that climb and return unscathed," Loki stated.

"I can!" Thor assured him as he stood up. "I shall get it! You'll see!" He grinned, clearly looking forward to the challenge, and then he started to climb. Soon he was out of hearing range.

Sif looked up. "You did that on purpose, Loki," she said. "Are there even flowers up there?"

"Maybe," Loki smirked with a shrug. Then he halted. "Look, in just a few days the lunar eclipse will be upon us. I know that Thor says there is nothing to worry about, but the truth is… hundreds of people have gone through the ceremony, and only a handful came out sane. The odds are not good."

"Then why do it?" Fandral asked. "Loki, you do not have to."

"No, I must," Loki stated. "I am a slave to the fate Yord created. The outcome will be I either remain a slave or break free. I already bear this bondage. My failure would only speed up the process that has already begun. This way at least, I have a chance of changing my fate."

"Loki," Sif breathed.

"I shall not deny the odds, not now," Loki informed them. "I simply want to ask you, if it goes wrong, if I am no longer myself… take care of my brother. I… I hope you will remember me, the way we were today, the way we are right now." He swallowed. "And realize the person I could become… is not who I am right now. The Loki who sits before you… I have no desire to see Asgard fall. I do not wish to harm Odin in any serious way. Nor do I wish to kill Laufey. I do not wish to cause my brother pain. This is what is in my heart now… and if you could remind Thor that these are my true desires… if the worst comes to pass."

Sif reached out a hand, grabbing Loki's shoulder.

Loki turned his head, looking at Sif. "If it goes wrong… he will need you. More than ever."

"It won't go wrong," Sif stated. "But if it does, you have my word," she assured him, resting a hand on her chest.

"And mine," Fandral stated.

"And mine," Hogun and Volstagg both chimed in.

Loki smiled. "You know, I didn't always like you very much. For various reasons. But you have been true friends. I see now why Thor chose you."

"The fault is with us too," Hogun said. "You were right in what you said the night we discovered your Jotunn heritage. You were different… You seemed strange. We did not understand, but that is not your fault. Now we better understand. I for one realize we carry blame as well."

The others nodded.

"Well, it is not your fault that Aesir and Jotunn nature are so fundamentally different." Loki smirked. "I… had to admit that too. What seems loud and messy for me is what you need, and what seems eerily silent and lonely for you is what I need. It's just our nature. I did resent that I could not join you or see what it was you enjoyed so much," he admitted.

"You have joined us though. You are here now," Sif pointed out with a slight smile.

Loki nodded. "Indeed." And he smiled. "I am glad."

"How is this going to work?" Fandral asked.

"Well I…" Loki breathed. "I am going to be put in a sleep… of sorts. That is how it will appear. However, I will be conscious… like traveling on the astral plane."

The four stared at him in confusion.

"I do not know how else to explain it," Loki admitted. "I will be communicating with this curse, with fate. It will do all in its power to make me give into it."

"Torture you?" Sift asked.

"Perhaps." Loki shrugged. "Or tempt me… Or exploit all of my weaknesses, or try to chip away at my mind bit by bit to wear me down. All my fears and doubts will be laid bare. To you, in the real world, it will last at most one night. For me, time will move differently. For me, it could end up feeling like centuries."

"But… is it all going to take place in your head?" Fandral asked.

"Basically, yes," Loki admitted. "It will be a battle of wills… My will against this fate that Yord created."

"No weapons, no backups… no tricks," Sif breathed. "That truly is a terrifying prospect."

"And if you lose…" Hogun trailed off.

Loki nodded. "I'll be an even worse slave of fate. Most likely, I will go insane."

"And is there no other way?" Sif asked.

Loki shook his head. "None. Believe me, if there were…" He swallowed. "That is why I am asking you, begging you to help Thor. If I lose, I will not be worth it anymore. He will need guidance."

"Do not worry about Thor," Sif said. "You have enough worries of your own. Concentrate on yourself."

Loki swallowed. "Thank you. I can now enter this battle more easily."

They all nodded seriously.

Shortly after, Thor came back covered with dirt but with a triumphant grin on his face. "Got it!" he proclaimed, showcasing a red flower.

They all looked at him. Then Volstagg frowned. "Didn't Loki say those flowers were supposed to be white?"

That made Thor's face falter. "What?"

Loki chuckled. "It'll make a good luck charm regardless, I think," he said, reaching out a hand.

Thor blushed, embarrassed, but handed over the flower. Loki moved his hands a bit, and the next moment the flower was encased in solid ice. Then he put it in his pouch, a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth.

Thor shook his head as he sat down. "You know, if you wanted a word with the others without me, you could have said so."

"Oh no, I've been found out!" Loki faked a shocked expression.

"I was serious though," Thor said. "Your trick was a bit obvious, but I didn't want to embarrass you." He leaned back.

Loki looked at Thor. Sometimes, Thor really did show signs of being a hell of a lot smarter than most people gave him credit for.

"Well, whatever you were talking about, I hope you figured it out." Thor shrugged. "Don't tell me… You were planning a surprise hunt!"

Loki shook his head. "Just talking about what a big, dumb oaf you are."

"Well, that's not very nice." Thor laughed, making the others smile as well. Then Thor laid down on his back. "I declare this hunt a success," he said. "And the next one will be even better!" He grinned without a trace of worry or care on his face.

The next one. Loki sighed deeply but didn't comment.


	25. Ceremony start

That morning, Loki staggered out of bed. The night of the lunar eclipse had arrived, the night of…

Loki shook his head. It was no use thinking of it yet. He tried to go on with his usual routine, putting on clothes and making himself presentable. He brushed his long hair, undoing the natural curls he had never been a fan of. He put on his tunic, only to realize he had turned it the wrong way. With a groan, he turned it around.

Just as Loki was fastening his belt, his door opened, and in stepped a drowsy-looking thunder god, his blond hair an utter mess, his eyes droopy as he nearly stumbled.

Loki didn't even turn to look at him. "Forgot how to knock?" he asked.

Thor shrugged. "Slept well?" he finally asked, sitting down.

Loki sighed. "No, haven't managed to close an eye, you?"

"I haven't either," Thor admitted. That much was honestly obvious. "Do you not need to be, you know, well rested?"

"If I feel that I can sleep during the day, I'll lie down," Loki said, barely managing to hide his yawn.

"You will be fine," Thor assured him. "You can do this."

Loki rolled his eyes. Thor's anxiety was now more obvious, and it wasn't helping. Especially because it reflected Loki's own.

Trying to do anything that day was already a lost cause. Several times, Loki tried to read a bit, but he couldn't even get past the first sentence. He desperately wanted to go to the mountains but knew he had to stay. The best he could do was walk around town and then the gardens. Loki started to get tired though and finally laid down in the shadows of a tree, closing his eyes, though his mind still disturbed him. It was a relief when after a long night of being unable to fall asleep, he finally drifted off.

Loki grunted in annoyance as a hand shook his shoulder.

"Loki…" a voice spoke in a hushed tone. "Loki, I'm sorry but—"

Groaning, Loki glanced up to see the blond figure of his brother.

"Urhm, only two hours remain until the eclipse. Mother wants to dine with us before she has to make ready for the ceremony," Thor informed him.

"What?" Loki asked. "It's only noon." He halted. Then he looked up to see that, true enough, the sky was painted deep red from the setting sun. "Oh."

Thor smiled lightly. "It's a good thing you managed to sleep. I did order that no one disturb you."

"Don't tell me you stood guard over me as well just to make sure of that," Loki asked.

Thor blushed. That was answer enough.

Amused, Loki shook his head. "Seriously?"

Thor cleared his throat as he stood up straight. "When entering a great battle, being well rested is key," he recited. "I'm not worried though. You can do this." Thor grinned.

Loki smirked as he stood up. "Then why are you acting like we are having a last meal?"

"What? No, I'm not!" Thor exclaimed. "If anyone can break the chains of fate, it will be you."

"What if I don't?" Loki asked.

"You will!" Thor said. "There is no point answering that question."

"Thor," Loki sighed.

"You _will_!" Thor insisted with true conviction in his voice. "And you know how I know that?"

"No," Loki replied.

"You _promised_ to help me make a better Asgard," Thor stated. "So, if you promised that, you cannot lose. Then you would break your promise, and you wouldn't do that. Your only option is to win!"

Loki couldn't help but snort with laughter. It was such simple logic. So Thor.

Thor smiled, clearly satisfied with himself.

"Thor, do me a favor," Loki asked, holding up a hand.

"Aye." Thor nodded.

"Never change," Loki said.

"Oh, is that all? That one is easy. Sure!" Thor grinned.

And Loki smirked, allowing Thor to guide him inside.

They managed to keep the meal mostly light spirited, though it couldn't be denied there was a shadow cast upon the entire affair as the sun sunk and the sky grew dark. Finally, the entire family walked together to the chamber of meditation and magic that had been made ready. Loki went to a different room and changed out of his green royal garb and into a very simple white robe of pure silk, meant to free his energy. Then he joined the others. Looking around, he took in the sight of the marble table, which he was going to be lying on, runes carve all across it, specifically for this night.

Frigga walked over to Loki and gently tugged a strand of black hair back into place. Then she bowed over and kissed his forehead. Odin put a firm hand on Loki's shoulder and offered him a nod then a short embrace, before it was Thor's turn. Thor couldn't keep it together any longer. He swallowed and then swooped in, giving Loki a crushing hug.

Loki smirked deeply as Thor let go. Then he turned to Sif and the warriors three, who all stood and bowed respectfully in their shining armor.

"Come now, everyone is acting like I am facing a final battle," he stated. "I'll only be challenging the curse of a foolish old woman who has been dead for hundreds of years."

They all smiled lightly, but it was clear it was to hide their worry.

"I'll see you on the other side then," Loki stated as he climbed up on the table and laid on his back.

Odin and Frigga both moved towards his head.

"Loki, you understand what is going to happen?" Odin asked.

Loki nodded. They had gone over it many times. "A powerful sorceress crafted my fate with her magic. I am to challenge the fate she decided for me."

"You understand that if you fail, you will be a slave to her curse. Your mind could be shredded to pieces."

"I understand," Loki replied solemnly. "However, I would rather challenge my fate and lose than play along and let her have her way without a fight."

"You are not alone in this fight, Loki," Frigga whispered. "We will be with you the entire time, please remember."

Loki smiled lightly. "I know. Thank you."

"Then… sleep," Frigga whispered. Her hands glowed slightly as she placed them gently on Loki's forehead.

Loki grew drowsy. He took a last glance at all the people in the room, then closed his eyes, and he was gone.

Thor swallowed but stood still as the runes on the table started to glow with a white light. Then, as the light hit Loki, something was revealed that no one seemed to have noticed before.

Chains.

Chains from a dark magic, only visible from the light of the runes, wrapped around Loki's hands and feet, crawling over his arms and neck as well.

"That is indeed Yord's magic," Odin breathed. "I recognize it clearly."

"These are the chains which must be broken," Frigga said. "Please, my son, the rest is up to you."

* * *

_Loki glanced around. He knew this room, knew it so well. The throne room of Asgard. The big throne, the big golden pillars, the illustrations. He knew every inch of this room. Only one thing was out of place._

_In front of him, on the throne was a beautiful woman. Her long, black hair fell down her shoulders, ending in elegant curls. Her gown was long and deep green, matching her eyes. Her lips were ruby red. Then she opened her mouth and spoke in a voice that was smooth as the softest velvet._

"_Oh… Loki. My son," the woman said, a tear appearing in her eye. "At last! At last you are here." She reached her arms toward him as she stood up. "I've waited for so long!" she cried._

_Loki didn't move from where he stood, gazing at the woman with a cold expression._

"_Oh, just look at you. You're perfect." The woman smiled. "Like I knew you would be. My beautiful son."_

_Loki frowned. "Yord," he replied. "Or rather what remains of her. Her curse."_

"_Curse?" the woman asked. "Is that what Odin told you? No, no not a curse. Don't you see? A blessing." She stepped forward. "I wrote your fate so that you would be protected. You think it was by chance that Odin felt compelled to go and find you? The fate I wrote is protecting you. You cannot die before your fate has been fulfilled."_

"_Before I have become a killer, a bringer of Ragnarök?" Loki accused._

"_Laufey is an evil, cruel man. As long as he lives, Jotunheim will never recover. Due to his stubbornness, they are left to rot," Yord explained. "You are going to save them. As the son of Laufey, it is your right to take the throne. You can save the realm."_

"_And what of Asgard?" Loki asked. "You would have me bring Ragnarök to that realm."_

"_Asgard cannot be saved," Yord countered. "There is too much blood on their hands! Odin may try to cover it up with pretty lies, but as long as Asgard stands, the nine realms shall never have peace."_

"_So, you would have me save the remaining eight realms by destroying Asgard?" Loki asked. "That is poor logic. You are insane!"_

"_Oh Loki, has Odin turned you against me?" Yord asked, reaching a hand for Loki's face only for him to slap it away._

"_Hardly, you did that," Loki informed her._

"_But you barely even know me," Yord breathed as she moved to stand behind Loki, placing her hands on his shoulders. "Don't you see?" she asked. "Your potential is greater than Thor's, greater than Odin's… greater than anyone's. You, you are the one, the only one who can unite all the realms. Sit on the throne, and all people will bow to you."_

_As she spoke those words, Loki suddenly found himself sitting on a large golden throne. In front of him were legions of people of all sorts, many different races, and all were kneeling with bowed heads. Yord stood behind Loki, resting a hand on his shoulder._

"_Beautiful, isn't it?" she asked. "Look! Everyone loves you. Finally, they all know you are mighty. You are unlike any other! All now finally see, and they love you."_

_Astounded, Loki took it all in, all the people. "This is… what you meant for me?" he asked._

"_Yes." Yord nodded. "This… this is why I birthed you. My son, the savior!"_

_Still a bit stunned, Loki looked at it all. Then he frowned. "No," he stated. As he did, chains appeared around his hands and feet._

"_What do you mean, darling?" Yord asked. "This is your rightful future."_

_Loki stood up, only as he did the chains started to tighten. "Keep it," he replied. "I don't want it."_

* * *

"Loki!" Thor shouted, frightened. Loki had barely gone to sleep before those magical chains started to tighten around his flesh. Now the ones around Loki's wrists had broken his skin, and blood trickled out.

"Thor, stop," Frigga directed. "I know it seems odd, but this is good. That the curse is tightening means that Loki is indeed fighting it. If he did not, the curse would have no reason to react this way."

"This is all it is going to do, isn't it?" Sif asked.

Frigga shook her head. "I am afraid if these chains are to be shattered it will get much worse before it gets better."

* * *

_Loki seethed as he rubbed his wrists. They hurt terribly. His entire body felt as if it were being constricted. He knew that this was the exact thing he had to fight back against._

"_Why do you struggle, Loki?" Yord asked. "You know I only want the best for you. I love you so much."_

"_If you loved me, then why would you ever put such a curse on me?" Loki demanded._

"_I told you, it is no curse. It is a blessing." Yord informed him. "This way, even if I died, I could still be with you. Forever. My first child has been banished to a place where she is now all alone. I could not let it happen again, my second child. I shall be with him forever. He shall never feel such loneliness. His mother is with him. His mother who loves him so."_

"_You're not my mother!" Loki proclaimed. "And your company has outstayed its welcome. You will leave me before the night is out."_

_Yord only smiled. "You would really reject a mother's love?"_

"_You are no mother of mine." Loki said._

_Yord didn't get angry. She didn't even seem sad. She simply smiled, her eyes glistening emerald green. "Of course, you wouldn't think so. You do not know me. Not yet," she breathed. "But I know you. I've been with you. I have always been with you… And I love you. More than words can describe. I am sure that if you only spend more time with me, you will see this too."_

_Loki frowned. He knew this fight had only just begun. In fact, they hadn't really even started yet._


	26. In his eyes

_Bodies. As far as the eye could see… Bodies lying left and right. Several different kinds of armor. Arrows sticking out of their backs. Axes in their chests. Throats slit by swords. Heads bashed in by shields. Now all of these men and women lay still, as two large ravens circled above them, the sound of their croaking the only noise other than the wind._

_The smell of death was in the air, rotting flesh and the iron scent of blood. It made Loki's stomach turn, but he kept walking forward._

"_You have never seen such a sight before, have you?" Yord asked as she casually walked next to Loki._

_He didn't reply._

"_Odin never told you, did he?" Yord prodded. "This was only one of many battlefields he left behind. Land after land, realm after realm he conquered."_

"_He brought peace to the realms. I know the stories," Loki countered._

_Yord looked at him. "You call this peace?"_

_Loki halted. He looked again at the war-torn battlefield, the sharp scent of blood stinging his eyes. Then he turned back only to freeze._

_There, not far from him, was Odin himself, standing tall and proud. He looked so different, with bright blue eyes, far fewer wrinkles and a thick blond mane of hair. There was no doubt in Loki's mind that this was Odin. And next to him… a young woman._

_The woman was slender, and yet she looked strong. Her armor was green and silver, her hair black, her eyes as blue as Odin's. Thor too had Odin's blue eyes, and yet Loki was astounded by the contrast. While Thor's blue was always so warm and sparkling, hers was cold and dead as ice. She held a massive ax, as tall as she was, yet she easily lifted it._

"_Oh," Yord breathed, "my darling… Have you ever met your sister, Loki? She's wonderful, isn't she?"_

_Loki frowned. The young woman… Something was off about her. Her blue eyes were so similar to Odin's, yet they nearly seemed florescent against the dark circles under her eyes._

_Before Odin and Hela was a man, his expression defiant as he sneered._

"_Ulfrich of Alfheim," Odin spoke in a clear tone that carried across the battlefield. "Your army has been defeated. They lie before me now. You have one last chance. Kneel!"_

_The man spat at Odin. "Never!" he cried._

_Hela grinned as Odin gave her an approving nod. Then she kicked the man in the shin, forcing him to bow, and she laughed, raising her ax._

_The next moment, the man was without a head, and Loki turned away._

"_This was the job Odin gave my beautiful daughter," Yord said. "His executioner."_

"_Why should I believe you?" Loki turned to Yord._

_Yord looked at him. "I am not the one with a history of lying to you, am I? Who was it that insisted you were his blood? Who was it who never even dared to tell you of your true species?"_

_Loki hissed as he clenched his teeth then turned again to see Odin clasping Hela's shoulder as he smiled._

"_My dear daughter, one day you shall be the mightiest of all kings and queens," Odin proclaimed. "For you, we shall collect all the realms, and you will rule in glory!"_

_Hela smiled, shining with pride and happiness. "I am only glad I could make you proud, Father. That is all I wish. I wish to make you proud."_

_And Odin smiled, reaching up to cup her cheek, like he had done with Loki before, smiling as his blue eyes glistened. "I love you, my daughter."_

_Loki tried to ignore the feeling rising in his chest. The words were so familiar, and the way Odin said them… This wasn't real though. It was all inside his head._

"_If you do not believe me, why don't you just check for yourself?" Yord asked._

_Loki turned to her. "How could I? This is thousands of years ago, is it not?"_

"_The hall of history in Asgard," Yord informed him. "They have been painted over… The old paintings are still there though. Go see for yourself."_

_Loki swallowed. "It matters not. This has nothing to do with me," he stated._

"_Doesn't it, though?" Yord asked._

_As she spoke, Loki found himself back in the familiar palace. Odin was sitting with Hela, talking and laughing._

"_Hela was everything Odin asked for… She acted on his command, killed so many for his sake… She was strong, stronger than anyone else. The Goddess of Death herself! With her as queen, no one would ever dare to defy Asgard… Odin said he loved her, told her so, declared she was to be the ruler. He promised her… And then he cast her away."_

_And Loki saw it, saw Odin standing there in front of Hela as she was sucked into the void, barely holding onto one of the pillars._

"_Why?!" Hela screamed. "I did everything you asked me to!"_

"_I told you to stop!" Odin demanded._

"_You told me to kill!" Hela retorted. "Without me, you would never have been able to conquer the realms!"_

"_I was wrong." Odin swallowed. "I was wrong to make you do those things."_

"_You! You did this to me!" Hela roared. "I could do it! If you had just let me! I could do it, Father!"_

_Odin closed his eyes as his hand tightened around Gungnir. "Goodbye." His voice was barely even a whispered. "My daughter." With that, he slammed down the spear._

_The next moment, Hela let out a blood curdling scream as she was dragged inside the portal. It closed, and Odin fell to his knees._

_Loki swallowed. However, there was no stopping the tears falling down his face._

"_See how easy it is?" Yord asked. "To cast aside something that no longer suits your needs, to replace it… It's so very easy. Isn't it?"_

_Loki turned and saw Odin, older than before, now holding a baby in his arms, this one blond. He smiled at the young one._

"_Thor… a new, brighter future," Odin breathed. "You shall be the light to guide Asgard to a better tomorrow, my beloved son."_

"_And so, the old history was painted over so that no one could see…" Yord said. "The crimson blood covered in nice gold and blue skies. Let's just wash away the past, forget it ever happened."_

"_Quiet," Loki demanded as he closed his eyes._

"_You can't trust him, Loki," Yord stated. "You know this. He lied to you. He lied to Thor as well. He lied to everyone."_

"_I said quiet!" Loki roared._

_She remained unmoved, smiling softly at him. "Don't worry. I'm here. I was always here."_

"_You are no better than Odin," Loki ground out. "You only want me to be your tool in your petty revenge!"_

"_So you admit Odin is at least as bad as me?" Yord asked, and Loki quieted. "Hela. Hela was his tool. Thor, his new tool, better suited for the new future he envisioned. And you…" She turned her head._

_This time Odin had only one eye, and the new baby he held had black hair._

"_Loki," Odin breathed. "You are the key… Bring peace between our realms. Peace between Asgard and Jotunheim."_

"_He raised you, raised you in his own image," Yord said. "Like he raised Hela in his own image… Then he changed his mind, and she was cast away… When do you think he'll change his mind again?" she asked. "How do you think he will react when you no longer fit into his plans?"_

_Loki's hands tightened into fists._

"_He raised you knowing nothing, letting you suffer so you would better fit into his plans," Yord told him. "Like Hela, who was so much stronger and better than everyone else. If he would only allow her to show her true potential. You, Loki. Your potential is so great. Yet he locked it away, never allowing you to explore your full potential. You could do so much!"_

"_Stop," Loki asked in a broken voice. "Just stop. I don't want to hear it."_

"_Oh, my dear son." Yord reached for him, ready to embrace him._

"_Do not touch me," Loki warned. "I hate you just as much as I hate him! Even more so!"_

"_You wound me, Loki," Yord breathed. "I am only showing you the truth."_

"_You are showing me what you think will make me follow your bidding!" Loki proclaimed. "I shall not yield. I shall not follow the path you laid out for me!"_

"_I only wish for you to gain glory." Yord smiled softly. "Both you and Hela. You deserve it. Oh, my sweet daughter. My poor baby."_

_Loki frowned. The young woman he had seen laughing as she chopped a man's head off hardly look like anyone's poor baby._

"_I never even got to hold you," Yord sighed. "I hope, at least, you will allow me that once before the night is over."_

"_Don't count on it," Loki snarled._

"_You truly are cruel, saying such things to a mother who only wants to hug her baby one single time," Yord said. "Well, I suppose that must come from your father."_

"_You chose him," Loki retorted bitterly._

"_Yes, such a strong, proud man." Yord smiled. "And of a direct line from the strongest Jotunns, Jotunns who were once one with the wind and ice! His family has magic in their cores!" she informed him with that warm smile._

_Loki frowned. "That is the reason why?"_

"_I wanted you to be perfect." Yord smiled softly. "And you are. I chose right."_

_Loki's frown only deepened._

"_That frown doesn't suit you, Loki," Yord said in a teasing voice. "Don't ruin your handsome face like that."_

_Loki only snarled at her though. Yord laughed softly, seeming not to take Loki's attitude seriously at all._


	27. My brother!

Thor couldn't look away. His eyes were fixated on his little brother, those horrible chains all around him, tightening, breaking his skin so drops of blood ran down his wrists. The chain around Loki's throat in particular made Thor feel squeamish. It looked like it could strangle Loki to death at any second. Gently, Frigga dried any traces of blood from Loki's body, humming a calming melody, which Thor recognized as a lullaby she had sung to both of them when they were younger.

"Those chains… They were always there, weren't they?" Sif asked. "We just couldn't see them without the light of those runes."

Thor closed his eyes. He didn't need to reply to that. They all knew the answer. And if nothing had been done, they would have stayed and slowly tightened around Loki over the years.

"I wonder what he is seeing," Fandral said, studying Loki's face, which looked pale and emotionless, white in contrast to his black hair.

"Whatever it is, that is for him and him alone to face," Odin informed them solemnly. "Our only concern is to support him."

Thor walked over to Loki, lying motionless on the table. He looked down at his pale face, then reached down and gently took Loki's hand. "You are not alone, Brother," he breathed. "Remember. We're all here."

* * *

_Loki frowned at the odd sight. Before him was a toddler, a little black-haired toddler, laughing and cheering as strange creatures ran around him, creatures made of ice. They looked like tiny wolves with red eyes, and the toddler laughed as he clapped his small hands._

"_Loki!" a voice shouted. The child looked up to see an old man with only one eye._

_The child laughed. "Da!" He held up his small arms._

_Odin stared at the creatures, running around. One of them had caught a mouse and was now chewing on it. The child laughed again._

"_Cold mice!" Loki pointed at them._

_Odin swallowed. "Loki, what have you…" he started. He didn't seem pleased. He seemed horrified._

"_Cold mice!" the little child repeated again, grinning as his green eyes flashed red and his fingers turned blue._

_Odin sucked in a breath. Then he hammered down Gungnir, and suddenly the small creatures stopped and melted into water with a splash._

"_Huh?" The toddler blinked, confused. Then he started to sniffle. "Cold mice?" he asked, his lip quivering. "Da?" He looked up at Odin with those red eyes filled with tears. Not only were his eyes now red, but slowly, a blue tint had started to crawl across his face._

"_Loki, you must not." Odin swallowed. Then he knelt down in front of the toddler, placing his hands over the toddler's eyes. Closing his one eye, Odin mumbled a few words, which caused his hands to glow. As he removed them, the toddler's eyes were again green and his skin pale. He still looked very confused though. And Odin looked nervous._

_Yord sighed. "So much potential at such a young age," she commented. "How did Odin react though? With fear."_

_Loki didn't know what to say as he looked at the image of Odin picking up the toddler and carrying him off._

"_I don't… I don't remember that," Loki tried._

"_Are you sure?" Yord asked as Loki now saw an older version of himself, a young boy beaming as he flicked his hands to showcase his new trick to Odin._

_From his hands seemed to come a whole flock of birds. They were only illusions but grand, beautiful ones that soared around the throne room. Trees seemingly appearing out of nowhere… horses with wings flying… a true spectacle of grandiose illusions. Frigga beamed as she clapped her hands._

"_Isn't it wonderful?" Frigga asked. "It took me a thousand years to reach that level!"_

_Odin was wide eyed, taking it in. He looked stunned but not happy._

"_All of this," the young boy said, "is but illusion. The next one is not. Look!" He jumped forward, and as he did, his body changed, his hands turning into paws, his ears pointy. The next moment there was a black wolf in Loki's place._

_That made Odin stand up straight, his one eye wide in horror._

"_That I did not teach him." Frigga smiled. "He learned that by himself. I do not possess the power of shape shifting."_

_Wide eyed, Odin looked at Frigga who returned his stair placidly._

"_Odin?" she asked, confusion in her voice._

"_Father?" The wolf had turned back into a boy, and he looked confused as well._

"_That… That was quite something, Loki." Odin smiled, though it was clear his smile was forced. "You have made me proud." His words didn't seem sincere. They seemed like he was struggling to get them over his lips._

_Yord looked at Loki. "This you remember, don't you?" she asked._

_Loki closed his eyes. "I do," he admitted. "And I thought if I just worked hard enough… tried hard enough… became strong enough, he would say he was proud and mean it."_

"_But the stronger you grew, the more powerful you became… the more he feared you," Yord said. "He knew… Odin knew… But he wouldn't say it. Instead, he tried to keep you down. He would not let you explore your full potential."_

_Loki turned away, avoiding Yord's gaze._

"_Unlike Thor," Yord added._

_And there he was, the golden prince himself, wielding Mjolnir, laughing, and Odin beside him shining with pride. "Well done, my son!"_

_Unlike the words used toward Loki, these ones sounded genuinely happy and sincere._

"_Everyone loves Thor, don't they?" Yord asked as Loki saw Sif, the warriors three, the people of Asgard all looking at the golden prince in pure adoration. Loki himself stood behind him, slinking back in the shadows._

"_Even though you are the one with the greater potential… Odin can't let you become more powerful than himself though, can he?" Yord prompted. "So, you must be suppressed until you know your place."_

"_You are full of lies," Loki spat._

"_You remember though, don't you, Loki? This really happened. You were there," Yord insisted._

_Loki seethed. It was true. He did remember._

_All the times he had tried to please Odin but his father barely even replied. All the times he had proudly showcased his progress, but Odin had turned his head away… in fear? In disgust? Loki had done everything to please the man, but it was never enough._

_Never._

_And Thor, against Thor he would always lose. Always lose to Thor… every single time._

* * *

Thor swallowed as he held Loki's hand. The chains… They seemed to be growing thicker, stronger. "Fight, Loki," he urged. "Your life belongs to you alone, not to her."

Then suddenly he noticed Loki's hand tightening into a fist, clenching something. Gently, Thor opened up Loki's fingers and found a small block of ice. Inside it, a red flower preserved.

Thor couldn't contain his amused chuckle. "You honestly still have that?" he asked, then closed Loki's hand around the token again. "I'm here, Brother…. I'm here."

* * *

"_I have no need to win over Thor. I am to help him, not defeat him," Loki stated. "He was there for me in my hour of need. Look!"_

_And a scene appeared, Loki and Thor laying side by side on a cot in a dark room. Loki's skin was blue. He had just found out his true origin and was hiding from the palace guards in that room. Thor was there, speaking in a clear voice with nothing but sincerity in it._

"_If you are Aesir or Jotunn, it matters not. You are still Loki," Thor informed him again with a more secure voice._

_Loki's blue self turned to Thor, his red eyes full of confusion. "Am I though?" he asked._

"_Yes!" Thor exclaimed. "You are Loki, the mischievous one, the nightmare of the nurse maid, mother's protégé, my brother."_

_Loki's other self swallowed._

"_Do you realize the strangest thing about all of this?" Thor asked, and Loki shook his head. "Whoever did this to you… Whoever brought you here and dressed you up as an Aesir… I cannot hate that person. I am thankful. They allowed me to have an amazing brother, and—" his voice broke. "I don't want anyone else. You're the only brother I need."_

_And the image changed to them a few days later outside. Thor laughed as he held Loki up. "My brother!" he beamed with joy and pride. "Isn't it amazing what he can do? Loki, do it again?" he asked. Thor's entire being was shining with honesty. His awe and pride were real._

_And Loki's other self chuckled as he held a gold coin then turned it into three identical ones. "Which one is real?" he asked._

"_That one!" Thor pointed at the coin in the middle._

"_No!" Loki's other self laughed as the only gold coin that didn't vanish was the one on the left._

"_Argh, you got me!" Thor laughed. "I wish I could do illusions."_

_Loki's other self grinned, genuinely happy._

_And the image changed as Thor stood between Loki and a guard. "That is my brother you are talking about!" he stated._

_Image after image. Scene after scene._

"_Brother! Come join us!"_

"_Brother, what do you think of this?"_

"_Brother, you should come!"_

_Brother…_

_Brother…_

_My brother!_

_I love my brother!_

* * *

Suddenly, the chain around Loki's wrist shattered. Wide eyed, Thor looked at it. There were angry marks on Loki's wrist where the chain had been, but it was gone. The rest of him, though, was still chained down, but one… One had shattered, and Thor grinned.

"He is doing it!" Thor shouted. "I knew it! He's breaking the chains of fate! Loki!" he laughed happily.

"Thor, don't be too hasty. Loki has a long way to go yet," Frigga pointed out.

"One step at a time, Mother." Thor smiled. "One chain at a time. You can do this, Brother."

* * *

_Yord did not look pleased. For the first time, she looked slightly angry. Loki, however, was grinning in triumph._

"_That imbecile," Yord snorted._

"_That's my brother you are talking about," Loki informed her as he crossed his arms. "No matter what I do, he simply won't go away, nor will he stop defending me. I could not be rid of him even if I tried. That's Thor for you. He is a stubborn fool, but, well, he is _my_ stubborn fool." He grinned._

"_He is going to leave you behind," Yord warned._

"_Had you said that to me some years ago, I would have believed you," Loki admitted. "Now, however, he has proved differently. His faith in me is absolute. I owe him to return the favor. So…" he spread out his arms, "what else do you have?"_

_Yord glared at him. Then she smirked. "Oh, Loki," she breathed. "We still have time. You have time to embrace your glorious fate."_

_Loki snorted. "Whatever." He shrugged._


	28. Chains of the past

_Loki was starting to get really tired of it, the constant whispers in the background. _

_He was familiar to them, he had heard them growing up. _

_Sif whispering with the warrior three. "Why does Thor always insist Loki has to come with us?!" _

"_I don't know!" Fandral replied. "It's not like he is any help." _

"_And he's kind of weird." Hogun added. _

_Truth be told, Loki was not entirely sure if he had heard that right or not, it sure seemed real right now though, he had to keep reminding himself… I am inside of my own head. This is literately all in my head. _

_Still though, Loki could not deny… All the scenes Yord had shown him where he himself was in the scene, it was all true… he remembered it. _

_Who was to say all the other stuff… Wasn't true. _

_NO! This is what she wanted! _

_Yes, Odin had sealed away Hela he had admitted to it himself! She had committed horrible crimes though… And he had let her do it, for a long time. _

_It seemed pretty unlikely that he hadn't asked her to do it. _

_Loki closed his eyes, trying to shut out the memories…. Trying so hard… Doing everything. _

_Behaved correctly, talked correctly, studied to keep up with Thor… But it was still Thor, Thor whom got the smiles and the praise. _

_The eagerness to greet him, the pride… Odin would proudly showcase all of Thors progress, but none of Lokis, instead he would hide it from the world. _

"_Darling." Yord laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Forgive me… This isn't what I wanted. Laufy was not supposed to kill me. I wanted to raise you… " _

"_With stories of how horrible Odin is no doubt." Loki commented. _

"_With the truth." Yord breathed as Loki turned around. "And with no intention of trying to change you. You are after all, already perfect." _

_Loki closed his eyes, feeling Yords gentle hands on his face, gently caressing him, lovingly. _

"_Perhaps, together we could even have freed Hela and we could have been together! As a family!" Yord smiled. _

_Lokis eyes widened and he stepped back. "NO!" he gasped. "You are only trying to tempt me!" _

"_Yes." Yord nodded. "You deserve only the best, you deserve to step out of their shadow and show the world what you can do. Why shouldn't you aim for that?" she asked. _

"_Well… That… That's not for you to decide!" Loki stated. "I can handle my own fate!" _

_Yord sighed. "A shame really, you really could save them… You've been to Jotunnheim havn't you?" she asked. _

_Loki was quiet but nodded as they now found themselves at that snowy place. _

"_You have the power you know…." Yord breathed "To safe this dying realm… You may be the only one who can. In fact, that seems rather likely." _

_Loki glanced across it, the cold winterscape of a nearly dead world. A world where the inhabitants had to do what-ever they could to survive… or perish. _

_Loki shook his head. "Laufy is king..." _

"_A horrible king, leaving his own realm to rot… You though, are his rightful heir." Yord commented. _

_Loki hissed. "It's not right." _

"_In a world like this…. It is kinder to rely on a necessary evil." Yord breathed and Loki halted, then turned to her. _

"_People on Asgard would call a man like Ymir evil, but you saw… Didn't you? What he brought… in this world. It was desperately needed." she stated. "Still is… A kind man will do them no good, no… They need a man with power and authority." _

"_Hm, a person like me you say?" Loki asked then shook his head. "What would I want with a block of ice like this though?" he asked. _

"_Do what Odin couldn't..." Yord offered. "Re-build it, bring peace, be their savior…. Odin only ever brought death and destruction. Then when he got tired of it hid himself behind grand walls… You can do more…. He wont be happy though. That you out matched him and his own blood… he always feared it." _

_Loki didn't reply, there was truth to that. That couldn't be denied. _

"_Laufy must go for Jotunnheim to flourish ones more." Yord breathed. "You knew this already, you known for a long time." _

"_Removing him though… would be breaking the peace." Loki commented. _

"_What other option is there though?" Yord asked. "Beside… You are not just a prince of Asgard, but also a prince of Jotunnheim, your claim to their throne is just." _

_Loki was quiet, he just looked at the ice landscapes in front of him. _

* * *

Thors eyes widened, the chain around Lokis wrist, it was back! And it looked stronger than before. "Loki!" he gasped. "LOKI! This isn't what you want!" he stated. "Break free!" he asked. "LOKI!"

* * *

_Loki shook his head, it was odd, it seemed like the wind was echoing a voice… But it was so distant. _

"_Asgard… They will only ever accept you as long as you behave and act the way they want you to." Yord stated. "Odin… He only loves you for as long as you serve your purpose… Thor, he likes being your hero. He doesn't want you to rise on your own… He needs his little brother… The young warriors, they only accept you because Thor demands it… Frigga." _

_At that Loki wide-eyed turned to her. _

"_She never even gazed upon your true face." Yord breathed holding Lokis face and Loki already knew, he was blue at this moment. "She tried to change you… To become like her… Like Odin raised you, to be like him… Loki, I only want you to be yourself. I love you." _

_Loki swallowed, a tear running down his blue cold chin. _

"_Oh, my child… My beautiful, wonderful child." Yord slipped her fingers through his hair. "I am so sorry, you had to go through so much sadness. Forgive me… Forgive me for leaving you like that. At least… I could esnure that you would live… and be able to claim what is rightfully yours." _

_Loki shook his head as he stepped backwards, away from Yords hands. _

"_Darling.." Yord breathed. _

"_No… Go away." Lokis voice broke. "This is not what I… What I." _

"_But you do." Yord smiled. "You do want it… Why deny that? You are just doing what Odin, Frigga and Thor wants ones again, but what do you want?" she asked. "You want this… And you can! You can become their hero! And they will kneel, to you!" _

_Loki hissed, trying to calm his burning desire… She was right, he wanted it… And why shouldn't he?! It was his right! _

_Why DID he always have to dance to Odins tune?! He had done it, for all his life, and it had never been enough. _

_Hela had done it, and what had happened to her?! Cast away and forgotten. Spend an entire life time pleasing the man and then what happens when he changes plans?! Loki hissed. Trying to get his feelings under control but he could not deny it it… What Yord said, it was true… It was all true! _

_And Loki gasped as he turned and ran away, ran away from the woman. _

_He was in the palace now, running as fast as he could… Running. _

"_THERE HE IS!" The Einherjars shouted. "JOTUNN SCUM!" _

_Loki hissed as he swirled his hands, change… have to change… Why though?! Why did he have to change?! Wear a disguise! WHY?!_

"_LOKI!" _

_Loki turned to see the blond Thunder god in front of him, hammer in hand. _

"_Where… is… MY BROTHER?!" Thor roared. _

_Loki gasped. "Thor..." he tried. "It.. It's me! I.." _

"_LYING JOTUNN SCUM!" Thor shouted thrusting down his hammer and Loki covered his face with his arms, only as he slowly lowered his arms he realized, they were bound by heavy chains. _

_And in front of him on his mighty throne was Odin himself. "Loki… What have you done?" he asked. _

_Loki hissed. "What have I done?!" he asked. "WHAT DID YOU DO?! ODIN!" he roared. _

"_You will turn back to a proper form, right now! Stop this nonsense magic, and we shall never talk of this again." Odin stated. _

"_Oh… Lock away my true nature so you wont have to look at it." Loki asked. "Pretend like I am a proper little spare. And if I refuse, you'll just send me to go join sister dear. HAH!" _

"_Stop this nonsense." Odin asked. _

_Loki seethed. "My birth right is to be king. Why shouldn't I claim what is my rightful birthright?!" he asked. _

"_YOUR BIRTH RIGHT WAS TO DIE ON A ICE CAP!" Odin roared. _

_There was silence… a deafening silence. _

_Loki smiled lightly. "I see… You saved a poor little defenseless babe… So now you are free to do what you want with him… Make him what you want. And if it doesn't turn out that way… Get rid of him." he looked up. "I see now… Finally… I see." _

_And Yord appeared, standing next to Odin, a smile on her lips as slowly she walked to Loki, then wrapped her arms around him. "Good job… my beautiful… beautiful son." she breathed. "You will change the world… Like I always knew you would." _

_Loki closed his eyes, allowing himself to sink into her soft warm embrace. "Mother..." he whispered. _

* * *

Slowly… Loki opened his eyes, to the faint glimpses of daylight through the window.

"Lo… Loki." a familiar voice gasped.

Loki turned his head and saw Thor wide-eyed looking down at him.

"No! Loki! You can't be awake yet!" Thor gasped. "The chains… They are… They are still there!"

Loki glanced down, to see odd magic chains around him, then he frowned as he sat up.

"Loki!" Frigga rushed towards him grabbing his shoulders. "Dear heart, are you.." she tried.

Loki looked at her, then smiled softly. "I'm doing fine mother." he assured.

There was a tension in the room, clearly people looked apprehensive as he looked around, the warrior three and Sif standing rigid and then, Odin, his blue eye stern.

Loki looked at the old king, then he chuckled, he couldn't help it as he laughed holding his forehead.

"Loki?" Thor asked concerned.

Odin frowned, the wrinkles in his forehead looking deep. "Loki." he spoke in a warning tone.

Then Lokis smile turned to a frown, his eyes dead serious and then, he vanished.

"LOKI!" Thor screamed.

"Teleportation!" Frigga gasped. "He's..." she closed her eyes. "I think he's in the halls of history."

Odins eyes widened. "Is he.."

Thor didn't need anymore though as he ran.

* * *

Indeed, Loki was in the halls of history, looking at all the beautiful pictures showcasing the prosperity of Asgard, how they had build the palace and grown the trees, it told a story of peace and tranquility.

Then Loki lifted his hands, and allowed the outer layer to crack, paint fell down and suddenly other colors emerged.

Red! A woman with a horned helmet wielding her ax, chopping off the head of people on Odins command, they were standing in line…

Blood…. Destruction…. Fire….

"It's true..." Loki breathed as the blue crumbled and the other story underneath was revealed. "It's.. Hah… IT'S ALL TRUE!" he shouted. "Ha-ha… HAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed in hysterics as he fell to his knees. "ODIN! PEACE BRINGER!" he spread out his arms. "HA HA HA! WHAT A JOKE!"

Thor ran in, then wide-eyed stopped as he saw it, gaping as he looked up. "What in the?" he asked.

"Oh, did father dear forget to tell you to?" Loki asked pointing up. "That's our sister right there! HAH! You know what he asked her to do?!" he asked.

Thor shook his head.

"Kill! She killed for him… HE was the one who asked her to do it!" Loki asked. "And she did… On his command, oh she killed… So much so she really developed a taste for it. And then, when _he_ changed his mind. Off she goes to Nifhleheim, still there to this day. Nice fairy tale isn't it?"

Finally the rest came running in.

"Oh hello! The rest has come to join the party. HA-HA-HA!" Loki laughed standing up, only to stagger.

"By the norns." Fandral gasped looking at Loki. "He's… He's gone mad."

Loki though grinned, not even aware his grin really looked mad, his black hair falling down his face not helping as he staggered forward. "Mad?" he asked. "No… Finally I see clearly." he laughed.

"Loki! It's not over you can still break free!" Thor gasped. "Free of Yords curse."

"What curse?!" Loki asked. "It's a blessing! It has kept me safe! And ensured that I shall be able to claim what is rightfully mine! Thanks to her! I will not die until my fate has been fulfilled!" he grinned spreading out his arms as he looked up at the ceiling. "Oh mother! Mother has protected me! Always!"

"Loki." Odin stepped forward.

Loki only sneered at Odin.

"Search your mind." Odin tried. "This is not you talking… This is not what you desire."

"As if _you _have any idea what I want." Loki snarled. "And if you did, as if you cared… Well, now let them see. Let them ALL see what you tried to hide." at that his skin turned from pale to blue, his eyes from green to red. "No longer Odin." he held out a hand. "Will I be your tool!" and from his hand sprung a blade made of Ice, then he grinned as he ran straight for Odin.

"LOKI!" Thor shouted.

"Stand back!" Odin demanded as he blocked the blade with his spear.

"Loki!" Frigga cried.

Loki though didn't seem to hear anything as he just laughed and attacked again, and Odin blocked.

"PROTECT THE KING!" Sif suddenly shouted pulling her sword.

"NOO!" Thor screamed but it was to late as suddenly all four young warriors came running to their kings aid. "STOP!" Thor shouted. "DON'T HURT MY BROTHER!" he ran forward.

"Thor!" Frigga grabbed her oldest son shoulders. "Don't."

"Mother." Thor turned to him with tears in his eyes. "It's not to late! He can still.."

Frigga shook her head. "Beloved… Stand back."

Loki was an impressive fighter managing to keep his stands, but they were still five against one and finally he was subdued brought to his knees as he snarled and spat.

Sadly Odin looked at him, then fell to his knees, only for Loki to spit at him.

"Loki..." Odin breathed. "Remember, only a few days ago… You asked me to do something for you." he swallowed. "You made me promise."

"I was a fool, still fooled by your words." Loki seethed.

"You were in your right mind." Odin informed. "And I will honor my sons wishes." a tear formed in his eye and then fell down his cheek.

"Father.." Thor breathed, but it was to late as Odin drew forward a glowing hand. "Father… NO!" he shouted.

Then Odin touched Loki and the next moment, the dark haired prince was gone.

"NOOOOO!" Thor shouted running forward.

"THOR!" Sif managed to grab the Prince. "Stop it! It's what he wanted!"

"Where did you send him?!" Thor asked. "WHERE DID YOU SEND HIM?!" he roared.

"Don't worry Thor, he is not far away." Odin assured. "Merely the prison cellar, that's all."

"HE HASN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG!" Thor shouted. "You can't do this!"

"He asked me to Thor." Odin informed sternly and Thor halted. Then Odin reached in this cape, and found a letter… a green envelope with a tight seal. "He asked me to give you this as well." he informed offering Thor the letter.

Wide-eyed Thor looked at Odin, then the sealed letter, he took it with a shaking hand, then broke the seal and pulled out a piece of parchment.

The writing on it… It was so familiar, Thor would recognise it anywhere.

Neat and orderly, Lokis hand writing and slowly, he started to read.

* * *

_Dear brother, if you read this, it means I failed my mission._

_It means I were not able to break the chains of fate, and the person you see in front of you is not me. _

_It is a puppet, a poor mindless thing bound to the strings controlled by a dead woman. _

_It may look like me, it may even sound like me… But it's not me. I am me, in this letter. _

_If this is what is to happen, I asked Odin to lock me away. _

_In truth, what I really wanted to ask him was to kill me if I am to turn into a puppet, but I knew Odin would refuse. And you wouldn't let him. _

_Thor… I know your faith in me is unwavering, you have proven that already many times over. _

_Then, I ask of you now, as I am by my full senses… Don't let that other me soil my name! Don't let him hurt you or create irreversible damage. _

_If you have faith in me, have faith that I know what I am saying… You must allow Odin to lock me away! And you cannot act to free me! _

_Thor… I ask your forgiveness. You asked my help, in the future, to make a better Asgard. I promised I would help. _

_You reading this letter, means that that promise has been broken. I'm sorry. _

_Thor, I don't want you to stop. I want you to go on without me and become a great king! _

_Remember the brother you lost, remember our times together, and how grateful I am for all you given me. _

_Forget about the sad creature before you… Lock him away and don't look back. He isn't me. _

_My last few years has been… difficult. There were many things I thought I knew I did not… One thing though was a constant. I was never even allowed to doubt, you wouldn't let me. _

_Not even now, there is not a single doubt in my mind… That I am your brother. _

_And for that, you have my eternal gratitude. It has been an honor, to be your brother. _

_I hereby release you from that bond… you are the sole heir to the throne now. Be strong, move forward. Don't look back. _

_Loki. _

* * *

Thor was shaking, his entire body was shaking as he dropped the letter and it fell to the ground, then he dropped this knees, tears ran down his face. "No..." he breathed. "Loki… NOOOOO!" he shouted grabbing his face as thunder erupted outside and then… a heavy rain.

"Thor." Sif sat down beside him.

"He's not dead!" Thor gasped. "He's… He's right there!" he gasped. "He hasn't done anything! He was… Right there."

Sif swallowed, then slowly she leaned forward and embraced Thor. "I know." she assured.

What more could they say… What was there to say?

Loki was gone and yet he wasn't gone… How do you wrap your head around that? How… How do you proceed?


	29. One chance!

In the halls of history, a figure was standing… a prince with golden hair and a red cape, wide eyed looking up.

It was hours ago now, that the horrible outcome of the ceremony had been revealed.. Thor had been exhausted, he hadn't slept two nights in a row, Sif had managed to get him to bed, yet Thor hadn't believed he would be able to sleep… As it turned out though, exhaustion had overwhelmed him.

As he had woken, he had walked… with zombie like steps, back to these halls… layers of dust and fallen bricks were laying by his feet.

Guards had been placed outside and said that Thor was not allowed inside, the look Thor had given them, had to be something else… because they had yielded to the young prince.

Now he stood there, wide-eyed looking up… At the figure, the woman with the horned helmet, all the people kneeling, the people who refused loosing their heads… the realms in ruin… rivers of blood, displayed with grandeur as if it was something to be proud of.  
And suddenly Thor remember, all his own boasting and yelling that he wished to go to war, to slay beast and prove his worth. He felt sick... sick to his stomach. He wanted to vomit.  
Thor had said it so easily, thinking only of the glory not of... This! And it had been here! Right here!... All his time.

Hidden… Hidden beneath the beautiful serene pictures that Loki had torn down.

A person stepped in behind him… Thor didn't even need to turn to know who, the foot steps were heavy… slow… followed with the sounds of a spear used as a cane as Odin walked in.

"You did this…." Thor breathed looking up at the ceiling. "This… This is the true history of Asgard… YOU DID THIS!" he roared turning to Odin.

Odin was quiet, he said nothing, his face though looked so tired.

"What chance did Loki have?!" Thor asked. "When this… THIS is what he was fighting against!" he cried. "You gave his curse what it needed! YOU DID THIS!" he shouted.

Again, Odin didn't reply, just stood.

"And her!" Thor pointed up. "She's my sister… I have a sister! She was meant to be the next ruler! Not me! SHE is the rightful ruler of Asgard! All of this… This was you… This was all _you._"

"I… wanted the future to be different." Odin breathed.

"So you just cover up the past?!" Thor turned to him. "Pretend like it never happened?! Hide the things that doesn't fit into the image you are trying to paint! Are you even surprised Loki has been driven insane. This would drive _anyone _insane!"

Odin took a step forward.

"Do _not _step any closer!" Thor demanded. "I don't know you… I don't even know who you are! You can't just… You can't just hide this!" he gestured up. "And… try to replace her… That's what I am isn't it? Just a replacement."

"No Thor." Odin tried.

"Stop." Thor asked. "What-ever you want to say, I don't want to hear it. Not now." he stated. "And this.." he pointed up. "Know that if you intend to cover it up again, you might as well not bother. I've seen it already! And this time… We wont just forget." and then he walked, walked straight past Odin and outside, outside where he ran.

Thor was not sure to where though suddenly he was by the door to Lokis chambers… Though Thor knew, Loki wasn't in there. He was in a cell in the dungeons…. For how long was Loki going to stay there.

It wasn't right! Yes Loki had asked for it, but he hadn't done anything… not yet.

"Thor..." a soft female voice spoke, a voice belonging to the other parent.

Thor hissed. "You want me to calm down as well?" he asked.

"No… You are in your right to be furious." Frigga informed and Thor turned to her, his eyes wet.

"What father has done… It's unforgivable." Thor swallowed.

Frigga looked down, but then glanced up. "It is." she agreed. "But, it is _not _your burden to bear! His actions are his own, not yours!"

"Loki..." Thor swallowed.

"Is not gone." Frigga stated and Thor looked at her. "Thor listen to me!"she reached forward grabbing his shoulders. "The ceremony is not done! Loki has yet to win or loose! The battle is ongoing!"

Thors eyes widened. "What?"

"His chances are slim, but they are not nothing!" Frigga stated. "How-ever, if he is to win, he _needs_ you!" she stated. "Loki has no trust in Odin, why would he? Odin has given him no reason to trust him… Loki also doubt me, I do not blame him. I kept many horrible secrets from him… You though, you are the only one who has yet to break his trust! He has no reason to distrust you! But all the reasons to believe you… That's why. That's why you are the only one whom can reach him now!"

Thors eyes were wide as he gasped for breath.

"It is not going to be easy." Frigga informed. "Loki will look for a reason to not trust you! He will try to prove his point, that no one can be trusted. Even if it means tricking you! It is important that you remember, the Loki you remember is indeed the true Loki, but so is the person in front of you. He is also the real Loki! They are _both _parts of Loki! If you deny that, you will prove his point that your former behavior was fake."

Thor swallowed.

"Breaking the chains of fate doesn't mean Loki wont ever do evil." Frigga breathed. "How-ever, it means the _choice _to do so is his!" she stated. "It is about giving him the _choice _of how to live his life!"

Thor nodded. "I… Understand." he stated. "Thank you mother, I wont let him down."

"I know dearest heart." Frigga smiled softly. "This may though be harder than you think."

"What-ever I am to go through, it wont be nearly as hard as what Loki has gone through already." Thor stated.

Frigga smiled sadly, but didn't seem to disagree.

Thor was determined, this was _not _over! What-ever it took, he _would _reach Loki! Nothing was going to stop him.


	30. Visiting Loki

Thor took in a deep breath, fixing his cape, slipping a hand through his hair… Standing on the top of the flight of stairs which let to the prison cellars.

He tried to calm his body… Thor wanted to see Loki, though it was hard to suppress.

It had only been so short, yet Loki, he truly had looked mad. His grin wide, his eyes shining, and that laughter.

As if he had just heard the worlds funniest joke no one else could hear… Still, he was Loki. He was his brother.

Thor owed him! So he took in a deep breath and started to walk down the stairs, soon the cellars came into view, and the first cells… These though were low security with small time criminals.

The guards look at Thor, and Thor straightened up trying to make himself as tall as possible, as he cleared his throat.

"Prince Thor." An Einherjar bowed for him. "The Queen said you would come."

"Ah." Thor spoke, surprised over his own calmness in his voice. "Then you must know why I am here."

"Aye… the deepest cell." The Einherjar nodded. "None has been allowed to go in there other than the royal family. The Queen though said to let you through… Who's in there?" he asked looking up.

"If the king and Queen thought you shouldn't know, then what makes you think I am allowed to tell you?" Thor asked.

"Forgive me my prince." The Einherjar bowed his head. "This way your highness." he gestured showing the way.

Thor was lead downwards, towards a big hall and a big door then the Einherjar turned. "We have forbidden to go any further." he informed.

Thor nodded, swallowing slightly. "Thank you." he breathed then finally faced forward, and pushed the heavy door open, stepped through and let it close behind him.

Inside were… empty cells. White, with no furniture, neither was the force fields up, there was no need to… they were all empty.

Slowly Thor walked forward, deeper and deeper down until finally he found one solitary cell with the force fields up, and inside of it… One black haired prince of Asgard laying on his back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling.

"LOKI!" Thor gasped running forward.

Loki turned his head so he could glance at Thor.

"Loki." Thor swallowed. "Are you… Are you hale?" he asked. "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner I.."

Loki sat up, swinging his legs from the bed as his green eyes looked at Thor. "Even down here I could hear all the thunder outside." he admitted in a slight smirk. "Did you destroy the halls of history?"

"I was…. It was kind of close." Thor admitted in a deep blush.

Loki chuckled amused collecting his feet under him. "Quite an image wasn't it?" he asked. "A shame you couldn't see the real thing… The battlefield of old."

"You saw that?" Thor asked.

Loki nodded. "I did… and I saw her… Hela. I saw Odin praising her for killing those people, I saw him promising her the world… And I saw him casting her away. I saw all of it."

Thor closed his eyes, then walked forward, reaching up a hand, touching the force field.

Loki though didn't move to mirror the motion.

Then Thors hand tightened in a fist, and he slammed it into the force field in anger.

"Hurts… Doesn't it?" Loki asked.

"Aye." Thor breathed. "It hurts…. A lot." he looked up. "Was anything father ever told us true?"

"I doubt it." Loki commented. "Well, he is not even my father. So what do I care?" he asked in a shrug.

"Am I then not your brother?" Thor asked and Loki looked at him, his green eyes puzzled. Thor smiled sadly. "We are still brothers." he assured.

Loki frowned annoyed.

"Is there something I can do for you Loki?" Thor asked.

"You could let me out." Loki asked. "This is ridicules, I have not committed any crime! This has been fun and all, but I would like to go to my chambers now."

"You attacked Odin Loki..." Thor pointed out.

"So?" Loki asked. "You saw those paintings, he has killed _millions." _

"I know! I know." Thor assured. "It's just… Until we are sure you wont do something you'll regret."

"What? So you think I am mad to?" Loki asked.

"Well..." Thor was pressing his index fingers together. "You were… Kind of laughing like a madman… And erhm."

Loki seethed, his anger clearly rising.

"Loki…. " Thor wet his lips, then reached into his cape and pulled out a green envelope with a broken seal. "You gave this to father. So he could give it to me… You asked that I." he swallowed. "That I go on without you."

Lokis eyes narrowed. "I was _really _an idiot saying all that stuff before the ceremony." he muttered. "I suppose that was Odins plan! Make me say all those things before I saw the truth for myself."

"That I do not know, one thing I do know how-ever." Thor held forward the letter where Loki could see it, and then… Thor ripped the letter into two, he ripped it again, tore the letter into pieces and dropped it on the floor. "I will _not _ignore our bonds as brothers!" he stated. "I will _not _act like you are dead when you are clearly alive!" he stated stepping forward, slamming his flat hands on the force field. "Don't make me get in there just so I can beat the you up for asking such a ludicrous thing!"

Wide-eyed Loki looked at him, then he smirked, and he chuckled. "Oh Thor." he shook his head. "Stubborn oaf as always!"

"You don't want to bring Ragnarok! I don't believe it!" Thor stated.

"And why not?" Loki asked. "How could you possible know what I feel?!"

"I don't know! I can't even imagine!" Thor hissed. "Having to hide your own nature for so long. Doing all in your power to be a good prince… And yet you were still different and you were aware of it. Every day... Even after we found out about your Jotunn heritage, you still did what you could to act appropriate, you were still forced to hide. No I can't imagine! But I do sympathies." Thor swallowed. "You are angry right now! I get it! But acting on your anger wont help you. It will only make you suffer further in the future!"

"Angry?" Loki asked in a calm voice, then the voice turned to pure venom. "You can't imagine… The burning hatred I feel." he seethed. "You think locking me in here will just make me cool off?!" he asked.

"No." Thor replied. "That's why I am here, so we can talk… Loki! Killing Odin wont solve anything. Bringing Ragnarok wont solve anything." Thor breathed. "All the people who live here now, they weren't alive back then. They have nothing to do with it! They don't even know, Odin lied to _everyone!" _he pointed out.

Loki snarled.

"You love Asgard, you love our culture and history! More than I ever did myself." Thor breathed.

"What history?" Loki asked. "The history Odin made up?" he asked.

"Parts of it has to be true." Thor argued then he halted. Even he could hear how ridicules that sounded and Loki smirked grimly as Thor looked up. "It doesn't have to be that way, you can still the break the chains of fate!"

"But what if I don't want to?" Loki mocked in a childish voice.

"That's not like the Loki I know." Thor commented. "You would really let your fate be decided by a dead woman?" he asked and Loki blinked. "You would really allow yourself to be her puppet?" he asked. "No…. Loki only does what Loki wants… He is no ones puppet. Not Odins, not hers… "

Loki hissed, but it was clear Thor had hit a soft spot.

Thor looked serious, his blue eyes stern.

Then Loki smiled softly. "Oh, so I should stop playing to their tune so I can play to yours?" he asked. "What makes you so different from them? _Thor?!" _he asked.

Thor halted, he swallowed… he knew he had to be careful with this one… This really wasn't any of Thors strengths, he wasn't good at mind games.

But they were Lokis specialty… What could he do? He closed his eyes… Be honest…

Indeed… If he was just always honest, Loki wouldn't be able to get one over him and he looked up again.

"I don't know." He finally admitted.

Loki chuckled. "You don't know?" he asked.

"No." Thor stated. "I guess I am pretty selfish to… I really want my brother beside me." he admitted.

"What if I don't _want _to be beside you?!" Loki asked.

"Then… I don't really have any right to demand that of you." Thor breathed. "Loki… I do want you to stand beside me. How-ever… I only want it, if that is what you choose to do." he stated.

"And if I don't choose that?" Loki asked.

"Then that is your right." Thor smiled a little sadly. "I wont stop you… As long as I know, that choice was yours and _not _some curse."

Loki looked… Honestly stunned, like he couldn't comprehend Thors face, then his brow furrowed. "You really do put on a good show Thor… nearly worthy of Odin."

"You don't believe me." Thor stated in a sigh.

"The mighty Thor saying he'll accept it if he doesn't get what he wants?" Loki asked. "Thor _always _get what-ever he wants! You want me, as your obedient little brother. That's why you are here!"

"I want you to be free to choose your own future." Thor informed. "Even if you break the chains of fate, it doesn't mean you'll just stick by me… Or even do the right thing. It just means… What-ever you do, it'll be your own choice."

Loki hissed, his eyes narrowing.

"Loki." Thor closed his eyes, then his eyes hardened and he looked up. "I am your brother… I'll _always _get in your way." he stated.

Lokis teeth gritted.

"You can't run away from me." Thor smirked.

"I hate you." Loki informed.

"Okay." Thor simply stated, his tone just plainly accepting making Lokis eyes widen. "But is it your own choice to do so?" he asked.

"URGH!" Loki hissed annoyed. "Go away! You're annoying!"

"Of course I am, I'm your brother." Thor grinned.

"I SAID LEAVE!" Loki shouted.

Thor sighed deeply as he shook his head. "Fine." he simply stated. "I suppose I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Do you seriously intend to come here every day?" Loki asked.

"Erh… yes." Thor blinked. "Can I bring you something tomorrow? Books?" he asked. "Are you working on a project I can get for you? Just something, it has to be really boring in there."

"Just get out of my sight." Loki demanded.

"Books then, fine." Thor sighed as he turned around and started walking. "See you tomorrow Loki."

Loki only sulked as he crossed his arms looking away.

Thor though walked with determination, he would see this through! No matter what it took!


	31. Stay true!

The next day Thor had company down the cell, and he was thankful as it wasn't all that easy to transport the huge stack of books.

Truth be told, Thor had no idea which books Loki would prefer right now, so he had just kind of grabbed a bit of everything. Which was why Sif was also here now balancing her own stack.

Also she had kept asking to see Loki, the entire evening last night until Thor had finally agreed, but only her and the other three warriors had to stop bothering him about it.

As they finally reached the solitary cell a blue Loki in his Jotunn shape was sitting in the corner with crossed legs and bowed head. "Hello Loki." Thor greeted him.

Loki glanced up, his currently red eyes looking sourly at them.

"I… I brought books." Thor offered.

Loki didn't reply, but glanced at the books then back at Thor. Just glaring.

"You sure seem chatty." Sif commented.

"Came to have a good laugh Sif?" Loki asked in a mocking tone. "You've been waiting for this your entire life haven't you? A real Jotunn in the dungeons."

Sif looked annoyed back at him. "It's nice to see you to Loki." she informed, then she softened. "How are you doing Loki?" she asked.

"I'm starting to get a bit tired of this play." Loki informed. "I'm being kept here for no reason."

"You are literately in there because you asked we do it." Thor reminded him in a sigh.

"What? When I was in my right mind?" Loki asked. "What makes you think I _weren't _at my right mind then but is now?" he asked. "I was manipulated ones again, to believe I was just destined to do horrible things."

"Loki that's not..." Sif halted.

"yeah, you can't even deny it!" Loki accused. "THIS is what I really am!" he held out his arms. "I am _not _Odins blood, I am _not _a prince of Asgard… All has been a lie. Why should this be any different?!"

Sif opened his mouth only for Thor to hold out an arm in front of her stopping her.

"Don't try to give him a calming lie." Thor asked Sif. "We must be honest with him, _always…_ Even if it would be so nice to just tell him it isn't true. It clearly is though, we must not deny." Thor was determined, Loki wanted them to lie to him. If they lied to him… He would have reason to distrust them. They could not start lying, no matter how appealing it seemed.

Sif closed her eyes. "Be honest?" she asked then she looked up. "You're as annoying as ever Loki!"

Thor turned to Sif.

"What? You think this behavior is new?" Sif asked then turned back to Loki. "Ones again you're acting like you _want _me to dislike you!" she stated. "If you are in your right mind now or not, I don't know!" she admitted. "I don't even know if _I _am in my right mind to be honest. I can't be, I must be insane! In my mind and heart you're still my prince! I don't regret standing beside you at the throne room, for some weird reason, norns help me! I would even do it again." she groaned rubbing her forehead. "Don't make me regret it, please!" she asked.

Loki looked up at her, looking a bit sad… Then he changed, back to his Aisir self.

"Loki… You don't need to do that." Thor informed quietly.

"I spend all my life looking like this not the other way." Loki informed standing up. "This feels more comfortable." then he looked up. "Heh, I can't stop acting on the lie even when I try! You're in the same boat aren't you? Can't even act like I'm not your brother when that is the truth."

"Loki…. We may not be brothers by blood. But our time growing up together, our time competing and thus shaping each others abilities, our times driving each other insane and then comforting each other. That is what makes us brothers." Thor informed.

"Why are you even here Thor?" Loki asked. "It is just a frost giant halfbreed! That's all you're looking at!"

"You are way more than your species Loki." Thor replied.

And Loki slammed his fist at the force field and sneered and so it went on.

* * *

Sif looked exhausted as Thor and her walked back, Thor couldn't blame her honestly, he felt that way to… Also did the other day.

These sessions with Loki were very draining, and Thor wouldn't even pretend it was going to get any better any time soon.

"He is… So difficult." Sif groaned rubbing her eyes. "I keep thinking, he is back with us! He's there and _then _he flips out! Urgh!"

Thor smiled lightly, it was honestly nice to have a witness.

As they exited the dungeons the warrior three stood there, all in deep anticipation.

"Well?" Fandral asked. "How… How is he?"

"He… erhm." Sif crossed her arms. "He seems… Like himself. For the most part, but… Then he seemed. I don't even know how to put it, a bit more… Unhinged than usual. I don't know, it's just like there.. Is something off. It's hard to describe."

"But he wasn't ranting and raving like in the halls of history?" Volstag asked.

"Well… He only did that sometimes." Sif admitted her heart sinking.

Thor put a hand on Sif's shoulder then turned back. "Loki wont be in that cell for long, you can ask him yourself ones he is let out."

"Thor." Sif turned to him. "Are you sure that… Loki asked us to."

"I don't _care _what Loki asked us to beforehand." Thor informed. "That person there is _also _Loki! He should also have a say! The only crime he committed is… Okay attacking the all father is kind of bad. But Odin wasn't hurt, and it came after a horrible revelation! That is no reason to keep Loki locked away! When we are sure he wont act out in anger I will let him out myself."

"Even if the chains aren't broken?" Fandral asked.

"YES!" Thor stated. "The curse says Loki is to bring Ragnarok, it never says when! Could be in ten thousand _years. _Plenty of time to break the chains! I wont lock my brother up for a crime he hasn't comitted."

"And what if he commits a crime?" Hogun asked.

"Then that changes thing, and he will face punishment for his crime. _After _he actually comitted it!" Thor stated sternly.

Sif smirked slightly.

"Wha-What?" Thor asked.

"Loki said something similar..." Sif admitted. "To my father Tyr… Tyr said, the Jotunns would break the treaty, it was only a matter of time. Then Loki said… Then let them break it, if they do that then you shall be allowed to march to Jotunnheim as leader of the army. But until that day, if we attack we would be the peace brokers… He was right, I think… that is the moment I realized, he truly is my prince." and she looked up. "You grown as well Thor… You are becoming a true prince." she smiled lightly.

"Oh." Thor blinked. "That's… Good I suppose. Wait I wasn't before?" he asked.

"Actually… not quite." Sif stated. "Being a prince means being a leader, being ready to take upon a massive responsibility and make the right decisions even if they don't feel right at the moment."

Thor took in a deep breath.

"Even if telling Loki a soothing lie would feel good, it is not what needs being done. Your highness." Sif bowed for Thor.

Thor smiled lightly then his smile turned to a frown. "We have work to do." he informed. "With Loki…. Taking a break. His duties are now ours. We must do our best to follow his example."

And the rest nodded determinedly, they would prevail.


	32. Stab in the back

Loki hissed as he twisted and turned, the moon was shining through the solitary window proving it was night, it didn't matter though. Loki would not be able to sleep.

He was grabbing his head as he hissed… The lie! Where was the LIE?!"

Thor… Thor had to be lying! They were _all_ lying!

Odins lies were the grandest and most blatant! Son he had said, you may be king he had said… PEACE BRINGER?!

Friggas were not quite as strong, but that didn't say much considering the magnitude of Odins lie! You are my son she had said… You are of Asgard… Right.

Sif, her bows had been reluctant and a show of mockery. When she had said your highness it had been with spite! She was a _liar! _

The warrior three, they would whisper behind closed doors, talking about him, how strange and weird he was!

No doubt Thor had joined them… Right?!

Loki was wracking his mind searching, yet every single time the warrior three had just been a little bit out of line Thor had put them back into place.

LIES! It was lies! It had to be, Thor only acted that way to trick Loki! That's how this was working, everyone always tried to trick Loki!

And if Loki just searched long enough, he would find it! Find the lie! You are just as bad as Odin Thor! And I will prove it!

The stupid oaf kept coming just like he said he would, as Loki faced him again he didn't even care that his hair had started to curl up in its natural curls or that he could barely stand up from exhaustion, from the short look in the mirror he could see deep shadows under his eyes, he truly had to look mad.

Yet Thor… Stupid Thor! The look in his eyes was just one of sadness.

"Oh this must suite you well Thor!" Loki mocked. "You always fancied yourself a savior! Rescuing me would fit right into your little ideal wouldn't it?" he asked.

"I cannot deny." Thor spoke. "I do want to safe you, I… I want you to be proud of me." he admitted.

Lokis eyes widened, ones again Thor didn't say what he was supposed to! He was supposed to deny it!

"I suppose that's a great flaw of any older brother, you want to be a good hero for your sibling." Thor smiled sadly.

"I AM NOT YOUR BROTHER!" Loki roared, hoping for that hurt look, that anger, but it didn't come.

"In my heart, you are my brother." Thor replied.

Loki snorted, then he straightened himself up, finding his own dignity. "What an ideal picture you are painting Thor." he commented. "Practicing? Then you to can paint over the halls of history to fit your own desires as well!"

"I have asked father not to paint it over again." Thor informed. "If he does regardless… I will tear it down when I become king. The truth should not be hidden. That's what we learned isn't it? When we found out you were Jotunn?" he asked ."It hurt to see but… It was better to know, than going on not knowing."

Loki closed his eyes, squinting them shut, yet it didn't conceal the sting as tears fell down his cheeks. He felt his heart banging and it felt… So tight around him, those chains. What was he doing? Why was he doing it? "Thor." Loki looked up, tears in his eyes as he felt the cruel chains tightening around him. "I just don't know anymore!"

"I understand, neither do I honestly." Thor breathed pressing his hand against the force field. "That's why I need you… I can't figure it out on my own. I need you to help me! Like we promised remember? We will build a new Asgard, not on pretty lies… But the truth, no matter how horrible the truth is. It is still better than such an elaborate lie."

Lokis eyes widened, tears dripping down his face, then he moved to the force field and pressed his hand against Thors. Though as he did, the chain cut into his wrist, and left an angry mark.

Thor though was smiling. "We decide our own future."

Loki looked down, then though he looked up, his eyes harsh again. "Well played Thor." he removed his hand. "You nearly got me."

"I am not trying to trick you." Thor insisted.

"LIAR!" Loki shouted. "I should be your obedient little servant! NO! I did that for Odin, I will not do it for you!"

"You are my brother not a servant!" Thor stated.

"And I was Odins son totally not just a tool!" Loki snarled. "A royal throne is my birth right! I am to rule across realms. But you fear it don't you Thor? I could be so much better than you! You would be the one in _my_ shadow.. That's why… You need me to stay in your shadow isn't it?" he asked. "You need me to stay loyal like you little dog, or else I grow much to powerful."

"No Loki… I never wanted you to be in my shadow, honestly I never thought you were." Thor commented. "You're… brilliant. And I am not. I had to work hard, perform amazing deeds or I would always be left behind by you… I wanted to stay in front, I wanted to be a worthy elder brother. It's hard though, when your little brother is just… That brilliant and amazing."

Loki hissed grabbing his head. "Shut up… SHUT UP SHUP UP!" he shouted feeling the chains around his throat. The lie! There had to be an obvious lie in Thors voice, yet he couldn't find it. HE COULDN'T FIND THE STUPID LIE! He fell to his knees roaring in pain.

"LOKI!" The next moment the force field was down but only for a second to let Thor inside, then he grabbed Lokis shoulders. "Are you hale! Please, speak to me."

Loki hissed, squinting his eyes, then dived forward embracing Thor tightly.

Thor swallowed, padding Lokis hair. "It's okay." he assured. "The fight is not yet over, it is ongoing." then suddenly, his eyes widened as a sharp pain entered his side and Thor fell back, wide-eyed seeing a small blade of ice sticking out from his side and Loki laughed.

"Shouldn't trust the trickster brother dear!" Loki grinned. "Now you will finally admit, to what I am!"

"Well, you are really trying to make me hate you that is for sure." Thor hissed holding the ice-blade in his side then pulled it out and quickly pressed a hand against his side. "I am not sure what point you are trying to prove, but I know you could easily have hit one of my organs so… Thanks for not doing that."

Loki seethed not happy.

"Well… I think I will go to the healers room at least." Thor informed opening the force field and staggered out closing it again after him. "Not that I hadn't had worse… It still kind of hurts though."

Lokis eyes only narrowed.

"Same time tomorrow then." Thor sighed.

Loki pursed his lips. "Looking forward to it Thor." he commented and Thor staggered outside. Loki though grinned, so stabbing him didn't work. Thor would not reveal his true feelings. No matter. In Lokis hand was something easily swiped the moment Thor had stepped inside… a key.

I will force you to see Thor! So I need to start this chain of events by myself?! Fine then… he stood up key in hand. Kill Laufey, seal my fate… Then I shall be savior and you will be forced to showcase your true feelings.


	33. Fullfilling destiny

Well…. In fairness it wasn't the first time Thor had been stabbed by Loki.

They were trained to be warriors and would play fight, sometimes it would turn rather violent and they had hurt each other on several occasions. They had always stopped before it became to bad though, and this in fact, wasn't the worst stab wound Thor had ever had. It was in fact minor.

Still, re-calling that Loki had in fact stabbed him before wasn't a fun reminder right now, Loki had really been unhinged today.

Switching back and forth, as usual it felt like Thor was so close! So close reaching him, and then Loki would snap at him… Curses.

It didn't take more than a few minutes in the healers room though and Thor was all patched up, no one even batted an eyelash just thinking Thor had been hurt at the training grounds…. Yet again.

He was just about to put on his tunic as Sif came barging in. "THOR!" she shouted.

"What?" Thor asked looking up.

"Loki! HE'S GONE!"

"WHAT!?" At that Thor stood up. "What do you mean?!"

"His cell! I just came from there! The force field was down and it was empty!"

"How could that be?" Thor asked then his eyes widened. "CURSE THE FIRE OF SURTUR!" he shouted.

"What is it?" Sif asked.

"Loki… He collapsed and I went inside to touch him. He must have swiped and then replicated the key!" Thor exclaimed. "How could I be so stupid! I've seen him do the exact same thing before!"

"Any idea where he could have gone?" Sif asked.

"I… He can't have gone far!" Thor shouted as he started to run, then he stopped, and he blushed as he had to turn around to get his tunic to cover his still naked torso.

Sif looked at him. "You don't need to do that on my account." she finally teased.

Thor huffed as he pulled on his tunic but didn't bother with the cape. "This is no time for jokes Sif! We have to find Loki before he does something he'll regret!"

"I'll go inform the others." Sif breathed.

"Thank you, and keep quiet about it if you can." Thor asked.

* * *

Loki was long gone though, he was in an entirely other realm, a realm of ice and snow.

Ymir was not happy, there was an intruder in his fortress, he seethed as he stamped through the hallways and then pushed open the heavy doors to his own feasting hall then he blinked, he didn't not expect it, there in the biggest chair, managing to look nonchalant in spite of his tiny seize was a certain small one.

With crossed legs holding out a goblet as Asta filled it up for him. Asta though, always looking so filled with mirth now had her head bowed, not even daring to look at the little one... She looked scared.

Ymir couldn't help but note, that even though his former guest looked the same on the surface, something seemed fundamentally different about him, the way he was leaning back and grinning, looking like he owned the world and could do what he wanted… It was fundamentally obnoxious.

Loki was indeed grinning like a chesire cat as he greeted Ymir with the now filled cup. "Well met, Lord Ymir!"

Ymirs eyes were narrow, the air around him cold. "That is my chair." he informed in a low threatening voice.

"Pardon me." Loki replied and in a blink he was gone, then on one of the other chairs instead, still looking just as nonchalant. "You must be praising the norns, your months entertainment has arrived."

"Careful lilleput." Ymir seethed. "You are in _my _domain!"

Loki though grinned as he stood up. "The witch Yord, a powerful shapeshifter and magic user promised Laufey the strongest Jotunn." he stated emptying his cup then threw it away. "If you can actually kill me, you deserve glory!"

Ymir grinned grimly. "You truly have become full of yourself." he stated though his eyes fell to Asta with that bowed head, still not daring to look up.

"Well, how is it with Jotunnheim?" Loki asked as he vanished from the chair then stood on the table which made him stand about as tall as Ymir. "Something for something yes?" he asked. "You are a man of business, how would you like to be the first… The very first. To have open trade with Asgard."

Ymirs eyes widened. "Asgard?" he asked. "HAAAAH! Who on Asgard would ever make a deal with Jotunnheim?!"

"Oh, you told me the tale of my birth mother, let me now give you something wonderful of equal value! The second part of the story!" Loki held up his hands. "Laufey, thinking he had been tricked by this woman had now broken her neck. He took the little one and placed him on a alter as a sacrifice!" he held up his hand. "Then who should come there, and stumble across the child which had been born that same day?" he asked.

Ymirs eyes were wide, it was clear Loki had his full attention, eager for an answer.

"Why! The king of Asgard! Odin himself. Tired after the final battle! _He _found the babe!" Loki grinned. "Took him home, put a spell on him so he may blend in, raised him as his own. Allow me to re-introduce myself." he grinned as he changed shape and in the place of a small blue Jotunn was what looked like a young Aisir. "Loki, Prince of Asgard!" he made a deep formal bow for Ymir that also seemed rather mocking the way he overdid it.

There was stunned silence, Ymir was for ones shocked, Asta seemed shocked as well.

"Granted, I am only a mere second prince of Asgard. But it is _I _whom is responsible for any contact with Jotunnheim. I offer you first taking, we can even arrange… Some deals that the All father wont have to know about. You can think of it… as a personal favor, for being such a kind host."

Ymir was quiet, then his mouth twitched, then a rumbling laughter. "Hahaha, heheheh.. HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" he laughed so the entire hall was ringing from the sound. "HAHAHAHA! ODIN!" he shouted. "Odin raised Laufeys bastard child?!" he cried in laughter. "The tale is getting better and better!" he exclaimed as the tears dripped down his face from pure laughter. "If only Laufey knew! OH! He would flip! HAHAHAHA! I could just… He could just imagine his face."

"You wont have to imagine." Loki assured.

"Oh, you intend to tell him?" Ymir asked.

"Yes, I wish to see the look on his face as the truth is revealed. Before I kill him that is." Loki replied.

"So now the little one intend to become a kin slayer?" Ymir asked. "Oh this is turning into a real mess."

"Laufey is the problem, you said so yourself." Loki informed. "His rule is preventing Jotunnheim from rising ones more. He is not practical, to caught up in his personal schemes of revenge."

"So what?" Ymir asked. "You will kill him and take his throne?" he asked.

"Why not?" Loki asked. "It is my birth right. And as a prince of Asgard _and _Jotunnheim, no one can deny me trade. Cannot deny _you _trade."

"I was right." Ymir commented. "I should have killed you that night. You think this will be peaceful?" he asked. "If you kill Laufey, destruction will follow! Instability, scorn… death."

"That is though what you wanted, is it not?" Loki asked. "It will ones again, give what you have to bring so much more value."

And Ymir grinned, his golden teeth showing. "Indeed." he stated.

"I just need one thing from you." Loki smirked.

"Access to Laufys castle." Ymir stated.

"Quite." Loki stated in a smirk his green eyes glistening in the dark.


	34. King Laufey

Loki knew, time was of the essence. It wouldn't be long before Heimdal would find him and would either just drag him back or send someone to fetch him.

He didn't waste any time allowing Ymir to point him in the direction of Laufey's domain and explain to him how he could get inside.

Laufeys castle was actually… Laufy's grotto, a large network of grottos going far underground, claimed by the Jotunn royal family, thanks to Ymirs instructions did Loki find his way inside and thanks to his gifts of illusion he made himself look like one of the bigger Jotunn grunts, it wasn't his shape shifting just a mere glamour.

The first tunnels that Loki walked along didn't seem like anything special, just ordinary gray grotto, this was the back entrance though, the front entrance was probably more impressive, which proved as finally Loki stepped into a massive underground hall.

In this hall, all the stone surfaces were silky smooth, the pillars were reaching up far above, proving that Loki was in fact now deep below ground, carvings were made in the walls as illustrations, several places though ice would rest, proving that it was deep below freezing temperature down here and Lokis Jotunn form was the only reason he wasn't freezing.

Finally Loki started to encounter Jotunns, they didn't say much though, just walking around with bowed heads minding their own business, at one point Loki found what had to be the training grounds as several Jotunn were battling each other, there were no squabbling or banter though, just the serious fighting stands.

Finding what looked like the library Loki had a fairly good idea where he was and which direction he needed to go to find Laufys private chambers.

With ease and stealth, Loki avoided any of the servants working to clean the floors… Laufys chambers were isolated, following a long tunnel Loki sneaked about, making sure no one saw him as he kept holding the knife in his hand tight.

Then he saw it, a giant door made of ice… It was as big as the door to Ymirs fortress.

Lokis heart… It nearly stopped as he tried to wrap his head around it… his own father by birth, was behind this door.

Also the father whom had been no father at all, whom had taken one look at him and decided he was worth nothing. Leaving him to die as a sacrifice to the old gods.

Loki squinted his eyes, feeling the tears burn then he looked up… The man deserved it, then he let himself be hidden in the bigger glamour and used the magic to push open the door.

Inside was a room, that nearly looked like a big hall, the floor could be ice or glass, it was hard to figure out. Pillars reached up to a dark ceiling and a voice sounded, deep as the mountain itself.

"Who dares..." Spoke the voice. "To disturb King Laufeys time of solitude?"

Loki took a step in and finally saw, the king himself, a Jotunn even bigger than Ymir, sitting on what could only be described as a throne made of ice, glaring at Loki with shining red eyes.

Loki fell to his knees. "My king."

"Don't waste my time." Laufey asked. "And choose your words wisely, my solitude has been broken. If the reason doesn't warrant such a act, you will not be leaving this room again."

"I beg your forgiveness, my king." Loki informed. "It has been discussed, and then agreed that you would want to be informed of the rumors that has started to spread."

Laufeys eyes narrowed. "Who-ever spreads rumors of falls hood, you know what to do, they must be silenced."

"If it was only a handful of people it would be a simple matter my lord, but when the whispers are everywhere, are we to kill the entire realm?" Loki asked.

Laufey seethed now showing his teeth which proved to be razor sharp. "What are these rumors?" he asked. "Tell me so I can think of a proper punishment for anyone who dares to utter them!"

"My king." Loki bowed for him. "It has been told that..." he halted, making a good show of silencing.

"SPEAK UP!" Laufey demanded.

Loki glanced up. "People are speaking that his majesty has an offspring, a bastard child. Though born so small that the child could fit into his majesties hand after birth. A tiny weak thing, coming from the kings seed."

At that Laufey's eyes widened. "What?" he asked then he hissed. "What nonsense is this?" he asked. "I am Laufey, king of Jotunnheim! The life I put into this world are strong and proud, the strongest of Jotunnheim, I do not care how many are speaking this! Kill them all!"

Loki looked up, he was quiet. "So it's true then." he commented.

"Do not speak insolence." Laufey seethed.

"You had a child." Loki swallowed. "Because of his seize, you left him to die..."

Now Laufey stood up, rage in his eyes, his entire body shaking. "You shall not be leaving this room." he stated reaching out a hand and formed a ice-blade. "Bow to me! At least face your fate with dignity!"

Loki glanced up…. Laufey seriously asked him to just lean over so he could chop off his head?

"Does it truly shame you that much?" Loki asked. "That the child from your seed, was that small."

Laufeys eyes widened then he roared as he ran forward with the blade and cut into Lokis illusion only for the illusion to dissapear and Laufey halted. "Sorcery." he whispered then he looked around.

Lokis laughter was heard from the corners of the room, echoed. "Laufey, king of Jotunnheim!" his voice echoed making Laufey turn. "You were promised a child, who would be the strongest Jotunn of all! Is that not so?" his voice asked.

Laufey seethed turning with his blade in hand. "SHOW YOURSELF!" he demanded. "Sorcerer!"

"What? Scared are we?" Lokis echoing voice asked.

"I AM LAUFEY KING OF JOTUNNHEIM!" Laufey shouted and seethed. "And I fear nothing."

"Except the truth." Loki commented as suddenly he appeared in his true seize and true blue look in front of Laufy. "Greeting… _father." _

Laufey's eyes widened. "What?" he asked.

Loki grinned. "Oh? No warm greetings?" he asked. "Rejoice! The long lost son has returned!"

Laufey's eyes turned hard, his body rigid, his sharp teeth showing. "You..." his voice was drenched in venom. "So you lived after all."

Loki performed a small curtsy. "Aren't you happy?" he asked.

"I should have _slit _your throat as I placed you on that alter so the blood could spill and be send to the old gods! Then perhaps we would have won and you would have been good for something." Laufey seethed.

"Now that's a bit cold don't you think, even for the king of ice?" Loki asked. "You got what you wanted didn't you? The strongest Jotunn?" he asked as he vanished in a blink then was on the arm rest of Laufeys throne, sitting casually with crossed legs.

"Only a coward hide behind tricks and sorcery like she did." Laufey informed. "You are no son of mine."

Loki pouted disappointed. "You sound like people on Asgard. A shame really, I think you guys might even have liked each other. You sure are equally thirsty for blood."

"Asgard?" Laufey gasped.

"Oh silly me, you don't even know my name." Loki smirked as he changed shape to showcase his Aisir self. "My adopted father decided to call me Loki, oh and make me prince to! Prince of Asgard!"

Laufey's eyes were wide, his mouth open.

"Impressive isn't it?" Loki asked. "Prince of Jotunnheim by blood, Prince of Asgard by upbringing. What _were _Odin thinking?!" he asked.

"Odin." Laufey whispered, then his rage seemed to grow as he fumed. "ODIN!" he roared. "He intends to make a mockery of me?!" he asked. "I'LL KILL HIM AND HIS LINE!"

Loki sighed deeply. "From what I understand you tried that for the last thousand years, hasn't really worked out has it?" he asked. "Pardon me, he doesn't need to make a fool of you. You are making plenty enough a fool of yourself."

Laufey's eyes were wide as he turned to Loki, then there was rage.

"It's a pity really." Loki commented as he stood up. "I suppose… deep inside, I had hoped there would be just a bit of sentimentality between us. But there is none… I am unwanted and you are a painful reminder." he sighed holding his knife. "I suppose it really was going that way no matter what, either you would kill me or I would kill you. So I suppose I better get there first."

Laufey looked at him. "You really think you can kill me?" he asked.

Loki smirked. "It is destined." he stated. "You were promised the strongest Jotunn, I am he. Now I am here for you."

"STRONGEST?!" Laufey yelled. "You barely even reach my kneecap."

"Strength is rarely determined by seize, king Laufey." Loki informed. "Let's begin then." and then he jumped up with daggers in hand.

Laufey roared as he pushed Loki back and formed a big club of ice slamming it down on Loki, only for Loki to roll aside, then suddenly there were five Lokis all coming running making Laufey wide-eyed look around, only one was real though, and plunged a blade right into Laufeys side making him roar in pain.

Then came fire magic, burning Laufey's face, a giant snake wrapped itself around Laufey's throat only for him to tear it off and trying to strange it, only for the snake to turn into a mouse which crawled unto his back, and then a prince whom stabbed him again in the neck.

Laufey roared, but never hit anything as the rain of hits came over him, his seize helped little when the attacks were so precise and Loki laughed as Laufey fell down, bleeding from so many wounds.

Loki laughed as he stepped forward, Laufey struggling to push himself up but failed. "Awww, not the strongest after all?" he asked.

Laufey seethed as he turned to him.

"Don't worry, your legacy will still be carried out. I have a score to settle with Odin as well. For all he did to me." Loki smirked.

Laufey's eyes widened. "You'll… Kill Odin?" he asked.

"Eventually, probably." Loki commented. "First though, I shall make him suffer…. Suffer hard and long."

At that Laufey grinned, blood came from his mouth and he laughed. "Ha ha… HAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed. "Do it then boy! Make him _suffer!" _he asked, his red eyes glistening seemingly now welcoming death. "Make him suffer like no man has! HAHAHAHA!"

And Loki grinned as he lifted his dagger, ready for the finishing blow, Laufeys throat, he thrust down his dagger as a scream sounded.

"NOOOOOOOO!"

The moment before Lokis dagger hit Laufey's throat a hammer came flying, knocking the dagger out of Lokis hand and Loki turned to see a young thunder god reaching out his hand grabbing the hammer that returned to him.

"Don't do it!" Thor shouted. "Don't kill him!"

"Why not?" Loki asked. "It is my right, he left me to _die! _The ultimate betrayal! According to Asgard law it is my _right _to search retribution!"

"This wont fix anything!" Thor exclaimed. "It wont help any!"

"Of course it will." Loki commented. "Jotunnheim is decaying because of Laufey's stubbornness. I though could actually give the realm what it needs."

Thor swallowed. "Loki… not like this." he asked. "You have the power to safe this realm, of this I have no doubt…. But not like this." he stated. "Please."

Loki seethed as he turned back to Laufey, only to hold up a hand forming another ice-blade and hammered it down, or he would have if Thor had not cast himself at Loki and grabbed him. "NO!" he shouted. "I wont let you do this!"

"GET OFF ME THOR!" Loki shouted. "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO INTERFERE!"

"If I knew for sure this was _your _decision. Then no." Thor admitted. "But is it your decision?! You're smarter than this Loki! I WONT LET YOU DO IT!"

And they both tumbled across the floor then sat up, Loki hissed as he pulled his daggers and Thor swallowing as he held Mjolnir.

"Oh, so you'll even fight me?" Loki asked. "_Brother." _he spat.

Thor nodded. "If that is what I must" he informed though tears was rolling down his face. "Loki please! This is not the way, it wont help you!"

"Oh Thor." Loki stood up. "Always thinking he knows what's best for me." he commented. "Poor little Loki." he mocked.

"That's not it!" Thor exclaimed. "You know that!"

"Thor… Do us both a favor and just shut up." Loki asked and then he came charging for Thor, so surprised was Thor that he barely even managed to block, then Loki laughed as he jumped and vanished, blades flying from another direction that Thor barely managed to block.

"LOKI!" Thor shouted. "Is this really what you want, or is it just _her?!" _he asked, only to not quite managing to dodge a blade that cut his face making Thor stumble backwards.

"Who cares?!" Loki asked as he laughed.

"I care that Loki is _not _the kind of person to be the tool of long dead woman!" Thor roared. "LOKI ONLY BELONGS TO HIMSELF!"

"As if!" Loki commented. "You're no better than her." he stated as he appeared and vanished. "Be the good little brother, be the proper prince, be like Odin… Be like _you!" _

His words were drenched in venom, his eyes hateful and the cuts Thor received were very real. Then Thor seethed as he lifted his hammer, crackling with energy and screamed. "ENOUGH!" hammering it down so the entire grotto rumbled and the real Loki appeared stumbling backwards, then hissed as he looked up.

Thor walked over to Loki. "You are spinning lies Loki!"

"Well it's all I know!" Loki sneered back. "You learn from those who raise you right? All that was ever told to me was a lie! _I _am one big fat lie!"

Thor frowned then, a deep laughter sounded and Thor turned to see Laufey, laughing from where he was laying. "What are _you _laughing at?" he asked.

"I might die here today." Laufey laughed. "But that I am going to take _both _of Odins precious sons with me! Now that is a sweet price to receive!"

Thor blinked then he realized, everything was still rumbling, something came from above and Thors eyes widened as he looked up just as the first big boulder fell down.

Lokis eyes widened. "Thor… THOR NO!" he shouted.

The next moment Thor had covered his face but nothing hit him, slowly he opened his eyes then wide-eyed looked at Loki whom was holding up his arms, holding up a massive shield keeping the boulders up. "Loki?" he asked.

"Get… Get out of here." Loki hissed. "_Now! _I can't keep this up for long!"

"What? NO!" Thor shouted. "I'm not just going to leave you here!"

"Yes you will!" Loki shouted his eyes wet. "Don't you get it Thor? I'm to broken! It's over!"

"No you're not! We can figure this out!" Thor insisted, Lokis eyes though were filled with tears.

"The things I know now, the things I saw. The battlefield, Hela… Laufey, it can't be taken back. I still saw it!" Loki cried. "I… I can't trust _anything _anymore! Not one word Odin is saying, not mother I can't even trust myself! I am a lie to! What is real what is fake! I don't know anymore! Have I no control over my own life?!" he asked. "It is all laid out by _them! _Always someone! Always someone to make me a tool!"

"Loki." Thor breathed, then his eyes hardened and he walked over to Laufey whom looked up at him. "Get smaller." he demanded.

"What?" Laufey seethed.

"I know Jotunns can shrink to Aisir seize! Get smaller!" Thor demanded.

Laufey's eyes were narrow but surprisingly he did what he was being told, shrinking to the seize of a regular Aisir male and then… of all things, Thor picked up the Jotunn king slinging him over his shoulder.

Lokis eyes were wide as he was still holding up the forcefield. "What are you?" he asked.

"Concentrate on the force field." Thor instructed. "Then I'll take care of you!"

"Huh?" Loki asked only for Thor to sweep Loki up and place him over his other shoulder than he ran with Laufey over one shoulder and Loki over the other. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Loki screamed barely keeping up the force field.

"Getting us out! Obviously!" Thor shouted as he ran.

"YOU BIG OAF! YOU ARE GETTING YOURSELF KILLED!" Loki screamed.

"Then keep me alive Loki!" Thor shouted as he ran.

This was insane… utterly insane, Loki had to question if it was him or Thor who had gone mad as he tried his best to push away any big rocks coming their way as Thor just smashed his way forward that is until they met a blocked path, blocked by the falling rocks.

That didn't stop Thor though which lifted his hammer and threw it upwards, smashing its way creating a new tunnel then flew back down and allowing Thor to grab it, then he pulled them all up through the hole and up on the surface where all finally collapsed in the snow gasping for air.

Thor laid on his back, gasping deeply, then Loki looked up, his eyes wet

"Why?" Loki asked. "You could have _ended _it down there! You could just have left me behind! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME BEHIND!" he shouted.

Thors eyes widened. "And let you commit suicide?!" he asked turning to him. "Do you honestly think I would let you do that?"

"What is the future?! Live in a cell, be everyones tool and puppet! All is a lie, _everyone _is always lying!" Loki screamed.

"Have I ever lied to you?" Thor asked.

Lokis eyes widened and he turned to Thor. Thors big, honest eyes.

"How?" Loki asked. "How can you still… After all I done!" he gasped. "Why?! WHY DO YOU BELIEVE IN ME!" he shouted. "I lied to you! Went behind your back! Stabbed you! And not for the first time."

"Loki I..." Thor swallowed. "I know, I can't trust you wont lie to me. You do that… I can't trust you wont go behind my back. How-ever, what I can trust is this! It is when it really matters, when it's important! You come through for me, every single time, you just proved it ones again!"

Lokis eyes were wide, tears dripping down his face as he heard it… her voice…

_He's lying Loki… they are always lying… all of them.. Embrace you fate… Then they shall bow to you… learn their lesson. _

Yet Thors eyes were honest, Laufey were laying next to them, barely even able to move, Loki sniffed, the chains tugging on him.

"Loki." Thor breathed. "To be honest… I can't trust Odin either, not anymore. I can't trust a word he says… This is not about him though. Forget him! Forget about Yord, forget about Laufey!" he asked. "_We'll _work our own path from now on! To HEL with all of them!"

Lokis eyes widened, he heard Yords soothing words then he hissed, hissed as he struggled, trying to crawl towards Thor.

"_No." _Yord whispered. "_He is just using you! His tool! That's all you are!" _

"Well..." Loki seethed. "Then at least that is my own choice!"

"_He is manipulating you!" _

Loki quieted, then he smirked, he chuckled.

"Loki?" Thor asked.

"Thor manipulating me?" Loki asked then he looked up, his red eyes filled with tears. "He's to stupid to manipulate anyone… THOR!" he screamed casting himself at Thor and then hugged him tight. "NO!" he shouted at Yord. "I decide what I want! _you _have no say!" he shouted and the shackles around his wrist, shattered.

"LOKI!" Thor fell to his knees grabbing his shoulder. "You're doing it! Look at me! Tell me what it is _you _desire!"

With wet eyes Loki looked up. "I... I WANT TO GO ON ANOTHER HUNT WITH YOU!" he shouted as another shackle shattered.

"_LOKI! It's a trick!" _

"I want to figure it out with Odin!" Loki exclaimed and the shackle around his torso broke. "AARGGHHH!" Loki grabbed the chains around his neck. "THIS IS MY LIFE!" he shouted. "I WANT MY VICTORIES TO BE MY OWN! EARNED BY MYSELF! AND MY FAILURES TO BE MY OWN! I WANT YOU GONE!"

"_No… NOOOOO!_" she screamed, but Loki held the chain and then... It shattered, all that remained shattered and dispersed as Loki fell forward, to exhausted for words.

"Loki!" Thor gasped as he just managed to grab his younger brother before he fell all the way down.

"She… She's gone..." Loki swallowed. "Thor I… I'm so sorry." he sniffed.

"It's okay, it's okay." Thor assured tears in his eyes.

Loki sniffed then he looked up. "It wont be so easy, I am still broken! All kinds of broken! And I did… I did a horrible crime, I am the peace broker!"

Thor looked up, meeting Laufey's hateful eyes.

"The bastard child is right." Laufey sneered. "This is cause for war!"

"This is a son of Odin!" Thor proclaimed holding Loki tight. "We also now know your secret! May I suggest that if you don't want to let it slip! That your seed produced a child and that child was raised in Asgards halls. You shall keep quiet about this."

Laufeys red eyes narrowed, they were threatening, he didn't seem happy.

Loki looked up, looking defeated. "King Laufey... If Thor had not intertwined, you would have been killed by your own bastard child. You were nearly killed by a bastard halfbreed, and now you owe your life to the Prince of Asgard. Do you truly wish for your people to hear news of this?"

Laufeys eyes were wide, his mouth opened. "You wouldn't dare!"

"We have a deal then!" Thor exclaimed loudly. "Today never happened, you don't speak a word of it, we don't speak a word of it. No one broke the treaty. Because today never happened!"

Laufeys eyes narrowed but finally he gave a nod. "Very well then…. Prince of _Asgard." _the last word dripped with venom. "Seems to me like you are bringing quite the venomous snake back with you regardless." he grinned.

"You truly made a great mistake when you left him on that alter." Thor commented. "If you had only kept him, Lokis talents and wits could easily have let you to Asgard and Odins defeat." he stood up, then picked Loki up in his arms. "What Odins intentions were, I am not entirely sure myself I only know this from now on… Loki decides his own fate! _You _have no say anymore"

Laufey seethed as Thor looked up.

"Heimdal!"

The next moment, both Prince's were gone from Jotunnheim.


	35. Wandering of solitude

What Thor saw first as he re-appeared on bifrost hall was the welcoming committee, honestly Thor was not to surprised.

Odin… Frigga… Sif… The warrior three… and of course Heimdal.

Odin had wanted to come as well but Frigga had stopped him, explaining it had to be Thor, Thor was the only one whom had the slightest bit of chance to reach Loki and make the younger prince see reason.

Honestly Thor could hardly believe he had done it…. He had though, he had seen the chains shatter, Loki had said he couldn't hear that awful woman. Was it really over?

Thor tightly held the cold figure in his arms, Loki in his Jotunn form.

There was quiet as they looked at him, then Loki turned his head, revealing his red tearful eyes.

Thor looked sternly at them. "Laufey and I have made an agreement." he informed. "Today _never _happened! None shall mention it! _No-one!" _he demanded, then he gently put Loki down, only for Loki to sway in exhaustion until Thor firmly grabbed Lokis arm holding him up so Loki was allowed to stand on his own. "Today never happened, so no crime has been committed! I shall escort my brother to his chambers where he will rest."

Odin looked serious. "Does Laufey truly agree with this?" he asked.

"Laufey was nearly killed by his own bastard child, _then _saved by the prince of Asgard." Loki spoke quietly. "I only spend a short time with him, but I now know what he fear most is humiliation. And if the story comes out, that that is what happened. It would utterly humiliate him. He will indeed keep quiet rather than speak the truth." he looked up his red eyes filled with tears. "I..." he tried. "I'm..." he swallowed, then he looked down, his head hanging.

Sif looked at him then she stepped forward and then she knelt. "I thank the norns for your safe return, my prince." she bowed her head for him.

Then warrior three stepped forward and then did the same. "My prince." they all spoke in unison.

Wide-eyed Loki looked at them then Frigga stepped forward, her blue eyes filled with tears.

"My son." Frigga sniffed. "Thank the norns!" and she embraced him.

Loki didn't return the embrace but neither did he turn away from it, just let her do it as she stepped back.

"Loki." Odin breathed as he stepped forward.

"Don't." Loki asked. "Just don't." he turned his head away from Odin. "I can barely bear to look at you at this moment."

and Odin halted.

"I shall take Loki to his chambers now." Thor informed. "_None _is to disturb him until Loki decides to leave on own accord!" then he took a step guiding Loki with him.

"Wait." Loki asked, then he closed his eyes and a moment after his blue skin had become pale nearly white, he opened his eyes and they were green ones more. "Okay, now we go."

And Thor nodded taking Loki with him, not letting go for a moment before he put Loki down in bed where the younger Prince looked beyond exhausted, still though looking up at Thor with beyond exhausted eyes. "No cell?" he asked.

"No." Thor stated.

"You really trust me that much?" Loki asked in a slightly joking tone.

"Aye." Thor informed. "You were driven to the edge of insanity but managed to take just a little step back… I don't think you'll pull such a stunt again."

"Well, not right this moment at least." Loki commented.

Thor sighed deeply then glanced down. "How are you feeling Loki?" he asked.

"I'm tired..." Loki commented. "Not just my body just… tired, from everything." he looked up. "Erhm Thor..."

"Aye." Thor asked.

"Thank you… For stopping me." Loki breathed. "You were right, it wouldn't have solved anything. Not like that."

Thor smiled sadly but grabbed Lokis hand, holding it tight. "You would do the same for me. If I am to do something stupid, you'll stop me." he stated, then he let go as he stood up. "Get some rest." he asked. "None shall disturb you, I shall make certain of this! Not even Frigga or Odin are allowed inside!"

Loki smiled lightly. "Thank you." he breathed then turned to his side, closing his exhausted eyes, then drifted off to sleep.

* * *

It took two full days before Loki came out of his chambers, and for all of that time Thor made sure that _no one _went in, except Thor himself whom would bring Loki food.

Even when Sif, the servants or the warrior three asked if they should bring Loki food, Thor promptly shut them down, he even as promised denied Frigga access blocking the door right in front of her. "If Loki asks for you as I shall fetch you at ones!" he informed sharply. "I will though tell him you came to see him."

Frigga looked sad but nodded her understanding and walked away.

As Loki finally emerged he seemed…. Quieter than usual, he just walked with a bowed head towards the library, then quietly asked to just re-assume his duties.

From everyone elses perspective Loki had been gone for a few weeks, only Thor, Odin, Frigga, the warrior three and Sif knew Loki had been spending time in a jail cell of all things.

So people assumed Loki had been on a hunt or travel and asked politely how it had been, Loki mostly just dismissed them asking to be handed chores and not waste time or gossip.

It was clear though, Loki wasn't himself… Nothing was the same. Sometimes Loki would vanish, seemingly hide in some corner.

Out of no-where he would flip out on someone and accuse them of the oddest things, a bit later he would apologize but the damage was done.

Whispers started to emerge and it didn't help, Loki became more confronting, acting like everyone and everything was out to get him. Only when Thor calmly spoke to him did Loki deflate and looked down, mumbling an apology.

Then finally, one evening Thor was sitting in the gardens looking thoughtful, speculating.

Then Loki came and Thor glanced up.

"This isn't working." Loki informed.

Thor swallowed but let Loki speak.

"I tried." Loki swallowed. "I tried acting like normal, I tried to help around… I can't." he informed. "The whispers, I hear them." he grabbed his head. "Everyone talking… Loki the traitor, Loki the madman… The Jotunn bastard."

"Loki that's not true." Thor informed.

"Exactly!" Loki looked up. "My reasonable side says, no one knows! What has happened is a secret! But… another side of me. It feels so real! The words, the whispers... even peoples thoughts. Like I can sense them, I know it isn't real but it _feels _so real! I swear I hear them! Their eyes I feel them on me! Waiting… for me to do a mistake. It's driving me insane, I can't do this! And that's not all, Odin! Every time I look at him I." Loki held his mouth. "When people say I am doing good, how do I know if it's true?! If they aren't just saying it to please me but then goes around the corner and make those whispers?! Talking about how I was supposed to bring Ragnarok! How do I know if anything is true?! Thor." he looked up. "I need to get out of here!" he informed. "Or I'll loose my mind! More than I already have!"

Thor looked seriously at Loki then stood up so they stood in front of each other. "We can go on a hunt." he offered. "It has been a while."

"I need to be alone Thor." Loki informed. "Where no one whispers so I can't miss interpret them."

"Then, one of your trips to the mountain." Thor smiled lightly.

"I think… I shall go a bit further than just the mountain." Loki commented.

"Oh." Thor blinked. "That's… That's okay. You could go to Vanahaim for a few weeks, visit cousin Freya or something."

"It… It's going to be more than a few weeks." Loki spoke quietly.

"Oh.." Thor blinked. "A… A couple of months?" he asked, Loki looked at him. "Half a year?" Thors voice started to sound desperate. "Okay, a full year that's..." he halted, Lokis eyes, sad but yearning and Thor halted. Then he looked down. "Take as long as you need Loki." he then asked, the reality sinking in. Not even Loki knew for how long, the damage that had been done was so great and being here did Loki no good, it could be… centuries before he could find himself again.

"Thor." Loki breathed. "I… If I stay here, I am going to do something insane again. I know it, I can't trust myself to not act on… I'm going insane all over again."

"I… I am selfish, I wish you could stay." Thor admitted. "I want you here. But… This is not about what I want, it's about what you _need." _he turned to him. "Just promise me one thing Loki." he asked.

Loki nodded slowly.

"Stay safe all right?" Thor asked. "And… When you are ready. No matter how long it takes! Even if it's a thousand years. Come home."

Loki smiled lightly. "That's two things." he pointed out.

Thor chuckled slightly. "I suppose it is." he admitted. "Will you though?"

"Of course." Loki replied softly. "It's a deal."

Thor swallowed tears in his eyes. "Loki… That thing you don't like… I.."

"But it's how _you _express yourself." Loki smirked.

Thor nodded, then slowly stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Loki, then pulled him into a tight embrace, and then held him tightly as tears fell down his face.

Neither said anything, just stood as Thor held his younger brother tight.

* * *

It was with sad but hopeful eyes that Thor watched Loki disappear on the horizon riding his horse, he knew Loki was only doing what he needed to do. And he was doing his best so he wouldn't do something insane again.

He was on a journey, to become well.

For how long it would take… No one knew. Where Loki would go? No one knew either, not even Loki… A wandering of solitude, like the Jotunns, just going without an aim and trying to find peace.

Thor felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Sif.

"He'll be all right." Sif assured.

Thor smiled lightly. "Aye." he nodded in a small smile.

* * *

Months went past, and there was not a single word from Loki, things started to fall into routine again.

Thor did his best to prepare himself, to one day become a worthy king! He could not act on impulses or pretty lies!

Trying to achieve glory for the sake of glory did no one any good.

Laufey was as difficult as ever, refusing any aid from Asgard… Their incident probably didn't help, suddenly a whole year had passed by since Lokis departure, and though it saddened Thor he accepted that there was no word from him. A few months after that Thor got a surprise as suddenly a big raven was knocking on his window.

Thor opened the window and in came the raven, dropped something on the floor and then flew out again.

Thor blinked as he looked at the thing dropped by his feet, then bowed down to pick up what looked like a tiny package. Slowly Thor unwrapped it to reveal a small knife with a handle made from jet black bone, then Thor realized the thing the knife had been wrapped in was actually a note.

Thors eyes widened, he immediately recognized the hand writing! Loki!

The message was short, just a couple of words.

_Met this dwarf in _ _Svartalfheim, _ _his knifes can even cut through bones. Don't cut yourself. _

Thors eyes widened then he grinned! Loki! Loki had send him a gift! He cheered looking happily at his new knife, checking the balance and then cut himself in the finger letting out a scream in shock as it true enough, it cut through like his finger was butter.

Wide-eyed Thor looked down at the knife now on the floor as he sucked on his finger… Well, he had been warned.

Then he smiled, just a single word from Loki was more than enough! He was happy.

It was rare, but ones in a while the raven came and dropped some sort of gift, sometimes it could be _years _between.

There never seemed to be any real logic behind the timing, other than Loki had just been somewhere new and found something that made him think of Thor.

One time it was a new brew from Midgard called beer, it was quite delicious! Another time where it seemed like Loki had regained his sense of humor it was a book titled. _"A true prince never burps." _

One day Thor commented on Frigga, that she was wearing a new necklace and then she admitted a raven had dropped it, a gift from Loki. She was beaming as she said it and Thor did as well. More surprising but just as wonderful was it when Sif was shyly showcasing a new dagger with a feather design, it looked like something one of the long lost Valkyries would have wielded and she informed in a blush a raven had delivered it. Thor just beamed and informed it suited her well! Surely she was as strong and proud as any Valkyrie of old!

Even more surprising was when suddenly one day, Odin was sitting still, tears dripping from his eyes and in his hand... It was a beautiful little figurine in glass. The glass was light blue making it look like ice and the figure was made to look like a tiny little wolf... an ice wolf.

What Loki had meant to say with that was any ones guess, Thor didn't think there had been any note. But clearly the gift had touched Odin deeply and it took him many days to regain his composure.

The greatest regret Thor had was that he couldn't send anything back! The big raven always just flew in, dropped what it had and flew away! And since Loki was obviously always moving around Thor wouldn't know where to send a raven of his own! He had even started to formulate a plan on how to capture to raven so he could strap a letter to it or something. And he even tried, but after many failed attempts and scratches all over his face... Thor gave up, and was only grateful that Loki would obviously think of him now and again.

Centuries like that passed by, Thor had finally become a young man, with a great beard and a big broad body as big as any of the warriors around him.

There was no denying that the prince had become a man! Not just in body, but in his way of acting. Always doing his best to fulfill his princely duties to the best of his abilities.

He had become known for his honesty, so honest that sometimes it was outright brutal. He though informed he always made a point on telling the truth rather than relying on a pleasant lie.

And though that was met with a lot of scorn at first, in the long run it always achieved massive loyalty, no one was in doubt that Thor was trust worthy.

And then, talk began… That it was time for Thor to take the throne, he was a man now! Deeply respected! Odin was old. It was time.

Thor had to disagree, he didn't feel ready at all. There was so much he didn't know! So much he still needed to learn! There was no way he was ready.

And it was one of those moment, he sincerely longed for his brother! Just to talk to him, to gain his advice… How long had it been now? … Nearly five hundred years, that was a long time. Also for an Asgardian, it was a very long time.

Loki…

Then suddenly Sif came running. "Thor… THOR!" she screamed.

Thor looked up. "What is it?" he asked.

"Lo… LOKI!" Sif shouted. "The-The gate! Loki is!"

She didn't get to say one word more, Thors eyes were wide as he shot up, then he ran! He had no care in the world as he ran as fast as he could, past any servants or warriors, not stopping for a single second. Running nearly at the speed of light! Stormed for the gate, only to be met by a wall of people.

"MOVE!" Thor demanded, shoveling and pushing people aside.

At first confusion happened then people seemed to realize what was going on and willingly opened a path way revealing… Not a boy. But a young man, wearing humble travelers clothes in green.

He was tall, it seemed like just as tall as Thor At most there could only be a few inches difference! Thor. But unlike Thor he was slender. His raven black hair long falling down his shoulders, his eyes green and sparkling as he turned to him.

It was like all air was knocked out of Thor as he saw him and Loki looked back at him, for a moment they looked at each other in surprise. Then… Lokis mouth turned in a soft smile and Thor didn't hesitate another second before he stormed forward and embraced Loki in a tight hug.

And this time, Loki returned it as both brothers hugged each other tight and cried.

"LOKI!" Thor grinned standing back. "By the norns look at you!" he gasped. "Tall and proud!"

"Me? look at _you!" _Loki grinned back. "I did hear words that Thor prince of Asgard was soon ready to take the throne. All I could think was, what? That kid? Surely you must all be joking! Turned out I was wrong!"

"HAHAHA!" Thor laughed. "Ready? No, not even close." he shook his head. "Loki! You must join me! You must tell me _all _you have done!"

"All?" Loki asked. "That is a tall order, that could take years!"

"I am okay with that." Thor grinned. "That is… If you.." he halted. "I mean."

Loki smiled lightly. "Thor the god of thunder is soon to be king." he commented. "I thought he might need a bit of help."

Thors eyes widened, then he smiled as his eyes grew teary. "Aye! I do!" he stated in a broken voice. "I… You are well. Are you not?" he asked. "I hope you didn't cut your travel short because of… you know."

Loki shook his head. "I came when the time was right." he informed and he looked up. "I traveled far and wide. I have been allowed to be myself and find out who I am, without having to worry about what others expected of me. I have made many choices for myself, some bad but others good and experienced the consequences of both. I've been taught of many realms, and many different ways of life. My world has been expanded and goes far beyond Odins vision, Laufeys stubbornness or even Yords spite… The world is much bigger than just that. There are places where none cares, they have other things to worry about… Most other places don't care." he chuckled to himself.

Thor beamed as he put a hand on Lokis back and guided him towards the palace. "Tell me all." he asked.

"Something for something dear brother." Loki smiled. "I believe you have a lot you need to tell me as well."

And Thor laughed. "Yes, indeed!" he grinned. "Lets go drink mead. Then you tell me a story and I shall tell you one before you tell the next! We shall exchange."

Loki smiled warmly as he walked with Thor. "I missed you dear brother." he admitted.

"And I you." Thor flatly informed, then he swallowed, his eyes growing misty.

"Surely you are not crying now?" Loki asked amused.

"OF COURSE I AM!" Thor bawled. "I can scarcely believe it! My brother is... He is here with me!"

Loki smiled amused then shook his head. "I'm sorry it took this long."

"No." Thor shook his head. "It is better you took as long as you needed!" he stated turning to him and was again stunned about how clear and even relaxed Lokis green eyes looked, also the way he was smiling. Genuinely. A warmth seemed to be coming from him.

"We made a promise didn't we?" Loki asked. "A better Asgard, a Asgard based on truth not on lies. I heard many tales, of Thor the young prince. Offending many, but what he said was always the truth."

"Aye." Thor smiled. "I heard tales to." he admitted. "Of a mysterious traveler, teaching arrogant folks lessons or helping against a foe using tricks and illusions."

"Did you deliberately search out those tales?" Loki asked.

"Well... Aye." Thor admitted. "I always missed you. I wanted to hear of your adventures." and he turned back, Loki still smiling.

"Then I shall tell you myself." Loki assured. "And I will admit, when I encountered someone whom had tales of the young crown prince. It gave me reason to stick around for an extra day or two so I could hear."

At that Thor beamed happily and Loki smiled amused.

"Worry not, my lust for wandering has been satisfied. Now, there is a job to do." Loki informed. "It is my wish to help you in what-ever capacity I can. And... make up for the damage I did so long ago."

"Loki, you don't have to." Thor began.

"It is my desire." Loki informed. "And my choice." he added in a teasing smile.

"Ah, in that case. All will be appreciated." Thor smiled softly. "Your presence most of all. Come! Let us find a place to sit! Let us exchange all of these tales!" he asked placing a hand on Lokis back leading Loki with him towards the palace.

Loki smiled and with Thor walked forward, what-ever the future might bring, they were together ones more and together, they would figure it out.

_End. _


	36. Trouble on Midgard

As Thor and Loki was walking, people kept a respectful distance. Though none could hide their curiosity as they kept trying to press their luck in how close they could get.  
There had speculations about the younger prince, of course the official story was that he was on a long journey. But since no one had seen any sign of him rumors had arrised that he might be captured somewhere or even dead. Or he was on some secret mission or studied in secret... Well, the being dead part was out ruled but that still left the rest up for debate and people were curious. Still, no one really dared to ask.

One warrior maiden though had no such care as she came running, out of breath and red face. "Thor… I… I had no idea… you… you could run so fast." she gasped holding her knees.

Loki looked at her then smiled softly. "Oh Lady Sif, I did wonder. I thought I saw you in the crowds only for you to turn around and run away. You can't help but wonder, is my return that unwanted?!"

"WHAT?!" Sif shouted standing up. "Hey that's not!"

"I am to blame!" Thor exclaimed. "She only ran to fetch me quick as possible."

"Well in that case." Lokis eyes twinkled with amusement. "May I say Sif…. By the norns, you leave a girl behind and what kind of beautiful warrior maiden stands before me now?!" he asked.

Sif blinked, then she blushed as she looked away. "Your tongue is as slippery as ever." she commented then glanced back and looked up. "Wow..." she had to bow her neck to look upwards. "Norns you are tall."

Loki smirked slightly looking down at her.

"Okay, this doesn't seem right." Sif stated. "You used to be shorter than me!"

"I do believe the last time we saw each other, we were about the same height." Loki pointed out.

"This is a trick isn't it?" Sif asked. "You are shapeshifting just to show off!"

Loki chuckled then shook his head. "I assure you I am not, this is my real height."

Thor narrowed his eyes at Loki, then drew a hand from the top of his own head towards Loki and brightened up as his hand flew over Loki, looked like Thor still stood tallest but only by one or two inches.

Loki looked at Thor then shook his head amused. "I am still growing." he informed.

"_What?!"_ Thor asked and Loki laughed.

"Got you!" Loki grinned. "I stopped growing about fifty years ago!" he laughed.

Thor blinked then smiled amused.

"Even my Jotunn form stopped growing, believe me I kept an eye on it." Loki admitted.

"You don't need to get any taller!" Sif stated then she halted. "Loki, how are you now with all the… touchy stuff?" she asked.

"Still not a fan of it." Loki plainly admitted. "But I learned just to deal with it when being in circles where it's the norm. Also, it is different when it's old friends I haven't seen for a long time." he opened his arms for Sif whom grinned as she walked forward and engaged in the laughing embrace.

"You must join us Sif! Help me get all details out of Loki." Thor grinned.

"I would be honored!" Sif grinned stepping back. "Wait Loki." she squinted her eyes. "Is that a piercing in your ear?"

"Huh? Oh this." Loki lifted a hand to his left ear where a razor tooth seemed to be dangling. It was more like a fang. "Didn't I have that last time we saw each other? No wait, how could I. It's from Jotunnheim." he suddenly seemed to realize.

"You've been to Jotunnheim again?" Thor asked astounded.

"Yes, spend quite a bit of time there to." Loki admitted. "This is from the first time I joined a group of Jotunns on a hunt and I myself delivered the killing blow!" he grinned pointing at the fang dangling from his ear. "It's tradition on Jotunnheim! First kill you make on your own and you take a piece as jewelry as proof!"

"Loki your neck." Sif breathed. "That mark."

And Thor looked at Lokis neck to find what looked like a small black tatoo.

"Ah yes! I finished and conquered the trials of mages at Vanahaim, this is my proof of mastery." Loki pointed at his neck. "Oh and this!" he pulled in his sleeve to showcase a similar tattoo. "I finished apprenticeship as a wandering healer! Also Vanaheim! This one though may be more to your taste." Loki replaced the sleeve and pulled a very distinct looking dagger from his belt. "I conquered the gladiators ring in Muspelheim and here is my trophe."

Thor looked at the dagger then up at Loki. "Is there a realm you haven't been to?" he asked.

"No." Loki replied honestly.

"What?" Thor asked.

"I've been to all nine of them." Loki admitted. "Granted, spend more time in some than others. But I did at least make a visit to each one."

"Are you serious?" Thor asked then smiled lightly. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised I…." he didn't get any further as shouts came.

"My prince!" "PRIIIINCE!"

Startled both Loki and Thor turned to see three male warriors come running, though as they saw who was in front of them they barely managed to make a stop, Fandral was the first to put his heels into the ground, which only made Hogunn run straight into him, followed by Volstagg and then they all fell down on the ground in one big pile right at Lokis feet.

Loki looked down as there was stunned silence, then Fandral looked up from the bottom of the pile.

"PRINCE LOKI!" he shouted happily.

Loki blinked, then his mouth curled into a smile, then he laughed. Whole heartedly laughed as he held his stomach. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Thor couldn't help it, he started to laugh to, and so did Sif as the warrior three managed to get up, starting to dust of their garbs as they plushed.

"Oh, this is without a doubt the grandest welcome committee I could ever have dreamed off!" Loki laughed. "Well met old friends!" he spread out his arms. "Why Fandral, now a true man, even a real beard! I am sure the ladies are not complaining."

"Well, you know." Fandral smiled sheepishly.

"Hogun! Is that a new battle scar I see, surely it must have been a proud battle." Loki grinned.

"Which one of them?" Hogun asked and Loki chuckled.

"Volstag, gained a few pounds more I see. You need to stop." Loki informed.

"WHY I NEVER!" Volstag shouted faking insult and Loki laughed.

"Silver tongue." Fandral commented.

"Sharp as ever." Sif smirked. "And thank the norns, it wouldn't be Loki if it wasn't."

"Well Loki, ready or not! Here we come!" Fandral informed and then, all three piled on Loki in a big group hug making Loki laugh and finally they let go.

"Five hundred years?! Seriously?!" Fandral asked.

"I beg your pardon." Loki replied. "It has been 482!" he pointed out.

"Five hundred YEARS!" Fandral repeated. "And why are you so tall?!" he asked. "Illusion right?!"

"I asked him the same." Sif chuckled. "He assured it was not."

"I don't believe it." Fandral stated as he crossed his arms.

Loki chuckled, it was not lost on him he was half a head taller than Fandral. "Well, I am part giant you know." he admitted. "Though, it doesn't seem I will get any bigger than this."

"Well, that's something." Fandral sighed.

"Loki..." the new voice, it was soft and yet, shaking. A female voice, it made everybody straighten up!

The warrior three, Sif, even Thor just stood straight at ones as they turned to the newcomer, a beautiful mature woman. "MY QUEEN!" they all stood straight.

Loki though just stood, lost for words.

There she stood, Frigga in a golden dress, her eyes watering.

"Mo… Mother." Loki breathed.

"My son." Frigga replied. "It has been far to long." she stepped closer.

Thor glanced at her neck and did notice, she was wearing the very necklace Loki had gifted her, send her with the raven. Not that surprisingly, she almost never took it off.

"Well." Loki blushed slightly. "I erhm… I tend to. Get a bit distracted." suddenly his fingers were fiddling a bit nervously, as if he was a boy again.

"Let me see you." Frigga asked as she stepped closer then reached up a hand. "So handsome." she smiled. "And strong as well." she felt his arm. "That thing in your ear though." she lectured.

"On Jotunnheim it is a symbol of capable hunter!" Loki defended himself.

"Oh my word!" Frigga gasped. "The mark of a mage." she touched Lokis neck. "And." she grabbed Lokis arm and pulled away his sleeve. "A true wandering healer! Loki!" she looked up with tears in her eyes. "You accomplished so much!"

"I… I just you know. I was there, they had a spot. I thought why not." Loki commented.

"You just did it because you felt like it." Thor smirked.

"Well, erhm… yes." Loki admitted and Thor padded him on the back.

Still Loki looked at his mother, it was weird having to look down to see her and she looked up, happiness and pride in her eyes, then she leaned forward, leaning against his chest in a happy embrace.

"It's good seeing you mother." Loki smiled lightly. "You haven't aged a day."

Frigga smiled as she stepped backwards, wiping her eyes. "Always the flatterer my son."

Loki smiled lightly. Then glanced up to see the person behind Frigga, an old man with only one eye.

This time the warrior three and sif fell to their knees, only Thor kept standing up, though he did bow his head slightly.

Loki looked at the old man, he was… lost for words, he didn't seem to know what to say.

Odin seemed to be in a similar predicament.

"Erhm." Loki cleared his throat. "Greetings… erhm… Father." the last word sounded hesitant.

Odin smiled lightly though a bit sadly. "I am grateful you would address me as such."

"Well." Loki coughed into his hand. "You are the man who raised me… for better or worse." he commented. "I… erhm. It has been nearly five hundred years, yet I still do not trust you. I cannot." he informed. "I returned for Thor, not for you. Forgiveness? Whether I have forgiven you or not, I am not even sure myself… I though, am ready to make peace if you are." he informed. "And, I do accept you are the man who raised me, who taught me my most fundamental values, whom I aspired to make proud for the longest of time and thus encouraged me to work hard and do my best, which makes you my father."

"You are very gracious Loki." Odin informed. "I hope you bear no ill will that Thor has been appointed king."

Loki shook his head. "Any claim I had to the throne, I cast that claim away when I left for such a long time… Thor was the one who stayed here, Thor has been the one taking care of the realm while I have been gallivanting. He earned the right, I shall _not _oppose his claim to it! I am only here to offer my services."

Thor smiled warmly as he put a hand on Lokis shoulder, a big, firm, strong hand.

"I owe him loyalty." Loki send Thor a light smile then turned back to Odin. "Forgive me father, we shall talk later. For now… I desire to be with friends I have not seen for so long."

All the young in the group grinned.

"Yes, tonight should be a night for happiness and celebration. I will not cloud your happiness further with my presence." Odin bowed his head, clearly in shame.

Loki sighed. "Before Thors coronation, let's go to the mountain. Just the two of us, not now though. Now." he smiled at the others closer to his own age. "Now we celebrate."

"TONIGHT WE SHALL FEAST!" Thor roared.

"And hear all Loki has to tell!" Fandral exclaimed. "Tell me, any exotic ladies you have conquered."

Loki smirked. "Wouldn't you like to know?" he asked.

"Oh so there is someone." Hogun chuckled.

"My, I find myself the center of attention. How unusual."Loki commented.

"Loki, you've been gone for nearly five hundred years, of course you are the one of most interest here!" Thor laughed. "Come on then! WE SHALL GO TO THE QUEENS GARDENS!" he shouted loudly. "BRING US MEAD AND REFRESHMENTS THERE!"

* * *

That night, Loki was indeed the center of attention, no one really cared about anything else than his stories, so much so that Loki even started to get bored of telling about himself, which was very out of character.

It did though become obvious... Loki was potentially the most interesting person in all of Asgard now, and still would be in another five hundred years. Even more so then perhaps.

"You spend a lot of time on Jotunnheim?" Fandral asked.

"Yes, I do believe that is where I spend the most time." Loki admitted. "Combining all my visits, I must have spend around a hundred years on Jotunnheim alone."

Thor nodded. "I see, that does make sense." he admitted. "You... Didn't get in trouble?" he asked. "I mean, you did try to kill Laufey."

"Oh I took precautions of course! I wouldn't go looking like myself!" Loki informed. "Just to be on the safe side, I took a female appearance on Jotunnheim and presented myself as Tokk."

At that Thor splurged out the mead he had been drinking.

Loki glanced at him.

"You... YOU'RE TOKK?!" Thor shouted.

"Oh, so you heard of me?" Loki asked.

"Please, don't tell me you were the one causing a rift between the two Jotunn houses of Hymbrid and Glastut. One thinking the other stole from them leading to a major dispute that put trade agreements back fifty years... Don't tell me that was you." Thor asked.

Loki turned his head away. "All right, I wont tell you it was me."

There was silence.

"Was it you?" Hogun finally had to ask.

"I wasn't allowed to say." Loki reminded him.

Thor couldn't help but snort and he laughed. "Oh Brother, even when you are off doing what-ever you desire. Still our paths tends to cross!" he laughed.

Loki chuckled. "I do apologize for the inconvenience brother. Though in my own defense, the house of Hymbrid _was _cheating the house of Glastut out of money, and the house of Glastut _was _selling the house of Hymbrid defect goods. All I did was fanning the flames a little bit and teaching them a lesson. No forgive me, I did not! Tokk did." he simply stated.

"How do you look when you're a Jotunn woman?" Fandral asked curiously.

"Honestly, I don't think you would be able to handle that knowledge." Loki smirked amused.

"Now I'm even more curious!" Fandral proclaimed.

"Well, from the description we got of her." Thor commented then his eyes widened.

"Oh brother?" Loki asked.

Thors head was deep red. "I rather not repeat any of it." he admitted.

"Wait now I remember!" Volstag gaped. "You said you would have liked to see her for yourself, what kind of Jotunn woman would be able to make even the cold blooded Jotunn blush like that."

And Loki laughed out loud as he slammed his hands on the table while Thor looked embarrassed.

"Heh, looks like you enjoyed being a woman." Sif commented.

Loki shrugged. "It was a convenient disguise, honestly... The more I have wandered, the more I have shape shifted. The less I care about any shape I just happen to inhabit. The insides are all the same regardless." he smirked. "It is... all surface nothing more. It actually doesn't matter to me personally what people see me as."

Softly Thor looked at Loki, it was nice to see. Loki being so completely at ease with himself and what he was. The insecurity that beforehand had been a constant feature, being expressed in Loki always overdoing everything. It was gone, and he seemed relaxed, comfortable in his own skin. Even comfortable about any trouble he caused and honestly... To hear about it, it just made Thor smile as well as he took another sip of mead.  
Loki not causing some kind of trouble was no Loki at all, and Thor just wanted Loki to be Loki.

The next second Fandral let out a shriek and Thor turned his head to see an incredible beautiful woman with long smooth black hair curling down her slender elegant back, winking as her green eyes glittered and the next second Loki was back to his male self as he laughed. Fandral was white as a sheet, clearly shocked that Loki could be that... well... gorgeous as a woman. Thor shook his head, okay, Loki could look how-ever he wanted as a woman and clearly just had fun with it... What about...

"What about... Being a Jotunn?" Thor asked in a careful voice.

Loki turned to Thor and then he was blue, with red eyes. smiling. Still looking just as relaxed as before, his now red eyes twinkling. "That's part of me to." he informed. "It is no more fake or real than my aisir self, just another part of me."

Thor smiled softly as he looked at his brothers blue face. "Aye." he nodded. "Either way you are a sight for sore eyes."

"Why thank you Thor." Loki bowed his head, not bothering to turn back to his Aisir self, it seemed to be genuine, he didn't care either way. And that was honestly very good! It was all so very much better than what Thor could have hoped!

* * *

"Sire." a Einherjar was kneeling for Thor whom now sat on the throne, Loki standing by his side. "The Tesserect has emerged on earth and it seems like entities not of Midgard is targeting it."

Thor blinked then he frowned. "The Tesserect?" he asked. "This object is dangerous, it must not fall into the wrong hands. I should go and check on it."

"My king." Loki spoke in a respectful tone.

"Do you disagree brother?" Thor asked.

"No, someone should definitely go and make sure that the Tesserect is safe." Loki informed. "I was just wondering, when were you last on Midgard?"

Thor blinked. "A few hundred years ago, why?"

"Well, Midgard has... gone through a lot of changes in a very short span of time." Loki admitted. "It is nothing like it was a mere hundred years ago."

"Really?" Thor asked.

Loki nodded seriously. "Their speed of evolving is quite frankly... remarkable. I fear that if you went there without properly understanding how the realm works now. You could cause quite an uproar."

"Ah I see." Thor asked. "Do we have anyone familiar with Midgard the way it is now?"

There was absolute silence.

Thor frowned looking at the quiet soldiers. "No one?" he asked. "Truly?" then he quieted, a smirk played on his lips and he turned looking up at Loki.

"My king?" Loki asked then he blinked. "Oh! Oh I see, you want _me _to go check." then he smirked amused. "Oh dear, I have only been back for a year and you are already so eager to get rid of me?" he asked in a teasing grin.

"None of the sort! I sincerely hope it will only be for a few days!" Thor stated and Loki chuckled softly. "It is a decision that makes sense though, is it not?" he asked. "You are familiar with Midgard as it is now, yes? You are a shapeshifter and an expert in blending in and getting any job done. I also trust you would do well as an ambassador if deals needs being made, and you shall report all back to me."

Loki smirked as he took a few steps until he was in front of Thor and bowed. "Your will is my command my king." he informed and he stood up. "To be quite frank. Jobs like this suits me well! I have grown restless lately."

Thor shook his head. "Hopefully not to restless, I shall need you back as soon as you have secured the Tesserect and identified who it was that tried to take it. Also find out why he is trying to do so."

"It shall be done my king." Loki bowed for him.

* * *

Tony Stark, was _not _having a good day! Who the hell was this Ronan and what was his issue?!

Alien?! Fucking _Alien?! _Are you kidding me?! Aliens are real? And they are Blue with black lines on their face. Well fantastic!

Finally, Tony and... Captain America of all people... yay... had managed to drive Ronan out into a forest where the weird alien guy was fighting to keep his blue shining cube thing... Tesserect? What-ever he wanted with it, it couldn't be good.

Finally Tony had managed to subdue the alien and was now holding the blue cube in his hand, Steve standing in front of him looking at it as well. "What is this thing even fore?" he asked looking at the cube.

"Be careful!" Steve asked. "That thing is very destructive! It's dangerous."

Then suddenly, out of no-where a new pair of hands just reached in and out of no-where grabbed the cube.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Tony shouted as he spun around now facing a new arrival.

A dude with long black hair collected in a tight ponytail, pale skin, wearing what looked like a black suite not going that well with his fang earring which seemed out of place for the business like attire. Combined with the ponytail he did look like some kind of criminal mafia gangster or something, just casually throwing the tesserect up and down. Worst of all! The dude totally rocked that gettup! Even the tattoo on his neck worked for him. Random weird guy just napping the glowy thing out of Tony's hand should _not _be allowed to appear cool in any way. Especially not with that superior nonchalant attitude! He looked like a total asshole in every sense of the word, and then came the voice, which just completed the asshole picture. "Glad you agree." he spoke in a smooth British sounding voice. "I shall be taking this now."

"GIVE THAT BACK!" Tony shouted. "Right now!"

Steve pulled up his Shield. "Just give it peacefully, you have no idea what you're holding."

The black haired newcomer chuckled. "_I _have no idea?" he asked. "What makes you think you're the one whom hasn't any idea."

"Look, hand it over or it'll get ugly." Tony informed holding up a hand which was now charging.

The stranger lifted an eyebrow. "You sure you want to do that?" he asked.

"Yeah." Tony informed. "If you don't give back the glowy cube."

The stranger sighed. "The fact you are calling the Tesserect a glowy cube shows you are not fit to have it." he commented then threw it up in the air one more time... and it just vanished into thin air.

"HEY WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Tony shouted. "Where is it!?""

The stranger send him some innocent looking green eyes. "Whups."

"Okay that's it!" Tony shouted and fired a beam at the stranger, only for him to vanish in a flash before the beam even hit. "What in the?" he asked.

A laughter sounded and Tony twirled around to see the stranger now behind himself. "How did you."

"ENOUGH!" Steve grabbed the stranger. "What did you do to the Tesserect?!"

The stranger grinned, grabbed Steves arm and then, just threw Steve over his own shoulder and into a tree.

Wide-eyed Tony looked at the soldier whom had just been flung into a tree then the newcomer. "Okay now you just asked for it." he informed and flew forward.

Soon the newcomer was attacked from _both _sides, yet he easily managed to keep up with both, sometimes vanishing other times counter attacking.

"Okay, who the hell is this guy?!" Tony exclaimed loudly. "How can he?!"

Steve jumped forward hammering down the shield and the stranger held up a hand, then grabbed the shield stopping Steve who wide-eyed looked at him, the stranger looked back.

"Look, I don't want to fight you." The stranger informed. "My only goal was to get the Tesserect away from _him!" _he pointed down, only for all three of them to realize... Ronan was gone.

Tony seethed. "He escaped... THIS IS YOUR FAULT HE ESCAPED!" he shouted at the stranger.

The stranger blinked then frowned. "I guess in a way." he looked up. "All right, I wish to know who he was as well and what he was doing on Midgard. I shall aid you for now."

"What?" Both Tony and Steve halted.

"I believe we share a common goal right now." The stranger pointed out. "Find your alien friend, find out where he came from and _why _he desires the Tesserect."

"Okay seriously. Why should we let you come along?!" Tony asked. "Who are you?! WHAT ARE YOU?!" he shouted.

The stranger smirked, then suddenly out of no-where his clothes changed so suddenly it was a foreign green and golden armor thing, it was strange and not in any way a design Tony recognized... and the dude rocked that as well, unfortunately, then he made a slight bow for them. "My name is Loki. Prince of Asgard, God of Mischief. I have been send here by our king, my brother Thor! The god of Thunder, to ensure that the Tesserect, an object of great magical value wont fall into the wrong hands. Midgard is Asgardian territory, it is our job to keep your realm safe from outside intruders like this."

There was silence, utter and stunned silence as both Tony and Steve were gaping at this man claiming to be some sort of god.

"You got to be kidding me." Tony stated. "Okay, listen! Aliens I kind of just have to go along with. I mean I saw him. But God of Mischief? Be serious!"

The man who called himself Loki smirked looking amused. "Whether you believe me or no matters very little to me. It doesn't alter facts. I simply am what I am." he stated as he vanished from the spot again and now stood behind Tony making Tony and Steve swirl around the face him. "The way I see it, I'm still the one who got the Tesserect, which is what you people want right? So... you do benefit from keeping me close. And why waste time trying to take me prisoner when I will just come with you willingly anyway?"

Both earth heroes frowned but then Tony stood up. "You got a point." he admitted. Though he didn't seem very happy about it.

Loki smiled pleasantly. "Thank you... ah what was it? Tony?" he asked.

"Tony Stark, Iron man." Tony informed. "And this here is Steve Rogers, old man icicles."

"Captain America." Steve muttered. "Steve is fine." he offered Loki a hand. "Welcome on the team Loki."

And Loki grabbed the hand firmly. "A pleasure Captain."


End file.
